If possible, the pain increased. My vision was painted in red with black spots floating across my eyes. I threw my head back and yowled, my panther desperate to do whatever he could to ease my anguish from within. Unfortunately, this was my burden to carry, and mine alone.
Vesta’s eyes popped open, and I must’ve been seeing things, because I swore they were glowing with pearlescent light. “Now, push,” Vesta commanded.
Gritting my teeth, I bore down. Tristan recited words in my ear that I assumed were meant to be comforting, but I couldn’t hear past the ringing in my head. Was I engulfed in a fiery blaze? I had to be, but nobody was trying to put me out. Why wouldn’t they put out the fire?! I howled and screamed, and still I burned.
I was torn straight down the middle as our son came into the world, but then, just like that, with a rush, it was over. The pain was just… gone.
I collapsed back onto Tristan’s chest, sobbing and wrung out, and peered blearily down between my legs to where Vesta had caught my baby. “Wha—” I began, panic somehow creeping its way past the exhaustion. There was something wrong. I struggled to sit up.
“What is that?!” Tristan echoed the fear in my head.
“He’s fine,” Vesta soothed. Then she peeled away a layer of tissue from our son’s head, revealing his perfect, tiny face. “Your son was born under a veil,” she explained, “otherwise known as a caul. It’s a piece of the amniotic sac. It’s a very auspicious sign.” She nodded, smiling down at him. “Yes, very lucky indeed.”
As if he wanted to weigh in on this whole experience, our son opened his mouth in a brief cry, waving his itty-bitty fists around. He looked ready to keep going, but Vesta touched her fingertip to his forehead, and his wail tapered off. I knew logically that babies couldn’t see much at birth, but he opened his eyes and blinked up at her, and I swore there was awareness there. The two of them shared a long look, until I noticed a tear drip down from Vesta’s cheek.
“Vesta, are you okay?” I’d never once seen this much emotion from her. She was usually stoic, often cheeky, but never sad.
“Y-yes, of course,” she managed, passing the baby to me. As I nestled him in against my chest, Vesta quickly brushed the tears away, regaining her composure, though I could still see her thoughts were elsewhere. After a moment, she allowed Jude to help her up and lead her over to the kitchen for a cup of tea and some sweet pastries.
I was grateful the rest of the pack gave us space, though I knew they were eager to come meet the new baby. It was strange that Tristan and I had this moment of privacy right here in the middle of the clearing, but it was so perfect. The sun was shining, a light breeze cooling my bare skin, and Tristan’s strength at my back. He peeled off his shirt to wrap around our son while he fed.
“He’s so perfect,” I whispered, my throat still raw from screaming.
“He is,” my alpha agreed, holding his tiny hand up to press a kiss on it. He kissed me next. “You were so incredible. I’m so proud of you.”
The whole thing felt so surreal, even now, mere minutes after it happened. “It was so… weird,” I said, trying to find the words to explain. “The pain was unlike anything I could’ve imagined, but also, it was like I wasn’t even there. Does that make sense? Like, I left my body or something. It was like he…” I laughed, shaking my head. “You’ll think I’m crazy, but I swore I heard him speaking to me.”
“Who? Our son?” I nodded, bracing myself as I waited for him to tease me. Instead, he said, “You’re lucky. I’ll have to wait months until I hear him speak. What did he say?”
“He said he loved us and told me not to be afraid. And… I think he’s a panther, like me.”
Tristan’s arms tightened around us both. “And did he happen to tell you his name?”
I smiled. “No, but I have a feeling Vesta might know it. She knows more than she’s letting on.”
“Agreed. Perhaps we should ask.”
When our son was done feeding and had drifted off to sleep, I passed him off to Tristan for a little bonding time, then I allowed my panther to take his fur. It had been months since I’d shifted, and stretching our limbs felt almost painful, tingly like our feet had gone numb and were just now waking up. The shift allowed my healing to kick in, smoothing over the worst of the remaining soreness.
Tristan knelt down and allowed my beast to nuzzle the baby, gifting him with a lick across the back of his hand. Just a few minutes later, though, I was surprised when my panther handed back my skin.
Not in the mood to run? I asked him.
Vesta, he answered simply. Turned out he wanted some answers too.
My pants were soaked, my shirt torn, so I took a brief moment to go home for a change of clothes. Nobody minded nudity, but I doubted I would ever be totally used to it. Then we joined Vesta at the outdoor table.
She sighed like she knew what was coming and had been waiting for us. “Ask your questions,” she said. She sounded as tired as I felt, her knotted hands wrapped around her mug, eyes downcast.
I didn’t know where to begin. “Did I truly hear his voice inside my head?” I asked.
She smiled sadly and shrugged. “Perhaps. Your son is a very special boy. Who is to say what he is capable of.”
Tristan stiffened beside me and leaned in. “Special how?”
Vesta seemed wary of answering, but she did, nonetheless. “I have lived a long life, far more years than I deserved. At last, my time on this earth is coming to a close. Our forest has never been without a shaman. For as long as wolves have roamed this land, they have had a spiritual guide. Your son…” She paused and brushed her hand gently over the top of his head. “He will be the next guide once I am gone.”
I didn’t know how I felt about this. “B-but he’s just a baby. How can he be anything but that?” I could hear the note of panic in my voice.