Page 5 of Saving Helena

A few of them passed around my diploma as if it were themost significant accomplishment in the world. One set of eyes seemed to be boring a hole into the back of my head while I ate my cake.

“Helena, what on earth did you do to Maddox? He looks pissed,” Amber slid an extra piece of strawberry cake my way, peeringover my shoulder.

It had been a struggle not to look, but I feltsatisfiedknowing I had been right.Hehad been looking at me. Shrugging, I mumbled around the mouthful of cake, “Dunno.”

“I hope he’s not interested in you,” she said pensively. “He’s way too old for you. And you’re not even legal yet. You’ll turn eighteen in a month, but your dad would flip out.” She looked worried.

Looking up at her in alarm, Igripped her arm. “He’snot.” Making eye contact with her, I repeated: “He’s not.I knowhe is not interestedin me at all, Amber.Don’t ever say that. Ever.”

She looked startled but bobbed her head. Removing my hand, Ireturnedto take a few bites of the strawberry cake she’d made, but my mood had fizzled. No way would a man like Maddox have any interest in a kid like me. He was ten years older than me — eleven, maybe? Not that I cared about that sort of thing, but I knew he did, which was depressing.

“Thanks for the cake,” I said, trying tocompensatefor the attitude. “I appreciate it. It’s amazing in all its strawberry deliciousness.”

Giving her a smile and a hug, I tried to inject proper enthusiasm and warmth into my goodbyes,ignoringahulking man sitting in the club’s shadowy back corner.

If Amber had told my dad about Maddox’s interest in me, it would have been a big problem for both of us, so it’d be better for everyone if that never happened.

Once, years ago, when I was younger (and dumber), I had tried flirting with a club member, and the poor kid had up and disappeared. Dimitri. I liked him a lot. I still wasn’t sure what had happened to him.He had even been patchedinto the Brotherhood but had just been gone one day.I was positive that it was my fault. So, if my father got wind of Maddox ‘liking’ me or if I flirted with a club member, that was not a good idea. I knew better now.

Lying in bed that night, I thought about my future and the years stretching outbeforeme. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.Thinkingabout leaving Haverboro, my dad, and the MC was scary, but maybe it was a good thing. Growing up in Haverboro was hard. A lot of kids had wanted to hang out because I knew members of the MC or whose parents kept them away because of it. In the end, having friends wasn’t easy and forget having boyfriends. Even losing my virginity had been a disaster. I’d found a boy one town over who’d been very willing but obviously wasn’t too experienced, and it ended up being rushed and disappointing. The whole time I’d thought about Maddox Bishop, too, and damned him to hell.

I reminded myself that college was supposed to be exciting, though– yes, thrilling. Anyway, I wouldn’t be that far.My dad promised to visit me severaltimes every month to ensureI didn’t get homesick.He’d made me promise to give college a solid try.

Squishing into the mattress, I settled myself into the sheets, pulling my comforter over me. I decided it’d be fun inPhoenix.

Closing my eyes, I fell asleep, letting myself dream a little; theonly problem was that I saw a hulking blond god with tattoos and a beard who was way out of my reach – a fantasy.

CHAPTER SIX

Maddox – 33

Watching herleavethe car, I took in this version of Helena. She strode confidently towards me, her steps measured and purposeful in high heels that elongated her legs. The sleek black stilettos complemented the bare expanse of her legs, drawing the eye up to the curve of her hips hugged by a black pencil skirt. She was wearing somekind ofblack knit sweater. Her hair was twisted into some complicated style, so it was constrained and hidden, a departure from the carefree tangle of curls. There were even pearls at her throat and ears. Gone were the origami birds and blue pterodactyls. She looked – grown up in these clothes.

Helena graduated from college in Tempe this year with an accounting degree. Her father was so proud of her, but hehadn’thad any of the club members go to the graduation, and she had never returned to the club. Roscoe would visit her there several times a month, taking her to dinner or a movie.

He would report back to us, braggingand telling us aboutHelena’sgrades, classes, friends, andtriumphs.Sometimes, he’deven rage when Helena called him upset about something that had happened, but that was rare. Shewasn’tthe type to call home to Daddy crying.

I had tried not to delve deeper into the mysteryofHelena Marsh, locking down hard on the itch I felt to find out everything I could about her, but itwasn’t easy. Initially, when she left for college in Tempe, I’d settled into a routine. Once a week, I’d allow myself to drive by the campus just as a precaution to make sure that she was safe.

I’d glimpse her honey-colored ponytail bouncing as she walked to class, backpack slung on her shoulder. Suddenly, the girl with no friends was inundated with a flock of girlfriends by her side as she walked to and fro. She’d worn ribbons in her hair and laughed effortlessly as she chatted. Perhaps Roscoe had been right — the move was good for her.

After a year, that hour was no longer enough. Maybe I took an extra ride through Tempe. Even if I did, I would never tell anyone that I sat on a street like a stalker.

Today, that bright, glittery girl’s face was pale and drawn, making her eyes even bluer than usual. Even in grief, she was beautiful.

“Hello, Maddox. It’s nice to see you again. Thank you for handling the details. I appreciate it.”

Her small hand fit in mine as she approached the gravesite.I shivered as our palms touched. This was the first time I’d ever touched her. The fact that it was the day of her father’s funeral did not escape me.

We’ddiscussed it over the phone, but she said shecouldn’tarrive until today.I was surprisedthat she had waited until the last minute to show up for Roscoe’s funeral.However,Ididn’t need her to do anything, so it didn’t matter. The viewing of thebodyandthe details of thefuneralwere all things I could handle.

“Of course.”My response was automatic as I fell into place beside her.“Happy to do it.”

Moving with her towards the gravesite, I squared my shoulders. Setting my hand on the small of her back, I ushered her toward the group of men and women and the rectangular box that seemed too small to hold thesignificantlife that once was Roscoe Marsh.

Even the sun that shone from the Arizona sky seemed dull and hazy today. Clouds uncharacteristically blew across the sky, so that was something. At least Arizona was mourning, too.

I loved that man. He had helped me battle through a severe depression afterI’dleft the military, giving me focus and drive.While this was a hard loss for me, I knewit was nothing comparedto the loss for Helena.He was the only parent that she had known.He’dconfided once in me over a bottle of Jack Daniel’s thatHelena’smom left the hospital when Helena was only a day old and never looked back.

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