Page 81 of Hold Me Until Morning

“Gettin’ a reputation, Lolly?” Maddie peeped as she clambered onto the stool next to me, her little elbows propped on the island and her grin beaming at both of us.

“That’s right, little one, I thought your mommy might be earning a reputation.” She placed a plate in front of Maddie, then picked one up for herself and started around the island. “But apparently she doesn’t know how to have any fun.”

I tried to hide my breath of relief, only she paused at my side just as she was rounding the island. Reaching out, she rubbed her thumb on a sensitive spot where I realized it was raw from Cody’s scruff. “Only I think you might have a little reputation…right here.”

All the craps.

Lolly was never going to let me live this down.

“Mommy, watch me!” Maddie climbed the ladder to her slide for what had to be the hundredth time. We’d been out back all afternoon, soaking up the sun, relaxing, playing, enjoying this freedom we’d been given.

I sat on the top step of the back porch, watching my child, my chest stretching full with the hope of this life.

With the hope that we could leave the past behind. That we could flourish here. Find the true joy of safety and security.

Of love and devotion.

The chains still rattled at the back of my mind, a constant threat, but I knew this was the true risk I’d had to take.

The one that was worth it.

I couldn’t allow fear to reign. Couldn’t succumb to the pressures that had been given.

The bright blue of the day had faded into a misty hue of pinks and grays, and the sun slipped far behind the trees, the night barely creeping up on the cloudless sky. A single star blinked to life, and the air had cooled a fraction, enough that we’d left the screen doors open to the house.

I’d done my best throughout the day to ignore the lure I could feel emanating from the house next door. To ignore the way I could feel his big body moving through the space, as if each step he took within his walls sent a bolt of seismic activity into the ground and trembling into me.

Which was insane and obsessed, and I was not that girl, so I’d done my best to push all thoughts of one Cocky Cowboy out of my mind.

I inhaled a deep breath, holding in the joy that surrounded me as I watched my daughter get to the top of the slide. “I’m watching you,” I called.

“Good. Don’t even look away for one single minute or you’re gonna miss it. Count ’em down, my Lolly!” she shouted to my grandmother who was reading a book from a rocking chair on the far side of the porch.

Lolly was happy to oblige. “Three, two, one, go!”

Maddie threw her arms high as her little body flew down the slide.

“Look at you go!” Lolly whistled.

Maddie planted her feet when she hit the bottom, angling her arms back like she was sticking a dismount in gymnastics class. “What’s my score, Mommy?”

“A 9.9, at least.”

“Whew. I knew it was a really good one. Did you see how fast I went?”

“So fast,” I told her.

“Like a rocket, right?”

“Even faster.”

“One more because I have to get a 10.” She darted around to go for the steps again.

That was right when the doorbell rang, echoing from within the house.

“Are you expecting someone?” Lolly lowered her book, which was one of her favorite smutty romances, to look at me from over the top.

A tiny bolt of unease rippled through. “No. You?”

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