Page 115 of Pelvic Flaws

From the minute I saw the black-haired, blue-eyed little girl playing with her dolls, I was completely in love. My heart felt as though someone had reached inside my chest and given it a squeeze. She was perfect, with deep pink Cupid’s bow lips, a button nose and a mass of long, black hair. She was beautiful. She was the image of my momma, the image of me. James had been right, there was no doubt she was mine.

“We’ve told Savannah you’re an old friend of her momma’s,” Allison, her foster mom said. “She doesn’t really remember her mother, but we thought it better than saying her grandma, in case she asks you questions and you weren’t sure of the answers.”

“Okay.” I took a deep breath, my eyes on my daughter the whole time.

“She’s a bright child and I’m pretty sure she’d know when you were guessing.” Allison put a hand on my bicep. “It’ll be fine Mr. Michaels. Just be yourself.”

I looked into her smiling brown eyes and relaxed a little. “I only have experience of older kids. My girlfriend has three, age ten upwards.”

“Well in my experience showing kids what comes from the heart rather than your head, is much better – unless of course they won’t eat their vegetables.”

We both laughed quietly and I nodded. “I guess so.”

“They know when they’re being patronized or lied to and she’s a very bright and articulate little girl, so like I said; be yourself.”

I nodded again and took the first tentative steps to meeting Savannah.

“Hey,” I said, dropping to the floor to sit beside her. “I’m Dex, a friend of your momma’s.”

Savannah looked up, with eyes so like mine, they took the breath from my lungs.

“Hi,” she replied in a soft voice. “I’m Savannah.”

“I know, and I’m real pleased to meet you Savannah.”

“Did you know my grandma? She died and went to momma in heaven.”

Her words were rushed and spoken on the edge of tears and I felt like I’d been punched in the gut, as she looked at me with teary eyes. The poor kid had lost the two most important women in her life and I was thinking of trailing her thousands of miles away to live in an apartment, with a man she didn’t know. She needed stability, a family, and I knew this was going to be so much harder than I’d imagined.

“I know sweetheart,” I finally said, when I found the power of speech again. “And I’m real sorry about that, but you know they’ll both be looking down on you. Making sure you’re happy and safe.”

Savannah nodded. “I know. My daddy is going to come get me soon. Grandma always said when she was gone, he’d come find me.”

My head shot to Allison, who was sitting in an armchair watching our interaction. She gave me a slight shake of her head. I turned back to Savannah and picked up one of her dolls.

“I bet he’s real excited to see you.”

“Hmm, maybe. Grandma said he loves me, but him and momma didn’t get along.” She grinned at me. “I guesses they cussed at each other a lot.”

I laughed at her incorrect use of the word guess and the fact that she thought me and Cherry cussed a lot – nothing could be further from the truth; I wasn’t invested enough toward the end to even think about cussing. I was thankful though that Lucy hadn’t bad mouthed me too much, and had told Savannah that I loved her – because I would have, something fierce, if I’d known about her.

“Maybe, but your grandma was right, he loves you a helluva lot.”

“You know him too?” she asked, her voice pitching slightly with excitement.

I cleared my throat. “I know who he is. So, you gonna tell me what these dollies are named?”

We continued to play and chat for another thirty minutes, until Allison suggested that it was Savannah’s bath time. Savannah sighed and rolled her eyes, which cracked me up, but when Allison gave her a stern, yet tender look, Savannah pushed to her feet with a doll in each hand.

“Bye Mr. Dex,” she said, leaning in to kiss my cheek.

“Bye, Savannah.”

My words were strangulated, because the feel of her soft skin against my own, gave my heart another big squeeze and I wanted so badly to pick her up and hug her tight. I was totally smitten, but I knew I had to do what was best for her at the end of the day.

“You did great,” Allison said as Savannah left the room. “She liked you, so that’s a good start.”

I nodded, and as Allison left to follow my daughter, I let out a long, relieved sigh.

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