Page 24 of Breaking Ryan Baylor

Ryan felt himself getting agitated, but he remembered that he was supposed to make nice. He took a deep breath. “She can be friends with whoever she wants, man.”

“Yeah, but you know she wants me, and that pisses you off, doesn’t it?”

Ryan stood up, prepared to move his seat, but Hayes grabbed his arm and pulled him back down. “No, stop runnin’ from your shit, man. Hash it out with me, quit bottling it up.”

“What’s there to hash out, Hayes? She wants you. Great. Am I supposed to sit and cry about it?”

“Can I say something? A lot of your problem on the ice, in the locker room, outside the rink, is that you get caught up in your own head. You don’t deal with your shit.”

“Yeah? Maybe that’s just how I am.”

“Yeah? Well, I’m a mouthy, cocky, nosy ball-buster. Maybe that’s just how I am.”

“Fair enough.”

“So, you really like her?”

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is. Asshole. Of course you like her. What’s not to like? She’s a little old, but she’s the coolest chick I’ve ever met in my fuckin’ life. And what I’m getting at, dick, is that she’s into you, too.”

“And you’d know this how?”

“Again: we talk. And the only fuckin’ thing she ever talks about is some dickbag named Ryan Baylor.”

Ryan smirked; he couldn’t help it. “Yeah?” he asked quietly.

“She won’t shut up about you. If I have to hear about your chiseled fuckin’ abs one more time, I’m gonna throw up. She acts like a teenager whenever your name comes up, and she always finds ways to talk about you. I gave up a while ago.”

“What do you mean you gave up?”

“So, the night of the party at my place. We were flirting and I came so close to kissing her when we were talking out on the balcony, but I stopped myself. Then when we dragged you back home, I told her I’d stay if she wanted me to. And I would’ve. I don’t cheat, but I was tempted to that night.”

“I don’t understand. Why are you telling me all this?”

“Because I like you and I wanna be honest with you. There is something there with me and her. But if it’s gonna be you and her, then it’s nothing. You understand what I’m saying to you?”

“Not really.”

“Jesus, you’re dense, kid. I’m saying you don’t have to worry about me with her, OK? I know you do, but you don’t have to.”

“You honestly want me to believe that you don’t want her anymore? You follow her around like a lost puppy.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want her anymore, Rook. What I said is that if the two of you are, you know, then I won’t touch her.”

“You have a fucking girlfriend, Hayes. How about maybe that’s why you don’t touch her?”

“Yeah. I have a girlfriend who I’m pretty sure cheats on me. And who always brings up the fact that I’m not a real hockey player because I haven’t made it into the NHL. And who didn’t even come when I was laid up in bed after surgery. You know who took care of me? Osi.”

“So why the fuck are you even with her? Don’t you think you deserve a little better than that?” Ryan asked, the sudden anger in his voice surprising him.

“Amara said the exact same thing.” Hayes shrugged and got quiet for a moment. “You believe in karma, Rook?”

“I guess I do. To an extent.”

“Well, I’ve done some of the vilest shit you can imagine. I broke up two marriages, tore apart two whole families by the time I was 16 years old, man. Destroyed them. I have a feeling that life’s giving me exactly what I deserve.”

“What are you even talking about?”

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