Page 32 of It's Never Not Been You

Instead of answering, I bit my lip, pushing my ass back to meet each of Raddix’s thrusts. Plus, he didn’t need me to answer. He never needed me to answer any of his questions when we were like this. He knew every single answer before he even knew what question he wanted to ask.

To prove my point, I felt Raddix pull out, then that cool droplet of spit eased my soreness, inviting Raddix back in. For whatever reason, whenever Raddix spit on me like that, I almost exploded with immediate pleasure. Where most women wanted to be romanced, I wasn’t one of those women. I liked being Raddix’s dirty fantasy, and he liked that I liked to be that for him.

The bedroom was nothing but heavy grunts and desperate whimpers as Raddix began to really fuck me hard. No longer in the mood to tease me, his hands were like iron clamps as he rammed into me, determined to make me scream for him. I was bordering on delirium the deeper he went, and when he reached underneath me, grabbed me by my neck, then pulled me up against his chest, I knew that it was going to be all over for me.

Raddix’s other hand slid around my hip to sink in between my thighs, two fingers making me see God as he filled me up completely. Raddix’s grunts were low and rough compared to my cries piercing the silence in the room. I was close to losing my mind, and the bastard behind me knew it. With his dick lodged deep in my ass and his fingers playing with my pussy expertly, I was close to forgiving him anything and everything, and if the pleasure wasn’t so addicting, I’d be despising myself right now.

“You’re mine, Madison,” Raddix growled behind me. “We’ll figure the rest of it out later, but you are mine. I own you. I fucking own you.” His thrusts became harder, more demanding. “I own you, and I’m going to keep saying it until you finally realize it, too.”

“Raddix…” I cried out, my entire body exploding around him, the pressure making white spots dance behind my eyes, my entire body a rabid ass mess of confused emotions and mind-blowing sensations.

I couldn’t even fight when Raddix wrapped his hand around the back of my neck, then pinned me to the mattress. Instead, I just laid there, letting him slam into me with enough force to make the bed scream with the weight of his thrusts. I felt like a battered mess, but the harder that Raddix fucked me, the more I begged for him.

“Take that dick,” he snarled, his fingers digging into my neck. “Take that dick like a good slut, Madison.”

“Oh, God…” I moaned, his words making me shiver. “Raddix…”

“Only I know that you like being fucked like this, Madison,” he went on. “Only I know that you love to take dick like a whore.” His body covered my entire back as his hot breath fanned my ear. “Who are you a whore for, Madison?” My pussy clenched tight around his cock, giving him my answer. “Tell me who owns all your tight fuckholes, baby.”

With another orgasm crashing through my body, I screamed out the truth. “You…”

That bit of truth seemed to set Raddix off. He was no longer exhibiting any kind of finesse; he was after his own endgame. He started ramming into me so hard that the bed started beating against the wall, everything in the room shaking with the force of Raddix’s determined thrusts.

No longer conscious of time or reality, I was vaguely aware of Raddix cumming inside me when he let out a roar, his entire body buried in the deepest parts of me. He was unloading inside my ass, ropes and ropes of his cum coating me, easing the sting that was going to come back tomorrow morning.

When he was finally done, I laid on the bed, not putting up any kind of fight as Raddix undressed me completely before sliding me underneath the bed covers. I could feel myself dozing off, everything about me a useless mess, but Raddix’s voice pulled me back from that sweet abyss.

“I’m not done with you, Madison,” he said as he wrapped me up in his arms, my head resting heavily on his chest. “I’ll kiss it and make it all better before I take you again, but I’m not done with you.”

There was no point in arguing against what he wanted. If I really didn’t want to be here, I wouldn’t be. That was the thing about self-awareness, wasn’t it? Raddix didn’t have me here against my will, and only people in self-denial argued that they ‘had no choice’. For all of Raddix’s threats, he wasn’t making me do anything that I didn’t want to do. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but one that I was taking willingly.

“I’m tired, Raddix,” I whispered, feeling the words down to the marrow of my bones.

“I don’t care, Madison,” he replied truthfully, his voice full of regret. “I can’t afford to care about that right now.”

“When will you be able to?”

“When I finally have you back,” he answered like I knew that he would.

Chapter 21

Raddix~

Madison had tapped out a couple of hours ago, but I hadn’t been able to sleep. It was a little past ten, and since I had missed dinner with her unannounced visit, the second that she had begged for a break, I’d gotten up to get something to eat. Though I had tried to get her to eat something with me, she’d been adamant about just wanting to get some sleep, so against my better judgement, I hadn’t forced her to eat anything. However, she wasn’t leaving for work in the morning without some breakfast.

After eating, I’d decided to check some emails, gotten a little bit of work done, then had texted Caspian that I might not be into work tomorrow. I had no idea how the morning was going to go, so I’d rather be prepared than not. Caspian had given me a thumbs-up emoji, followed by an eggplant emoji, and it really was a miracle that Lilibeth put up with the kid.

With nothing else to do, I had returned to the bedroom, and an hour later, I was still sitting in the rocker, watching Madison sleep. Yesterday, I had spent every waking moment buried inside her, keeping her from running out of the house in regret, so I hadn’t had a chance to just appreciate her being back in our bed. However, with her sleeping peacefully on the side that she’d always slept on, my chest felt like it might explode with desperation.

Watching Madison back where she belonged, I felt like I was running out of time before I lost my shit completely. I had no idea how much longer I could do this with her. I felt like all my regret, pain, and need was bubbling to the surface, and I didn’t even want to imagine what could happen if I wasn’t able to keep a lid on everything that Madison made me feel. Everything felt suffocating when she wasn’t near me, and I couldn’t live like that.

I refused to live like that.

When she started to stir, my chest ached with the familiar movements. Watching her felt like going back in time, and that’s where I wanted to stay. I wanted us to never leave this house, keeping us trapped in here like this past year hadn’t happened.

“Are you watching me sleep?” she murmured as her eyes blinked with exhaustion.

“Yes.”

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