Page 21 of The Alpha's Arranged Bride

“You don’t just look tired. You look… heartsick.” Zora was at Briar May’s back. Kieran’s mate wore the same worried expression as her sister. “We all know it hasn’t been an easy transition. Three weeks later and the growing pains are still unreal, but at the same time, it’s only been three weeks. That’s no time at all.”

It had been enough time to hastily assemble extra cabins for the new families. They always had a few spares that were freshly built, but the influx of people had filled those. While the rest had stayed at Kieran and Zora’s large cabin because it had so many extra rooms, the pack worked tirelessly assembling new cabins from the lumber and logs that weren’t quite there with their seasoning, but would have to do.

The newcomers, both men and women, had thrown themselves into the building of those cabins. It was something they could do to physically forget their grief.

Reading the thoughts straight off her face, Briar May set her hand gently on Prairie Rose’s shoulder, stopping her along the snowy path she’d been charging through. Exercise was also a way to channel one’s energy, and even though her legs were burning, she appreciated it because it distracted her from the pain in her chest.

“Castor thought Agnar would be out there helping build those cabins. He would never say so to me outright, but I can tell how worried he is about him. You and the boys too, by extension.”

“I understand why he goes to the woods every day and why he stays there.” Zora turned her head up to the treetops like they held answers, and she could commune with them. If anyone could, it was her mom, Brooke, but Zora had gifts that she wasn’t even willing to admit to herself. She was half wolf, but often it seemed that she was the most in touch with nature out of any of them.

“Three weeks isn’t much,” Prairie Rose echoed. “But it’s three weeks into six months. I feel like we have a deadline and it’s going to turn into a death sentence. If I fail, Agnar is going to leave here and find his own demise somehow. He truly believes that’s all there is left for him. I don’t know how to change his mind. I feel like I’m all that stands between him and oblivion.”

Briar May tramped through the snow. All three of them wore black snowsuits, heavy boots, and mittens. Normally, they just donned sweaters and lined wind pants since as shifters they ran hot, but in the last week, the weather had turned biting. It was still snowing every single day anyway. Her sister’s hand settled on her shoulder. “That’s a hard burden to bear, sister mine. Far too heavy.”

“You should talk to my mom,” Zora suggested. She cleared a different path, walking up on the two of them so they were huddled together. The wind whipped through the trees, the sky a leaden gray above them, heavy with low hanging clouds promising yet another afternoon of swirling snowflakes. “As a healer, other people perceive her that way. Like this line that separates them from living and dying. It’s a lot, and she’s had to live with the burden that comes with healing and birthing and guiding people past this life for many years.”

“I never thought about it like that.”

“It’s too much for you,” Briar May insisted. Prairie Rose wanted her to be able to lean on her sister and Castor as well as the rest of their family, but it was just hard. All of it. “You’re trying to help the boys understand why their father isn’t someone they recognize anymore. You’re trying to call him back or build a bridge for them to get to where he is now, but that’s too much for anyone. You need to let us help.”

Prairie Rose studied her black mittens. “I don’t know how. I would if I could, and I truly mean that. I’m not trying to do this alone. It just is a lonely, narrow path.”

Briar May hesitated. She didn’t want to admit that was true, but in the end, she had to. “Castor has tried talking to him. Every day. Kieran too. He’s not having it.”

“He’s shut himself up to endure these six months like a trial. He truly believes that he is nothing. A ghost. That he has nothing left inside him.” In just three weeks, Agnar’s appearance had changed. He’d lost weight and his features had sharpened. The anger and the grief weren’t obvious in his eyes, but the blankness was. He was an empty shell inside and out. “He’s been completely shattered. How do you put someone back together when all you’re holding in your hands is dust, yet they’re right there, alive and breathing?”

Zora hummed under her breath. She looked at her like she was going to shatter into pieces too, and more than anything, Prairie Rose hated that. “Greif lasts a lifetime, and this is grief like he’s never known. Kieran would never get over it if something happened to our pack like that. Your dad wouldn’t have either, no matter how much of a wise and wonderful mate your mom was.”

“I can’t accept that. I can’t believe that this is it.”

“I didn’t mean—”

Briar May interrupted Zora, her expression hardening. “Sometimes, you just have to let go.”

No. No fucking way.

“I’m not letting go,” Prairie Rose hissed. She whipped herself away from both women and gave them her back. She needed to get a handle on the anger born of sheer hopelessness and a heart that just kept breaking down further, but she couldn’t. “You go tell Levi and Blake that their father isn’t worth fighting for. You go tell those two little boys that their dad is going to leave and he’s never coming back. Go explain to them how that’s best for them!”

“I didn’t mean it like that, sweetheart.” Her sister wrapped her arms around her from behind. “I meant, sometimes we have to let go of what we want or what we think is best.”

Prairie Rose let out a massive exhale. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say you’re sorry. You don’t have to be. We’ve all tried talking to Agnar, but what he probably perceives is that we’re just talking at him. Shouting directions to someone who is lost when they don’t know which way is north or south or up or down or where they even are or where they’re supposed to end up when they’re virtually blind and all around them is darkness, isn’t going to help. Maybe what he needs is just silence. Maybe he needs to feelthat we’re all here for him.”

She leaned hard into Briar May, soaking up her warmth. Castor was back at their cabin, watching Sadie while she napped so that they could go on this walk. Levi and Blake were both at school, as were Zora’s twins. She appreciated the companionship and wisdom of these women more than she could ever express.

“I’m sure he does already. He’s choosing to ignore it.”

“I don’t know about that. Don’t be angry with him.”

She turned back to them. Both women shone with compassion and radiated kindness. They didn’t come out here to pity her.

“It’s hard when I want to castrate him every day for the misery I see on my sister’s face,” Briar May admitted. “We were mated on the same day, you and me, Castor and Agnar. I’m happy. I have a healthy mate and a lovely daughter. We’re a family. I have so much love in my life, and it hurts me so much to see this happening to you. I have to stop myself from thinking that Agnar’s heart is so ruined that nothing can grow there again. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but it’s not your responsibility to try to plant in contaminated soil. No one can change anyone. Don’t make the mistake of believing you can and that you failed. You’ll live with that guilt for the rest of your life, and it will eat away at you eventually.”

Briar May was right and what she said was true, but it was hard to hear.

“He doesn’t let me touch him.” That was a painful admission. Never in her whole life had she ever told anyone about anything so private. None of her family or anyone else in the pack knew about Sagen. She’d been young and foolish, and she’d kept her inevitable heartbreak a secret so that her brothers and her dad wouldn’t go out and crack his skull and start a war after he mated someone else. He’d never made her any promises and she had to be mature enough to see that when it ended. He’d never lied to her, never cheated on her. She wanted him and he wanted her. To her, at the time, that was love. To him, it was something else entirely.

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