Page 79 of Hold Me Until Morning

From where I was lying face down and wrapped around a pillow, I cracked open an eye to find Maddie waving her arms in the air and her little feet bouncing on the mattress a foot away from my head. “You have to wake it up right now because me and my Lolly is making you the best breakfast you are ever gonna eat in your whole life because Lolly said today is extra special.”

I tried not to wince at the stabbing of light spearing in through the window, and my voice was craggy when I asked, “What’s so special about today?”

“She said you are finally earning a reputation.” Maddie flapped her arms so hard I thought she might take flight, and I groaned and buried my face back in my pillow.

Crap.

Had Lolly known I was out there with Cody last night? I couldn’t even allow myself to contemplate it. My behavior risky. Verging on treacherous. I did my best to cram the surging of emotions back down. To keep them contained.

Deteriorating into a puddle of panic over my actions last night did not seem like the best way to begin the morning. But it was right there, bubbling beneath the surface.

Fear.

Guilt.

All mixed with the wash of warmth that skimmed across my skin as my mind flashed to the memory of the way those golden eyes had watched me last night. The way he’d touched me. The way it’d felt.

How he’d felt against my hand.

I squeezed my eyes against the assault of it.

One time.

It was one time.

And I was chalking it up to a fantasy.

I couldn’t allow myself to dip my toes any deeper into the treacherous waters I’d already been waist deep in last night. I could already feel the sharp scrape of shame dragging across my conscience.

Maddie reached down and yanked at my hand, trying to haul me straight off the bed. “Come on, Mommy! It’s already eleven and it’s almost afternoon and you are a lazy butt.”

“What?” I shot upright. “It’s already eleven?”

My attention bolted to the clock on my nightstand.

Eleven o’ one.

Crap. I hadn’t meant to sleep that long. Had planned on being up first thing in the morning and acting like last night had never transpired.

Maddie moved to get directly into my line of sight. “It was the time Lolly said I had to wait to before I was allowed to wake you up, but it took one whole minute to get all the way in your room, so I’m very sorry I’m late.”

Inhaling a deep breath, I tried to gather my nerves.

To focus on my daughter.

On what was important.

And that definitely wasn’t the man next door.

The sweet smile Maddie gave me was full of love and belief.

The impact of it dumped directly into my chest.

A squeezing of devotion and loyalty.

A consummate reminder that she was the reason.

My purpose.

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