Page 13 of Her Golden Heart

“No,” he disagrees, smiling then he lays his hand flat against my lips and presses down. An involuntary moan slips out of my mouth as he rubs. “Hmm. Good?”

“Uhhhhhh….” I can’t answer with words, only a wordless moan it feels so good as he slips a finger inside, curling it up and softly stroking. I bite my lip to force myself to focus then pull away from his blocking hand. “I’m… old.”

I force the two words out despite the distracting pleasure. He stops moving his fingers and raises part way up, and looking suddenly very serious. A low growl sound slips out.

“Old? This concern yours?”

I’m a little taken aback by the forcefulness of his tone and it’s more than a little awkward having his finger inside me when he seems to be angry.

“Yeah,” I say, forcing myself to not recoil.

My concerns are legitimate. I will not back down because I know I’m right. I take hold of his arm and slide his finger out, moving his arm away. I shift and sit up, crossing my legs and resting my arms on them. I lean towards him, knowing that I have to confront this now. I will not be that woman who drags him along. This isn’t good for him no matter how much I want it.

“No,” he says.

There’s no anger in his voice, only a definitive finality. He shifts around until he is also sitting cross-legged in front of me, which is kind of weirdly awkward because his cock is still rock hard and now pointing at the ceiling of the tent. His tail slaps the ground behind him over and over.

“No?” I ask. “Just, no? Nothing more. No reasoning? What’s your logic Mohlad?”

He frowns and for the first time breaks his gaze on mine, looking at the ground between us. His tail continues the rhythmic thumping. He raises his hands then shakes his head and drops them into his lap. When he looks up his gorgeous eyes are somehow even brighter than they were.

“Tajss,” he says, pausing as if for effect then finishes with a flourish of his hand between us, “provides.”

“What does that mean? Tajss provides. I mean, it’s a mantra, sure, but what does that have to do with this? With us?”

I motion between the two of us and shake my head but I’m acutely aware of the head of his rock hard cock that is only an inch or two below my gesturing hand and damn it if my mouth isn’t watering as I inanely wonder what it would taste like.

“Everything,” he says, his voice low, husky and for some reason sounding breathless.

It’s as if he made the most profound statement ever uttered and he leans in closer. His hands move to rest on my thighs and I’m so, so aware of the coolness of his scales and yes, I want him to touch me more and more. But no, not until I understand.

“Mohlad,” I say, shaking my head. “Everything is not an answer. I don’t understand. You’re young and this,” I motion my hand back and forth, “it’s wonderful. Amazing. More than I could ever ask, but I’m old. I can’t be…”

I trail off choking on the words because I want it. I didn’t want to admit it, not even to myself but I want this. I want him. I want to grow old with him, but damn it I’ve already aged. The unfairness of it hits me in a way that I never expected. It’s overwhelming and I really want to cry. I look at him with tears forming in the corners of my eyes and strive to get the emotional roller coaster under control.

In the dimness of the tent I hope, clearly in vain, that he won’t see my distress. I don’t want him to feel bad. He’s been wonderful. Amazing, but this, all of this, is hitting me hard. I don’t want a tryst with him. I thought, when this was happening, that I could be okay with it just being a fling. But it’s not enough. I can’t do this to him or to me.

“Epis,” he says. “Tajss provides.”

“You’ve said that,” I say, raising my voice not in anger but frustration that I can’t contain. “I don’t understand. Mohlad, you’re young. You deserve a woman who will stay with you, for a long time. I don’t… I won’t…”

He puts his hand over my mouth stopping me from talking. I’m so surprised by the action that I can only stare at him wide-eyed. He shakes his head and makes a shush sound.

“No,” he says. “No. Say not. No.”

I grab his hand and pull it off my mouth. I narrow my eyes, angry for the first time.

“I will say whatever I want,” I say through a clenched jaw.

“Yes,” he nods then shakes his head. “No. Understand.” He frowns and growls with frustration. “Words… hard.”

He hisses something in his own tongue and his tail slaps the ground behind him several times in what I assume is anger. He moves his hands up and down. I close my eyes and get my own temper under control.

“Mohlad,” I say when I open my eyes. “Okay. Let’s slow down. You understand my words, but have trouble finding them, right?”

He nods his agreement with enthusiasm. And right then I happen to glance down just enough to see that his cock is still rock hard and ready. There is an instant, brief but undeniable, that I want to throw all this aside and just ride that hard member until we both collapse. I don’t, but damn the desire is there.

“Yes, yes,” he says.

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