Page 29 of Spite

Chapter Twelve

The next day in photography, Xander and I headed outside. It was a nice, breezy day. The sun was out, and even though I knew what I had to do tonight, I was trying my best not to let it weigh on me. Even though Xander was part of my plan, I still wanted to enjoy photography.

Each and every day, it seemed like Xander was opening up more. The longer I spent with him, the more he talked to me, the less closed-off he seemed. I had no idea if he was letting his guard down around me, or if he didn’t care anymore. Being so closed-off made for extremely long class periods.

Xander wore dark pants that weren’t exactly jeans. They looked like they were made of a bunch of patches, stitched together, hugging his legs and his ass—which I might’ve glanced at—nicely. His black hair had a kink to it, and he mainly watched me flounder.

I was finding the idea of photography nice and fun, but the actual taking pictures part? Not so much. I’d decided on making my portfolio one dealing with nature, but that didn’t really narrow down anything. Xander was some kissass to the teacher, because his portfolio was already done, even though we still had months until the end of the year.

“Photography is hard,” I whined, leaning against one of the trees lining the parking lot. Most of the spaces were empty, for all the seniors had gone home. “I thought it would be easy. Find cool things, take pictures of them.” I shrugged.

Xander chuckled, and I found myself drawn to the sound. For someone who looked so, well, emo, he had such a bright, dazzling smile. “That’s what everyone thinks photography is,” he said. “But to get the shots that make people stop and stare, it’s not easy. It’s a lot harder than you think.”

He moved beside me, pointing to the parking lot. “You could take a picture of the half-empty parking lot.”

“But I chose nature.”

“Yes, but this space is nature,” Xander went on. “Everything around here is nature, even if it’s man-made.”

I started to understand what he was saying. “The nature of high school,” I mused, grinning.

“Exactly,” he said. “See? You got this.”

Still grinning, I met his eyes. A dark chocolaty color, warm and pure in the sun. Outside, you could really see the flecks of amber in his otherwise black stare. My smart-alecky remark died in the back of my throat, and instead I said something I probably shouldn’t have, “Your eyes are so pretty, Xander.” A truth I never realized until this exact moment.

“I…” Xander looked away, trying to hide the blush that crept up his cheeks. He was, I also realized, strangely adorable, even with the punk look and the piercings on his face. This was not the Xander I knew six years ago. What happened to him?

We started to wander the parking lot, and I let it be for a while. If he wasn’t comfortable thanking me for the compliment, I supposed I should stop from giving him anymore. Still—now that I noticed how beautiful his eyes were in the sunlight, I couldn’t stop staring at him. As crazy as it was, I wanted to take pictures of him.

Somehow I knew our teacher wouldn’t particularly enjoy a portfolio full of Xander.

I took a few shots, different angles. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but,” I started, pausing as I met his dark stare. Just one look from those pretty eyes made my gut warm. “You’re so different than you were.” When his expression became wary, I added, “Not that I mind. I like this Xander a lot better.”

He shrugged. “It’s been six years,” Xander broke his silence, stuffing his hands in his pockets. I wasn’t even sure how he could fit his hands in them, seeing as how tight the pants were on his body. “Time changes everyone.”

“Why aren’t you friends with Christian anymore?” Was that question too direct? Probably, but I was dying to know. Alec wouldn’t say anything about it, so I figured I’d have to get Xander’s take on it.

“You’ve met Christian” was his response, to which I could only nod in agreement. No one in their right mind would want to be friends with that dick.

Holding the camera in one hand, I swept my other through my hair. I’d straightened my brown locks today. “Yes, I have. I just…I never thought the three of you would break up. You were the Dick Squad.” Still were, technically, as far as my plans went.

Xander let out a laugh. A real, genuine laugh that stopped me in my tracks. “The Dick Squad?” he echoed, practically grinning ear to ear. It was so out of character for him that I was stunned speechless. When his laughter quieted, he was serious once again. “We were pretty big dicks to you.”

Yes, you were. Why was I starting to hate him less? His laugh, his pretty eyes—I shouldn’t let anything get to me. I was here on a mission. Leah would be disappointed in me if she knew the thoughts I’d been having.

I moved to his side, playfully brushing my elbow against his arm. “Well, it’s a good thing I’m here so you can make it up to me.”

“And how would I do that?”

I wasn’t expecting his answer to come so fluidly, so quickly. I expected him to remain quiet, to act shy, almost embarrassed, like he did before. This time it was me who fumbled with her words, “You could…you could show me your photography portfolio.” Something near and dear to him, something that might help me figure out just how to handle him.

“I keep it at home,” Xander spoke, nibbling on his lip ring.

Shrugging, I said, “I just figured since, you know, you’re like the teacher’s pet, I could get some pointers off you. Clearly, I’m not as good at all of this as you are.” I had the basketball game later tonight, but I did have a few free hours right after school let out. “I’m free after school. I could come over, take a quick peek, and then get out of your hair.” I was well aware I was asking to see something that was probably super personal to him, but I didn’t care. A part of me just wanted to spend more time with him.

It was the whole making it up to me part that did him in, I think. Xander wasn’t a fan of my presence, so I knew there was no way he’d want to spend more time with me than he had to. It was our tumultuous past that led him to nod.

“Okay,” Xander slowly said. “Meet me at spot thirty-two after the bell.”

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