Page 160 of Hold Me Until Morning

My heart battered at my ribs and my spirit was dislodged from the place where I’d tried to keep it protected.

From where she swayed beside me, Maddie giggled, both embarrassed and joyed in her precious, innocent way. “Are you kissin’ my mommy, Mr. Cody?”

And I realized it was the first time he’d kissed me in front of her. The first time he’d touched me in front of her.

Well, other than the secreted, covert brushes when he was sure she wasn’t paying attention.

His hand slid down to curl around the side of my neck, his big fingers splaying wide as if he was holding the whole of me.

He turned his gaze down to my little girl. “Do you mind if I give your mommy kisses?”

Maddie shrugged. “I guess you probably should if you love her.”

The air was suddenly thick. So damned thick that there was no chance of getting it into my lungs, my chest squeezing and my pulse going erratic at the thought.

Cody looked back at me, and he brushed his thumb across my flesh, his regard both tender and acute.

Uncertain and sure.

I shivered beneath it.

His teeth raked his bottom lip before he seemed to come to a conclusion, and he pulled away to pick Maddie up from under the arms and tossed her into the air. She squealed in delight, screeching as she flew before she frantically curled her little arms around his neck when he caught her.

“You caught me,” she gasped as if there was a chance he wouldn’t have.

“Of course, I caught you, Button. That’s what these arms are for. Holding you and your mother up. Taking care of you. Because you and your mom are important to me.”

Cody glanced back at me when he said it, repeating a semblance of the words he’d spoken earlier that week. Words that tried to hook into the most brittle places hidden inside.

“Really important?” Maddie peeped.

Cody set her on the island, his hand on her leg to make sure she was safe. His attention swept between the two of us, and his voice lowered when he said, “The most important, Maddie. You and your mom are the most important to me.”

“Good, ’cause I think you’re really important, too.”

“Is that so?”

“Mmhmm.” She beamed that smile, blonde, wild ringlets bouncing around her chubby cheeks. “And it’s a really important thing to know that I’m really very hungry right now.”

A rough chuckle scraped from Cody’s throat. “What am I goin’ to do with you, Button?”

“Keep me?”

Affection bound the room. So intense I was nearly shredded by it.

Mixed in it was the unknown. That dark thing that would crowd in at the edges of Cody’s aura and clot out the easiness in his spirit. The part of him I wanted to seep into, too.

Cody poked Maddie’s belly, trying for light, to break out of whatever demons that held him trapped.

Squealing, she grabbed at his hand. “You got me, Mr. Cody!”

Emotion gripped him, the words a coarse, ragged grumble. “Nah, Maddie. Think you got me.”

Country music played from the speakers and dust flew behind Cody’s truck as he barreled down the dirt road that led to Hutchins Ranch. We’d already traveled more than forty minutes, winding through the forest as we’d left Hendrickson and made it into Time River, before we’d hit a straight two-lane road that had taken us across flat plains where the vegetation had become sparse.

The blue sky wide open above us.

We’d made the right off the main road and onto a long dirt drive, and we climbed a high hill.

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