Page 22 of The Alpha's Arranged Bride

Both women raised brows at that and then they settled into identical frowns.

“Zora, your mom worked wonders with his hands, and they’ve mostly healed. I know they’ll never be how they were, and he knows he’ll never be the man he was when I met him, but that’s not what I want. I just want him. Here. Now. He can’t feel anything if he won’t try. He shuts me out intentionally. He barely acknowledges the boys even though they all sleep in the other room at night. He takes the floor. His body has healed, but his spirit is so broken.” She had to look down at the snow gathered around her knees in a solid white drift because her face was on fire. She felt like she was betraying Agnar in the worst way, but she didn’t know what else to do.

“When Castor wanted to… when we first met, he thought that he shouldn’t touch me because he’d soil me or something.” Briar May’s confession brought everyone’s heads back up. Prairie Rose did her best to hide her shock. “He thought I was too good for his bloodstained hands. I had to show him I wasn’t. I had to take him by surprise and proveto him what I felt. He thought I was this innocent little princess, but I knew I could handle his darkness. I had to show him that I could and liked it too.”

“What?” Zora gasped in surprise. Prairie Rose was similarly shocked, her younger sister had always seemed so naïve.

“I would never breathe a word of that if I didn’t think it literally was a life-or-death issue. You can never say anything. Please,” she said, her cheeks flushed pink. More from her confession than the chill air.

“I would never dream of telling your secrets,” Zora said.

Prairie Rose blinked past frosted eyelashes. “Neither would I. I know you both won’t say anything about what I’ve said either.” She really thought about what Briar May was saying. “You think I can just force myself on him? I don’t know… that sounds all wrong.”

“Not force like that. I don’t even know what I’m saying. Just force as in force him to feel. Feel something. Feel anything. Make a start. Chip away that first block of ice.”

“What if I do and he hates himself for it? What if that’s more damaging than anything?”

Briar May took her mittened hand again and squeezed, so she could feel her fingers through the fabric. “I don’t think he could hate himself more than wishing he was dead.”

“What I said was a bad example. I’m not even talking about what lovers do. Are there other ways you can show him? Can you go to the woods and find him? None of us have tailed him there. We all thought leaving him alone was best, but he’s getting worse, not better. Or staying the same and the same is rock bottom, so that’s no good. Could you go there and just sit with him? Maybe take his hand if he’ll let you?”

Was taking his hand ever going to be enough? Was anything she was capable of at all going to mean anything? “He was a warrior. An alpha. Now, he’s nothing. He was betrayed numerous times. Beaten. He’s lost everything for believing in peace and freedom.”

“The remainder of his pack doesn’t hate him,” Zora assured her, even though she already knew that was true. “They respect him still, even the ones who were restless under the peace. They’ve all shared with Kieran that after nearly being wiped out, they want to for once feel the warmth of the sun, plant a garden they’re going to harvest, feel the seasons change with certainty, watch their children grow and their friends get old. That doesn’t mean they’ve stopped working or that they’ll stop training. Kieran is working with some of our men to put a more rigorous program into effect in the spring for anyone who wants to learn. More than just the self-defense we were taught. Not to go to war, but to protect ourselves in case something ever does happen.”

“Thank you, Zora. Truly. I do know that, and so does Agnar, but he refuses to hear it. I get what Briar May is saying with force. Force the words into his heart. Get under his skin. Make him hear. Lead him out.”

“If he won’t let you do it as a human, you could shift. Make him shift too. Kick his ass in your wolf form. Bite him. Scratch him. Make him hurt. Make him bleed. At least he’ll feel something that way.”

She was slightly alarmed at her sister’s suggestion. “There has to be a middle ground between holding his hand and physically harming him. I don’t want to do that either.”

“Get him to train you. Teach you weaponry,” Zora suggested. “When the winter ever leaves, you could show him our ways. Show him how to plant. How to grow. How to appreciate the things we love in our land.”

“He had an Earthship. He knows more about the land than we could ever imagine. They survived in the desert for generations. We’ve been given land where it’s easy to thrive.”

“Maybe training is still the answer. You could take the boys with you too. Do it after they’re done with school for the day.”

She shrugged, “I know his hands have almost healed, but what if helping me train makes him even more upset. If he realizes he’s not as fast or as skilled as he used to be.”

“You’ll never know until you try,” Zora responded.

She should at least be willing to consider Zora’s suggestion. “Maybe just me first. At least if he’s unresponsive to that, the boys won’t take it personally.”

“It’s like he’s on autopilot,” Briar May said. She was getting that stubborn and determined look she was known for. “Reboot him. If there’s one thing a man is guaranteed to feel, even when he doesn’t want to, it’s desire. He wouldn’t have gone through with the mating if he thought you were a hag. You’re physically pleasing to him on some level. It’s not manipulative to tap into that. You wouldn’t be using your body against him. Bring out the beast in him physically. You’re a wolf. You can handle a little rough play.”

“No! What if he hurts her?” Zora protested.

“He would never hurt me,” Prairie Rose knew without a doubt that was true. The way he’d come to his senses when she’d startled him, showed her that.

“Rough men need a physical outlet. Sometimes it’s the only way they can communicate. They’re not talkers. They’re doers. He’s been removed from one life, violently, and dropped into something completely different.” Briar May knew about this. She was mated to a man who was very much like Agnar.

“Kieran wants to have a community event.” Zora was very good at changing subjects when things got uncomfortable. She was incredibly diplomatic and gentle, wise and understanding. She truly listened. She made a great alpha female, and she reminded Prairie Rose very much of her own mother. “A fire and a run to welcome the newcomers as part of us. They’ll take oaths to the pack. He doesn’t know when to do it. If Agnar doesn’t swear an oath or want to be part of this, he’s worried it will only confuse and hurt the others who still look to him. They recognize Kieran would be their alpha, but Agnar is still a powerful man.”

“He would never do anything to harm this pack or Kieran,” Prairie Rose bit out, still defensive of Agnar even though she was first and foremost a member of the Nightfall Pack and always would be.

“I know. I’m sorry, that’s coming out all wrong. I told him it’s best to do it later, maybe even in the summer. We have time. We can wait. This is a hard and painful adjustment, and no one needs to rush. But what about a family dinner at our cabin? Maybe Mom or Dad could say something, or Kieran, or Castor together? I don’t know. It’s just a thought.”

“I’d love to come for dinner.” She turned and started clearing the trail again, needing to get moving since the numbness was settling into her toes and legs even with heavy clothes and boots on. That said nothing for the restlessness growing inside her. “The boys too. I’ll make sure Agnar comes. It can’t hurt to try.”

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