Page 24 of Blue Moon

“That’s messed up.”

“Her whole damn family was messed up. Her father was a control freak, her mom only cared about money, and her brother…” Ryder shook his head. “He was a sick motherfucker. I thought it was strange that Neve never wanted to be alone with him, but it took six months for her to tell me why.”

A chill ran through me, more of an icy tsunami, really. Ryder’s voice had gone flat, and I understood why. It was the same reason I refused to be alone with Julius.

“He abused her.”

“Since she was a kid. He was six years older.”

“She didn’t tell anyone?”

“She was too scared, and he said nobody would believe her. I tried to get her to go to the police, but she didn’t want to ruin her family name, so we went to her parents instead. And the worst part…” Ryder closed his eyes for a moment. “The worst part is I think they already knew. But it was easier for them to keep quiet and turn a blind eye than to stop it from happening.”

Ryder said I reminded him of Neve, but we had so much more in common than he realised.

“When I told my mom I’d been raped, she convinced me that my career was more important than justice.”

Ryder looked as if he’d been punched, and he lost several shades of colour. “When you told me your mom didn’t go to the police, I thought it was to spare you the ordeal of a trial, not because she decided your career took priority. She…just let it go?”

“Not exactly. She confronted the guy, and he apologised. Said he thought I wanted it.” I gave a hollow laugh. “I was sixteen, and he’d been plying me with cocktails all evening. Anyhow, she promised she’d never leave me alone with him again, and she kept her word on that. I guess that’s partly why I put up with her as my manager for so long—I needed the buffer.”

“You still see that motherfucker?”

“I told you before, he’s a big shot in the music industry. I can’t avoid him.” And I also didn’t want to talk about him, not today. “Did Neve’s parents support her?”

“Her father promised it wouldn’t happen again, but he was angrier with me for stirring up shit than he was with his son. Was it worth it? I thought so at the time. Things settled down. Neve grew happier. We agreed that I’d join the Navy and get through the training so we could be together again as soon as she graduated high school. I wanted to become a SEAL, something that pissed my father off to no end because he’d always assumed I’d follow in his footsteps and command a ship. It was in my blood, he said.”

“I’m glad you became a SEAL. A ship captain wouldn’t have the same intimidation factor.”

“I don’t mean to intimidate you, moon.”

“I meant to other people.”

“Yeah, well, I wish I hadn’t joined the Navy at all. I shouldn’t have left Neve.”

“Her brother didn’t stay away?”

Ryder shook his head. “She told me over the phone what happened, and I came home on leave ready to break that fucker’s face, but he’d gone skiing in Europe. Neve convinced me to go back to Coronado. She said she’d cope, and in a few months, we’d both be free. But…” He bit his lip, steeling himself. “But it didn’t work out that way. You know what Hell Week is?”

“The finale of Miss American Radiance?”

That earned me the tiniest smile. “It’s one of the toughest parts of SEAL training, and it lives up to its name. Five and a half days of endurance challenges on next to no sleep. I survived it because I had to. I’d promised Neve I would. But when I crawled back to my bed to give her the news, I found a voicemail. A goodbye.”

Oh no. A tear trickled down my cheek because I knew what was coming. I knew because I’d been tempted to do the same in the aftermath of Julius. Who would even have missed me?

“She’d found out she was pregnant, and she couldn’t…she just couldn’t cope. Her mother took sleeping pills, and Neve knew where to find them.”

I couldn’t stay in my seat any longer. Yes, I’d told Ryder not to touch me, but he hadn’t said I couldn’t touch him. I hugged him tight and held on as he rested his head on my shoulder, even when I felt the dampness seeping through the fabric of my top.

“I’m so sorry.”

“I couldn’t get there in time. I called the cops, I called her family, but she was already gone.”

In San Gallicano, I’d confessed to Ryder that a man had forced himself on me, and that I’d kept it a secret from everyone except my mom. Then yesterday, I’d left him a garbled, nonsensical voicemail, and when he tried to call me, I was asleep. And afterward, when I’d seen the missed calls, I’d put off getting back to him because I had no idea what to say. Now I understood. I understood why he’d sent a colleague to check on me, why he’d jumped on an airplane when I was less than forthcoming with information.

I hugged him tighter.

“Ryder, I’m not her. I’m not suicidal, I swear. What happened to me, it was a long time ago, and although I’ve had a difficult time this year, I’m actually in a better place.”

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