Page 38 of Spite

I stared at him like he was crazy. “The only reason he kissed me was to upset you.” Duh. It should’ve been obvious. I shouldn’t have had to say it. As obvious as I thought it was, I did not appreciate the look Alec threw back at me—like I was the crazy one. “What?”

“You’re stupid if that’s what you think,” Alec muttered.

So, what was he trying to say? That Christian kissed me because he wanted to? Shaking my head, I said, “Until ten minutes ago, Christian was with Jessie. I—”

“You broke them up, because you want payback on him,” Alec said, stating my whole business for anyone nearby to hear. Thankfully, the parking lot was devoid of people, save for us. Our only companion was the moon overhead and the gentle breeze passing by.

“All I did was tell the truth,” I told him. “I told Jessie what happened six years ago. It’s not my fault she’s a decent human being and wanted to break up with him after I told her.” I puckered my lips, noticing how Alec’s eyes fell to my mouth when I made the motion. “But, you know what? Yeah, I do want to take credit for it.”

Alec turned, moving toward his car. “He’s literally the only reason you wanted to come to this game.” I followed him, not wanting it to end like this. We weren’t dating, but I had to get him to see that he was wrong. “I can’t believe I was so stupid. I thought—”

I reached out for him, laying a hand across his car’s door. “I did come here to talk to Jessie, but I also came to spend time with you—which you don’t seem to get, because you haven’t talked to me once in the last hour! Ever since bringing Xander up, you shut down.”

Letting out a sigh, Alec turned to me, leaning his back on the car. “There’s…history you don’t know, El. Things you might look at me different for.” His face turned toward the dark sky, and he rubbed his neck, oozing awkwardness.

I moved closer to him. “Then help me understand.” When he said nothing, I set a hand on his chest, a gesture I hoped would soothe him. “I would never look at you differently.” At that, he was slow to meet my gaze, which made me add with a sly grin, “I already saw you at your worst, so…” I shrugged.

The truth was, even considering everything that happened involving Xander, everything that had happened six years ago involving me, I still thought Alec was a good guy. He just, unfortunately, had a really bad case of follow-the-leader.

Alec nodded once. “That’s true. Sad, but true. Okay, if you…if you really want to know, I’ll tell you. But not here.”

“Where?” I asked, moving around the car to get in.

Turned out, the where was the local park. Closed to the public, since the sun was down, but that didn’t stop Alec from parking there and shutting off his car. By now, the kiss from Christian had worn off, along with most of my indignation from it. Right now, I just wanted to know what the hell the deal was between Xander and Alec. If I could get them both on my side…it would be easier to get back at Christian.

Alec ran his hands over his pants, almost like he was wiping the sweat off his palms. He was nervous, which I found incredibly odd. After everything the Dick Squad had said to me, did to me, this had to be a piece of cake. I mean, Alec wasn’t the one whose period showed up randomly one Wednesday. Alec wasn’t the one whose seat was drawn on constantly with red marker after that. Come on—I was used to embarrassing shit.

Shit that I could laugh about now. Sort of.

Since no music was playing on the radio, because Alec had muted it on the drive here, there was nothing but silence. Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore, so I said, “Whenever you’re ready.” Meaning: get on with it right now.

“I’m sorry,” Alec said, glancing at me. “It’s not easy.” The windows were rolled up, not another car around. We were as alone as we could possibly be. Whatever he was going to tell me must be downright horrible. Did they murder someone together? Kidnap someone? Experiment on animals or some shit? Get on with it, bucko.

“What’s so bad about it?” I asked. “Did you murder anyone? Hurt anyone else? Cause another girl to try to kill herself?” When Alec gave me a skeptical, somewhat annoyed look, I shrugged. “What? If it’s not any of those, it can’t be that bad. Out with it.”

“Christian thinks I stopped seeing Xander when his parents took him out of River Junior High. It was sometime during eighth grade. He was still one of my good friends and I didn’t want to lose him,” Alec explained, and I nodded along, not quite getting what he was hinting at.

So far, it didn’t sound like anything bad, so then why…

“I lied to everyone about Xander,” Alec said. “I lied to everyone about him because I didn’t want anyone to know that I was seeing him.”

Holy moly, was I a confused little shit. “Why wouldn’t you want people to know? He was your friend, of course you wanted to see him—”

“No.” Alec’s stare matched mine, and I noticed an intensity in his gaze that was not there mere moments ago. It sent a shiver down my spine; I liked it when he looked at me like that. “I started seeing him as more than a friend.”

What? What did he—

Oh.

Oh.

Well I didn’t…I sure as hell didn’t expect that. Murder? Maybe. Bullying another girl? Given their history with me, sure. But to see each other like that? I was shocked, so shocked I didn’t quite know what to say.

“When he told me his parents wanted him to go back to River High freshman year, I panicked,” Alec went on. “I started acting like Christian. Ignoring his texts, his calls. When he came back to school the next year, it was like we were strangers.”

I tried putting it together, “So you ghosted him during the summer because you didn’t want everyone at school to know you’re…” I couldn’t exactly say he was gay, because he did seem to like me and my body. Plus, I had the memory of his dick hard against my pelvis as I grinded on it, so…there was a better word for it. “Bi?”

Hold it. That meant Xander was bisexual too, didn’t it? I wasn’t quite sure what to do with this information. I wasn’t prepared for it.

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