Page 31 of Settle Down, Princess

“You’re a fucking prick. I know the palace made you hard but—”

“If you want her to cut you, bleed you, and then slick your cock with it before you plunge it inside the princess, then ask her.” I stepped closer, getting right into his face. “Ask her. See what she says. Get an honest response. Of horror.” He flinched as if slapped, a reaction only a handful of people ever saw. Silas wore heavy armour around everyone else, but I knew where the chinks were, just as he knew mine. “Of resignation, perhaps. Or worse…”

He was breathing harder and faster, and his hands formed fists that he wanted to punch into my face to silence me. But you didn’t survive for as long as he had in the hierarchy of the Thieves’ Guild by giving into your impulses like that, which was the lesson for him in all of this.

“Maybe she’d fucking love the intimacy of hurting you as you begged her to do more, your lifeblood on her fingertips, coating her lips as she brings you to the most perfect climax. And right as you spend all over your belly, your head will clear, and you’ll look at her and know.”

My hands went out by my side in an attitude of surrender as I stepped away.

“You’ll know, then, that she’s perfect for you. The only woman in the world who’ll not only tolerate your kinks but be right there with you, ready to dive deep in every pleasure you could imagine.”

I twisted away, not wanting to hear what he had to say or see his response. My fingers found my father’s ring, twisting it around and around. The hell I described? I knew it well. I’d brought six noble-born women to their deaths and each one of them weighed heavily on my soul: the ones who had cried and begged for mercy, the ones who’d sat there like stones the entire journey, meeting their fate clear-eyed, or already broken. But seeing them all go to their fate had not been the destiny that I’d known when I lost her.

When I closed my eyes, I still saw the lady of Fallspire’s smile. It wasn’t hard to conjure, for the ghost of it rose unbidden. I saw it any time things were quiet, when we were riding, especially on the road to her father’s duchy, but I hadn’t expected to see it the night I took Jessalyn down to the docks.

My intention had been to gather my men, divest Jessalyn of her jewels and pearls, then return them and her to the palace. I’d thought I would let her experience just a moment of self-determination, where she thought she could escape her fate, then make clear how impossible that was. Instead when she’d handed over the pearl, demanding to be served beer and roseblood, I’d seen another girl with just as impudent a smile, and I changed my plans.

Ariel…

Her name, whispered inside my mind, was a surprising thing. I hadn’t thought it for such a long time because it was a spell that summoned it all. The pain, the anguish, of dreaming of standing beside her in the great nave, swearing to always love, cherish, obey, worship. Anything for Ariel…

“I’ll take first watch,” I told Silas, not turning around to look at him. “I won’t be able to sleep…”

I stopped myself. I didn’t owe Silas or anyone an explanation and giving them invited conversation. I found a spot right on the edge of camp, pulled my sword from its scabbard, grabbed my sharpening stone, and began working it along the blade in silvery strokes, over and over. The movement became meditative.

Ariel…

Her name had been a blessing on my lips, but was now a curse, one I repeated over and over to remember exactly why indulging in soft thoughts with women was never wise. So why did I find that I had to say it again and again, with growing emphasis, as I watched the tiny princess sleep?

Chapter 19

We would be stopping at a village today.

I’d adopted a whiney tone, complaining long and hard to Arik about the conditions and how difficult it was to sleep outdoors. It wasn’t entirely fiction. I had insect bites down my arms, marring the clear skin my mother had made me work so hard to preserve. That and the thought of a warm bath was so alluring I’d have done almost anything to get it. He’d tried to ignore me as he re-saddled his horse in terse little movements, but I had persisted beyond the point where his breath was coming in short, choppy inhalations. My continued pushing had success when he whirled around to face me.

“We’re going to a settlement today, Princess.” He used my title with such scorn, but I relished every moment of it. “I’m fairly sure it won’t be up to your perilously high standards, but you’ll have four walls to sleep within tonight.”

“A private room?”

My tone was withering, in my best imitation of my grandmother, and he shook his head in irritation.

“I’ll do what I can to make that happen because, gods know, none of us want to sleep next to you.”

But they did. Mother and Grandmother’s scheme had some merit to it. Men seemed terribly receptive to a gentlewoman’s touch. Creed had brought me tea in bed when I first woke up and Roan had checked me over, far too closely, to ensure I was still unharmed. Then Silas had appeared at my side, wanting to further my education in knife play.

“It won’t help you against a catamount,” he said, “but there are other dangers you may face. It’s a crime that they don’t teach you basic self-defence in Stormare.”

“We are taught to believe the men of the capital are all the protection we need,” I said, linking my arm in his. “But if you think I need more tuition, perhaps you could pass the time with me in my carriage, rectifying this deficiency?”

The sound of Arik’s growl of frustration was music to my ears as Silas escorted me to my carriage.

Which is how, some hours later, I came to be launching myself at the man, knife in hand.

“Nope, too far to the right. And your shoulder lifted, making clear what you intended to do,” he drawled, catching my arm by the elbow before I even got close.

“Of course I lifted my shoulder!” I snapped, feeling hot, tired, and irritated with my lack of progress. I hadn’t even gotten close to stabbing Silas, and I wanted to more with every second of this training. “You said to make an overhead strike. How do I do that without lifting my shoulder!”

“You have to lift your shoulder, but you need to force yourself to do that in the last moment. Come at me.” I rose from the carriage seat, my eyes burning as I stared down at him. “Now, in this sort of environment, you could do several things. Shift with the sway of the carriage.” I blinked, because currently my hand was pressed hard against the ceiling to keep myself upright. “Feel the rhythm, find your balance and stop fighting the way it sways and move your body with it.”

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