Page 33 of The Winning Ticket

We hold gazes for a moment before I realise that the sound of conversation has died down a little. I look towards the lounge and notice that Chris, Morgan and Tara are watching us. While Tara is grinning, Chris and Morgan both look wary. The other three, thankfully, are still engrossed in conversation while watching the TV.

Jake’s eyes follow mine, and he steps away a little, returning to the stove. I continue making the salads and ignore the way my sister is watching us closely.

After we all finished eating and everything was cleared away, we decided to move out onto the terrace. While the others were still inside, I turned on the fairy lights I’d rigged up during the week.

“Wow, Bri, this is gorgeous,” Jake says, standing beside me and looking around at my handy work.

“Thanks! I meant to show you last night, but you fell asleep so early that I forgot.”

He drapes his arm over my shoulder and squeezes lightly. “I love that you’re settling in.” He kisses the side of my temple and heads back inside while the others make their way out, all making appreciative sounds at the sight of all the lights.

I stay where I am for a moment, lightly running a finger over my temple where the skin still tingles.

I’d forgotten how easy things were with Jake and how affectionate he was with everyone. But I am keenly aware that while he will hug the other women in our friendship circle, these little kisses have always been for me only, and I love that.

Eventually, we split into two groups, with some of us heading up to the spa deck to hang out in the warm water while those who don’t feel like getting wet move towards the sun loungers on the terrace. I join Morgan, Tara, and Kylie in the spa, but Annelisa stays with the guys, saying she forgot to bring her swimmers.

“God, this place is heaven. I don’t know why you ever bother leaving,” Tara says, closing her eyes and resting her head against the side of the spa.

“If I didn’t have to go to work, I don’t know that I would, I’ll be honest. It’s been nice just to hide out here this week.”

“Are you okay? I was worried you might be lonely on your own,” Morgan says, looking over at me as I slide down so that all but my head is submerged in the warm water.

“It’s been nice, actually.”

“Yeah? Not overthinking? I’m still worried that you haven’t even really cried.”

“Geez, Morgan,” Tara says quietly, looking over at my sister with her eyebrows raised. “Ease up a little.”

“Thanks, Tara.” I smile at my friend, though that smile drops when I realise my sister is not going to let it go so easily.

“It’s just… I’m worried about you. Maybe you should have stayed with Mum and Dad a little longer,” she says, looking down at the others on the terrace.

Jake has joined them now, and my heart skips a little when I see he’s brought his guitar out. Memories of bonfires during high school parties where Jake sat strumming his guitar and singing all my favourite songs come flooding back. I used to love sneaking into the music room and listening to Jake practice with the guys he’d formed a band with, imagining a future where he’d become a rockstar and I’d be his groupie.

Shaking off the memories, I turn to glare at Morgan. “What you’re really saying is now that Jake is here, you’re worried I’m going to maul your friend in some sort of rebound attempt because I’m not showing any emotion after being dumped spectacularly by the boyfriend that you loathed and told me for years wasn’t right for me,” I say, surprised at the bitterness in my voice.

My sister splutters a response, but I don’t feel like hanging out in the spa anymore.

I hop out, wrapping my towel around me. Tara and Kylie shoot Morgan reproachful looks, but I don’t bother engaging any further and simply make my way inside to put on a dress over my swimmers.

I consider staying in my room, but I know that Morgan would follow me. I don’t want to continue the conversation, so I head back out to join the others on the terrace, sitting beside Jake.

I’m pretty sure I chose my spot purely to piss off my sister, but he smiles at me and keeps strumming away on his guitar while he chats to the others. The guitar is basically just an extension of his body, and I don’t think he’s even aware of what he’s doing, but the music is peaceful, and I let myself drift a little in my thoughts while his soothing music washes over me.

He bumps his leg against mine, and I know he must have noticed the exchange between Morgan and me. Although I hope he didn’t hear what I said. I smile back and shake my head in response to his curious look.

Maybe something is wrong with me, and Morgan is right to worry. I still haven’t allowed myself to think about Richard and the awful way he ended our relationship. Thinking about it won’t do anything for me other than make me miserable, and I don’t want to feel that way anymore. Although Morgan had previously been happy to let me live in denial, over the past few weeks, she’s been focusing on getting me to talk about my feelings more.

I’m so lost in my thoughts that I don’t even notice when Jake puts his guitar down and leans back beside me. Moving his hand behind me and running it absently up and down my back, I freeze, caught off guard, before leaning into his touch. None of the others seem to have noticed while they continue chatting. He is still talking to Chris, Will and Annelisa about work stuff, but I know he’s aware of the comfort he’s providing me. Knowing that he can show comfort without thinking about how it might look to our friends makes me smile a little, wondering what it’s like not to live life constantly anxious about what others might think.

We stay like that for a few hours, and the girls eventually leave the spa to join us. It’s past midnight, and the others start preparing to leave. We walk them to the door and say goodbye.

Once they have all left, Jake silently pulls me into his arms, and I allow him to hold me for a few minutes. His arms tighten around me, and he sighs quietly when I sink further into his embrace. I feel his lips brush against my temple, and I squeeze my eyes shut tight, not ready to let the moment end, while he rubs his hand up and down my back.

After too long, yet not long enough, I eventually pull away and smile up at him before moving towards my room.

“Good night, Little B,” he says quietly, and I look back at him from the doorway.

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