Page 21 of It's Never Not Been You

“Quit threatening me,” she snapped.

“I’m not,” I snapped back. “I’m being as honest with you as I can.”

“I’d be a fool to forgive you,” she hissed.

“Do you want me on my knees?” I asked, taking a few steps closer. “What do you need from me to lessen the humiliation, Madison?”

“Nothing can lessen my humiliation, Raddix,” she spat.

“Yeah?”

Madison nodded. “Yeah.”

“Nothing?”

“Nothing.”

Pulling my hands out of my pocket, one arm snaked out, then grabbed her bicep, yanking her towards me. Her dark eyes widened, and if she was spitting mad at me before, the fire blazing in her gaze showed me a fury that I probably deserved right now.

Still, I was desperate.

“Don’t do this, Raddix,” she ordered. “Do not do this.”

“See, you couldn’t be more wrong, Madison,” I told her as my other hand slid up underneath her skirt, my palm caressing the outside of her smooth thigh. “It wasn’t you that was humiliated that day in the church.” Her chest started heaving, but she wasn’t pushing my hands away. “I was the one left standing at the altar while you and your anger stormed out of the building. I was the one that’d had to stand in front of everyone and tell them that the wedding was off. I was the one that’d had to tell everyone how I was fucking stupid.” My right hand gripped her hip. “So, I’m pretty sure you weren’t the one humiliated in this situation.”

“Finding out that my fiancé didn’t really want to marry me in front of the videographer was humiliating, Raddix,” she bit out.

“Except, that’s not what happened,” I pointed out. “I already explained that.”

“That doesn’t mean that I haven’t been sitting with those feelings for a year,” she fired back. “Your reasons change nothing.”

I slid my hand across her thigh until I was cupping her pussy. “Then why aren’t you pushing me away?” I challenged.

“You’re a bastard,” she choked out, anger, shame, and regret etched all over her pretty face.

My fingers slid inside the gusset of her panties, and my knees almost gave out on me when I found her wet and ready. It was manipulative and wrong, but I’d deal with that at confession. Right now, I was fighting for my fucking life, and I didn’t give a fuck how unhealthy it was to live for another person the way that I lived for Madison.

“Maybe,” I conceded as her hands latched onto my arms. “But I fucking love you, Madison. I fucking love you, and I’m desperate, baby.”

Madison closed her eyes and let out a small whimper as I worked my fingers in and out of her pussy. Her cunt felt tight enough to convince me that she had spent this past year doing nothing but trying to mend her broken heart. Madison had always been a forever-type of girl, so I knew that she was still mine.

“I hate you,” she whispered as her hips started moving with my fingers.

“I know you do,” I replied, her cream leaking down my hand.

Chapter 14

Madison~

Raddix’s fingers felt too good inside me to care about pride or righteousness right now. I hadn’t felt his hands on my body in over a year, and women craved sex just as much as men did. Even if my emotions weren’t involved, sex was powerful for a reason. If it didn’t feel so damn good, then people wouldn’t weaken with the promises of a pleasure that only came from sex. I also knew what Raddix was capable of, so that was working against me in the worst way.

I felt Raddix’s other hand lifting my skirt, exposing me to whatever was coming next. With his fingers expertly working me like these past twelve months had never happened, his other hand gripped the fabric of my panties, the tearing sound hitting my ears like a gunshot. It should have been enough to snap me out of my lust-filled haze, but it wasn’t.

“Look at me,” Raddix ordered.

I didn’t want to.

If I did, he’d see surrender in my eyes, though it was really shame. This was why I had fled. This was why I had avoided Raddix all these months. When it came to him, I was weak. It was apparent that I was also stupid. I never should have come back here. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be strong enough to resist what only Raddix could do for me. As my only sexual partner ever, he had an advantage that was quite powerful when I couldn’t bring myself to be with anyone else.

---