Page 30 of It's Never Not Been You

Raddix~

We were right back at where we’d been yesterday. Madison was weakening, and I was too desperate not to take advantage of the fact that she still loved me. It probably made me a horrible person and incredibly selfish, but letting her go wasn’t an option. For the sake of my sanity, letting Madison leave wasn’t anything that I could entertain seriously.

Crowding her until her back was pressed up against the wall, I said, “I’ll get on my knees if you want me to, Madison.” Her shoulders sagged, a sign of defeat. “I’ll live on them if that’s what will make you forgive me. When I say that I will do anything to get you back, I mean it.” My hand reached up to grab the side of her neck. “Baby, I’ll do anything. Just tell me what to do.”

This wasn’t anything that she didn’t already know. I’d been saying this same shit ever since we first spoke. If I could go back in time, I would. If I could erase this past year from her mind, I would. However, since I couldn’t do either of those things, all I could offer her was everything else in my power to do. Even though it might take me the rest of my life, I just needed one chance to prove to her that I’d never do anything to hurt her again. Hell, I hadn’t even meant to hurt her the first time. Yeah, I should have been honest with her, but that had been my only mistake.

“You keep saying that, but I don’t have an answer for you, Raddix,” she replied tiredly. “There’s nothing that will make this…this humiliating ache go away.”

My other hand slid around her hip. “That’s where you’re wrong,” I informed her, my voice already low and showing my need for her. “You know it just as well as I do, Madison.”

“Until the morning,” she fired back. “You might be able to make me forget what a mistake you are for a few hours, but the harsh reminders are ready and waiting when the sun comes up, Raddix.”

I leaned down until my face was in the crook of her neck. “Then I guess I’ll just have to make sure that the sun never comes up.”

Madison’s voice was a cracked whisper when she asked, “And how do you propose to do that?”

“Stay inside you until you pass out and can’t wake up until the sun has gone down again,” I answered, my hand sliding from her hip to underneath her skirt. Having not changed before coming over here to tear me a new one, Madison was wearing her usual work attire, which gave me easy access to all her secrets, though they really weren’t her secrets anymore. They hadn’t been ever since she first let me slide inside her all those years ago. Ever since that day, all her secrets had belonged to me, and truth be told, they still did.

“I hate you, Raddix,” she said, though her voice held no real conviction anymore as my fingers were already sliding through the damp fabric of her panties. “I hate you.”

My lips found her neck. “I can accept that,” I replied. “As long as you feel something for me, I’ll take it. I’ll gladly take your hate until I can turn it back into the love that you once felt for me.”

Madison let out a low whimper as two of my fingers slid inside her warm, wet, welcoming pussy. “You’ve got it so wrong, Raddix.”

“With as wet as your pussy is, I don’t think that I do, baby,” I rasped against her neck.

“It’s not my body or my love that you need to win back,” she said as her hands wrapped around my forearm, her hips working against my fingers. “It’s my trust that you can’t win back.”

She was right.

No matter what anyone said or what anyone wanted to believe, trust could not be won back, no matter what. Even if all was forgiven, betrayal was never forgotten. No matter how many counseling sessions you attended, no matter how many sermons you listened to, no matter how many apologies were given, trust was the most fragile thing out there, and once broken, that was it. Whether nurtured or neglected, that seed of doubt never went away. Madison no longer had faith in me, and though her body and heart might still belong to me, when she had once trusted me with her future, that blind faith no longer existed, and that’s where I’d been getting this wrong.

Still, that didn’t mean that I was going to give up.

“Yes, I can,” I lied, her low moans hitting my chest like a gunshot to the middle. “I’m not a liar, Madison. I never have been.”

“Raddix…” she whimpered, not caring about my declarations. “Oh, God…”

Desperate to deny her truth, I removed my fingers from her dripping cunt, then dropped to my knees as I pushed Madison’s skirt up around her hips. Yanking her panties to the side, I stuck my face in her pussy, then started eating her sweet paradise, her flavor the only one that I’d ever known.

Madison’s hands pulled at my hair, keeping my head nestled safely between her thighs as she rode my face, trust not an issue between us when we were together like this. My tongue worked her clit as I slid my fingers back inside her, stretching her with three digits this time. If I could fist her tight cunt, I would; that’s how badly I wanted to prove my point. However, I didn’t want to hurt her, and Madison wasn’t into that type of thing. Truth be told, neither was I. I just couldn’t get enough of her, and that glaring fact had me feeling violent.

“Raddix…don’t stop…”

There was no way that I would stop before she came on my face. I hadn’t been lying when I’d said that I’d keep her passed out on my dick, so that she never saw the sun again. The plan was to keep her legs spread for me all night long, and fuck work. She didn’t need to, and Caspian and Troy could run McKay Engineering just fine without me.

“Raddix…” Madison cried out as she came on my tongue, her hips fucking my face like the goddess that she was. “Christ…Raddix…”

Not giving her time for another regret, I stood up as I pushed my sweats down around my thighs, freeing my cock. With a simple yank of the delicate fabric, Madison’s panties floated to the floor, and I had her thighs in my hands and her legs wrapped around my waist before she could protest.

Impaling her on my cock, Madison cried out as a low groan erupted from my throat. It was always like this. Even though we had fifteen years under our belts and a million sexual memories, it always felt like this whenever I first pushed my dick inside her pussy. Nothing else existed whenever I was inside Madison like this. The world could be burning down around us, and I still wouldn’t stop fucking her. We could be at war, and I still wouldn’t stop until she was cumming on my cock. That first thrust made the entire world disappear, and it was a world that I couldn’t live in without her by my side.

“This pussy is mine, Madison,” I grunted as I started fucking up into her. “All of you will always belong to me.” Her arms tightened around my neck, her petite body bouncing up and down on my cock. “I will be the only man to ever cum inside your sweet cunt. I own you, Madison. Just like you own me, I own you. All of it is mine, baby.”

“Raddix, more…” she begged, still refusing to submit, still refusing to give me what I wanted. “Morre, more, more…”

“You want more, baby?” I taunted. “You need it harder? Faster? Deeper?”

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