Page 18 of Settle Down, Princess

“I was sure Magnus would call for another girl from Gravennia,” Grandmother said, shaking her head.

“And she would’ve been prepared to perform the duties of an assassin in my stead?”

I was on the edge of hysteria—my tone made that obvious—but I could not seem to keep the feeling down. It bubbled up inside of me, each terrible thought popping, only to be replaced by another and another.

“All of the noble-born girls in that country had begun their training,” Grandmother said, her eyes narrowing as she stared at me, like she had somehow found me lacking. “But Magnus, the canny bastard, has to have anticipated there would be a response.”

“So my husband-to-be will know I’m trying to kill him?”

My voice was so shrill it cut through the relative peace of the temple, echoing off the stone walls with their carefully painted murals.

“We’ve told you often that Khean is a viper’s pit, Jessalyn,” Grandmother said, “and what do vipers do?”

“They bite,” Mother answered for me when I failed to respond. “But you needn’t walk into this cesspool unprepared. There are instructions in the bag, everything you need to know. You must read it on the way to Khean, memorise every word, and then burn all traces of the plot before you reach the capital walls.”

“And my escort…?” I asked dully, my horror having been replaced by something cold and hard. Although roseblood had made me burn so brightly last night, it felt like all the light inside me was now dimmed. “What if they discover my reading material?”

“As we said, you must make them somehow complicit in your crime,” Mother said, but my grandmother smiled slowly as she stepped closer.

“The advice would’ve been the same, no matter who you were sent to marry. Going to your bridal bed untouched benefits no one. Virginity is an encumbrance.” I let out a gasp at that. “One best got rid of as quickly as possible.”

I gaped openly now, unable to believe what she was saying.

“But my wedding night… The sheets…”

“There are ways around—” Mother said.

“All of that is in the instructions as well,” Grandmother said, her eyes gleaming. “We’ve seen your escort and so have most of the women in the castle. They’re handsome devils, every single one of them. Decide on which one you like best and divest yourself of your virginity at your earliest possible convenience.”

“You should make him aware of the honour you give him,” Mother said. “Tie him to you that way.”

“Yes, yes, there’s nothing men like more than a blushing virgin overcome with passions only he can stir,” Grandmother responded, tapping her bottom lip, then turning back to me. “But don’t let yourself be constrained to sleeping with just him. Take them all to bed if they’re pleasant enough.”

“The king’s own men…?!”

“A woman needs allies, protectors, wherever she goes,” Mother said, taking my hands, and for the first time this morning, I felt like I was talking to the woman who’d raised me. “Men form bonds of loyalty based on fellowship, on friendship or because it’s beneficial. Women—”

“Must use the one thing they need most from us.” My grandmother’s eyes slid down my body, pointedly looking at my rumpled state and making clear she knew exactly how I’d become so dishevelled. “They deny themselves the pleasures of sex between two men, so they’re forced to come panting around our skirts to assuage their needs. Seduce each and every one of your guards, Jessalyn, because if you are to do this, you will need men who are loyal only to you.”

“Strong men.” Mother squeezed my hands. “Champions who will fight to the death for your honour. It’s what Sir Jerod has done for me in the past.” I remembered the duels the knight had fought on the jousting grounds, simply for the honour of claiming Mother’s favour. But I was pulled back to the here and now when she lifted her hand to place it against my cheek and I felt it tremble. She looked deep into my eyes. “You are beautiful, my daughter, and accomplished and smart—so very smart. You’ll be the one to bring this bastard down.”

“This is the way of women.” My grandmother’s hands wrapped so tightly around her cane her swollen knuckles turned white. “We are denied all legitimate avenues of power, so we must use whatever illegitimate ones we can discover in order to ensure our own safety. This is a heavy duty we place upon you, Jessalyn, but if you succeed…”

“You will become Queen of Khean in truth,” Mother said, a radiant smile on her face. “You’ll live a long and fruitful life.”

But not happy, that was what she left off. Not happy. I’d still be stuck in the viper’s pit they spoke of, but I’d be the queen viper instead of a dead one.

“And if I refuse?” My voice broke on the words. I turned to look at the doorway, pulling away from Mother’s hands as I took a half-step toward it. “If I leave? If I go down to the riverboats and—”

“We told your father you needed to perform a vigil at the Temple of the Women to prepare yourself for this honour,” Mother said flatly. “He has sent men down to the waterfront, to the markets, all over the capital, to ‘guarantee your safety.’ After he had word that you’d run from the throne room, he realised that there was a risk you’d flee and he took the necessary precautions to ensure a war doesn’t break out between Khean and Stormare.” I looked back at her to see her lips thin. “You’re going, Daughter, one way or the other. The way we are proposing at least ensures your survival.”

I nodded, slowly at first, then much faster as my mind began to race. I was like a rat in a maze, ready to do anything to get out, but unable to do so in such a confined space. My hands formed fists as tears filled my eyes though they didn’t fall.

Last night had passed in a strange kind of haze. I’d felt hope and wonder, desire and need, and then something truly magical: I’d felt free. Free to do as I willed. Free to take my pleasures where I found them. I wanted to put my hands around that flickering flame of liberty, sheltering it from the storms of reality.

I did not know the finer details of the plan my mother and grandmother had concocted, but I was resolute that I would twist it, change it, and do whatever it took to experience that feeling again. Freedom.

“If I do this,” I said, and they both took in a breath of relief, “I have one proviso.”

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