“I’ve waited for this,” he whispered before taking control of the kiss, guiding my mouth to a position where it felt as though our mouths had melded into a position for the most amount of connection. His tongue moved in long strokes, and each time, my hips bucked as though he were fucking me instead of kissing me. Zion grabbed my hips and tucked my groin closer to his.

I threaded my fingers into his thick brown hair and reveled in the silkiness of it. I’d longed to get my fingers in his hair, my hands on those strong shoulders. I’d fantasized about his round ass and his hard cock driving into me over and over both in my sleep and while I was awake.

Zion broke the kiss and moved his mouth to my neck. I leaned my head back, giving him better access while a moan of pleasure escaped my mouth. I was on fire for this man like I’d never been before. My cock bobbed as he nipped at my ear. Derek had never paid attention to the parts of me that were more sensitive than others and up until now, I hadn’t known my ears were one of those places.

The thought of Derek threw ice over me and I started to scramble, moving off of Zion’s lap and across the room where I had to brace myself against the wall for balance.

“Cicek?” Zion said, breathing heavily. The evidence of his need punched against the front of his jeans and gods, it felt good to know he needed me.

Selfish, selfish, hedgehog, making this beautiful bear need me when I knew I would never give in.

My lips felt used in the best way possible and they tingled from the kiss. My entire body buzzed with need for him, while my mind fought against it.

“I can’t do this, Zion. I can’t.” I clenched my shirt in my hands, needing something to hold onto, other than my resolve.

“Can’t do what?” he asked, hurt lacing his tone. This was exactly what I didn’t want to do, hurt this precious alpha. Fuck, what had I done?

“I can’t do this,” I repeated, motioning between us. “I can’t be the omega you want. Having innumerable children and being trapped in a transactional relationship. Under someone’s control. Abandoning myself for everyone else only to be forgotten in return. That won’t be me.”

Zion stood. The hurt on his face drove a stake right into my chest. His eyes shone with unshed tears and when he took a step toward me, I had to take one back or else I would run and throw myself back into his warm arms again. “We’re not all like your other alpha,” he said softly. “I am nothing like that controlling asshole, Cicek. I thought I had proven that to you.”

The lack of anger almost did me in. I had rejected him and yet, he stood, calm and soft as ever, speaking to me gently. There wasn’t a harsh or jagged bone in this alpha’s body. I should’ve known he wouldn’t scold or be mean to me.

“I…I won’t take that chance.” I dared not speak his name. If I did, my sliver of control over myself would surely be shred. “You’ve been very kind to me today and I appreciate your concern but please leave.”

“Cicek,” he started, but I had no intention of letting him finish.

“Please, Zion.” Tears fell the second his name came from my mouth.

“Okay.” Zion whispered the words and without another look at me, opened the door and left. Once the lock clicked, I crumpled to the floor in a heap of anguish. Gods, he was my alpha. He was mine and I’d cut him right to the core.

I curled into myself, trying to hold on to the warmth he’d given to me, letting his scent soothe me.

It was all I could ever have of him.

Chapter Thirteen

Zion

Despite being kicked out of Cicek’s house, I couldn’t just leave him to face his future alone. It was imperative that he know he had support, moral, physical, financial—anything he needed that I could provide. No strings attached. The previous night, he’d insisted I leave and just about accused me of being as bad as his ex, as any other alpha, but I didn’t take it to heart. Well, I did…and sleep was long in coming, but this morning, I recognized that nobody could be held to anything they said under such severe stress.

What would I do in his position? As an alpha, I wouldn’t be pregnant, but I hoped I had enough empathy to imagine myself in someone else’s position. His former alpha had to have been completely horrible to have him so upset, and so adamant that he would insist on living alone and raising his child without help. His tirade was light on details but heavy on emotion, and my bear was ready to go find this alpha and end him.

Cicek was a strong, independent omega, and most of what I’d picked up about his former relationship and living situation had been in bits and pieces, tiny clues in conversation. Until last night when he spilled more in his frustration and protectiveness over the babe in his belly.

He had said more than once in the past that he didn’t plan to mate again or have children, so this was not planned—at least by him. Yet, he was already trying to find the best path both for him and the baby.

I’d have to work hard to keep my bear, who wanted his mate, at bay, but he would have to accept the place in Cicek’s life he might grant us. Supportive friend, if nothing changed. He’d need someone in that position, no matter how difficult it might be not to press for more. As I thought these things over, I measured out oatmeal and added whole milk to the pot. Then I made a quick cup of coffee in the single cup maker and settled down for the few minutes it would take for the porridge to cook. I loved steel-cut best, but they took a good half hour, and this morning, I did not want to take the time.

When the oatmeal was thickened, I spooned it into a bowl and added topping. The very best part of eating hot cereal. At this time of year, the farmer’s market was loaded with sweet, ripe fruit and I had overbought on my last trip. No worries, though, I piled raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, and a sliced peach on my cereal and drizzled local amber honey over the whole thing before digging in. I had a lot to do today, and fuel was imperative. I used my breakfast eating time to do a little research as well.

As I scraped up the last bite, I wondered if the omega liked this sort of breakfast. It might be a little heavy if his stomach was still off, but I could ask. For this morning, I had a different list, though, and with time ticking away, I needed to get to the grocery store if I wanted to open my shop on time.

Phone in hand, I marched up and down the aisles, pushing my cart, which was rapidly filling. On shifter social media, I had fallen down the rabbit hole of what omegas liked or needed early in pregnancy. Obviously, different animals varied in some cases, and I didn’t run across any hedgehogs specifically, but certain items appeared over and over, so those were the ones on my list.

Ginger ale and some ginger chews went into the cart first, apparently a magical ingredient for any tummy issues in general. Then I went to the dairy aisle and bought cottage cheese and yogurt, easy to digest and high in protein. Saltines and Club crackers. High in carbs and low in fat was also a theme with rice mentioned, so I bought some of the microwavable envelopes that took only ninety seconds. Nothing too spicy, just plain rice and some made with chicken broth. Pasta also came the same way, easy to prepare and easy on the tummy.

Everyone talked about not getting dehydrated, so I bought some flavored waters and juices that might appeal. It didn’t take long before my cart was piled high, and I hesitated, considered putting things back so I didn’t overwhelm Cicek, but ended up adding a small watermelon and some cucumbers, both high in water and refreshing, instead.