Page 36 of Breaking Ryan Baylor

“That’s kinda my MO if you haven’t noticed. Anyway. Your turn.”

“Oh, I was just messin’ with you. Why the fuck would I be jealous of you?” Hayes waited for his sour reaction, which didn’t disappoint. “Look at you, man. Your face, your hair, your body. Shit, I could work out six hours a day and eat nothing but ice and I wouldn’t be half as yoked as you. You’ve got no body hair, no body fat. All the birds sweat you. You’re fuckin’ hot as hell.”

“And? What else?”

“What else? Sorry, didn’t know I needed to rattle off a laundry list for you.”

“Are you jealous because of her? Just be honest and tell me.”

“Tell you what, Rook? That if I knew for a fact that no one would get hurt or find out, I’d fuck her? Is that what you want me to say?”

“Is that the truth?”

“Alternate universe scenario. Impossible to answer.”

“Tell me this: is it just sexual, or is there more to it?”

Hayes sighed. “Rook, I don’t fuckin’ know. I just…wanna smash her, man. That’s all I know. I really wish I didn’t.”

Ryan crossed his arms. “So do I.”

They rode the rest of the way to the apartment, walked through the parking garage, and rode the elevator in deafening silence. There was so much those two boys needed to say, wanted to say to each other, but it all remained unspoken for the moment.

When the elevator stopped on the fourth floor, Hayes got out. He turned back towards Ryan and held his hand out to stop the doors from closing. “Yo: please don’t take it out on her. Hate me if you want, crank a hundred pucks at my face, whatever you gotta do. But don’t take it out on her. She’s been through the fuckin’ wringer. Just let her feel what she feels, man.”

Hayes pulled his arm back and let the door close.

On the walk to his apartment, he was looking at his phone, so he didn’t see until he got there that she was sitting on the floor outside of his door. “Fuck. Here we go,” he muttered, putting his phone in his pocket and reaching a hand down to help her up.

“Hey. Can we talk?” she asked nervously, tightening her grip on his hand. “Is, uh, Osi here?”

“Nah. Bar hoppin' with the guys.” He locked eyes with her, which was always a mistake. They were glassy; that either meant she was drunk, had been crying, or possibly both.

“We should,” she snaked a hand around his waist, “go inside. To talk.”

“Hey. Maybe it’s not the best idea for you to come over right now, Mar.”

She grabbed the collar of his dress shirt with both hands, pulled him close to her, and stopped mere inches from his lips. “I want you so bad,” she whispered. He smelled some sort of alcohol on her breath. “I’ll let you do whatever you want to me, Tyler.”

Both of their breathing was spiraling out of control, but he made damn sure their lips didn’t touch. “Come on. You can’t say shit…like that to me.” He reached up, removed her hands from his collar, and gently pushed her away from him. “Mar, I need you to leave.” There was an urgency in his voice that she’d never heard before. “I don’t want you to, I need you to. You understand me? We can talk later, OK?”

She nodded, turned around, and walked back towards the elevator.

He watched her walk completely out of sight, making sure she didn’t return.

“Don’t say I never fuckin’ did anything for you, Rook,” he said aloud, unlocking the door and pounding it twice with the bottom of his fist before going inside and slamming it behind him.

Boundaries (15)

When she made her way back through the apartment door, Ryan was standing there waiting for her. “Hey,” he said. “Where were you?”

She didn’t respond.

“Listen, I’m sorry I didn’t…”

She put her hand up and waved him off. “Don’t. I don’t care.” She stormed off toward her bedroom, with him in tow.

“Can we talk for a minute? Look, I screwed up tonight, OK? I was angry and I took it out on you. I should’ve responded and met up with you and your friend afterward. I’m sorry.”

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