Page 156 of Settle Down, Princess

“What happened before.” I stiffened as she said those words, imagining for a second that she saw straight into me, seeing all my sins stacked up together, but it was only the ones we created with each other that she saw now. “Lying to me. Tricking me. Making me feel like you were escorting me to my death.”

He nodded, real pain in his eyes.

“Every hurt we caused when we had no business doing such a thing.” He pulled back and clasped her wrist in his, almost marvelling at the slender length of it, but I was willing to bet it was easier tracing the swirl of her veins up and down her arm than it was to look into her eyes and say this. “To admit what we know is true.” His eyes flicked up to meet hers. “We could bring you the head of the king and we still wouldn’t be worthy of you.”

She straightened, no longer the girl whose pulse fluttered under my grip, but a princess. No, a queen. “Perhaps you should do that first and let me decide whether you’re worthy of me or not.”

“Tomorrow?” Roan was a massive figure on her left, but his voice had something of his nephew’s tone to it right then. “Gods, lass, I promise if I get a good night’s sleep, I’ll slay all your enemies. A good night’s sleep and this…”

He tilted her head his way, but her grip on Silas didn’t loosen, just as mine didn’t on her. We were all perfectly attuned in that moment, almost able to feel her kiss on our lips as Roan pressed his mouth against hers.

No, not perfectly attuned.

Creed’s absence was part of the pain we described. Nothing would bring my brother down, I had to believe that, but it was hard. With every day he was away, that ache grew, which was perhaps why we drew closer now. Watching Roan plunder Jessalyn’s mouth slowly, as if he wanted to learn every quirk of it, a pack of hungry boys waiting for their taste. Something she noted when she pulled away, her eyes sparkling as she gazed up at each one of us.

That was the girl I remembered from the stews in Stormare. One who had decidedly tossed aside everything she’d been taught and just wanted to grab what life had to offer with both hands. A hunger that was a perfect match for our own, her hands sliding into Silas’ hair before she kissed him again, my heart clawing its way into my throat when she turned to me.

But would she keep turning towards me when she knew…?

My past, Fallspire, and all the hell I’d been through threatened to shoulder forward, shoving the two of us apart, but I resisted that pull. Here, I wanted to be here. Feeling her body pressed against mine, her fingers so tiny as I forced my own between them, and when I closed my hand around hers, she gripped me right back. A small wince ruined the moment, resulting in me snatching my hand back, all three of us cradling her palm in ours.

“You opened that cut again, brother,” Roan told me with a dark look.

“And how did you cut yourself in the first place?” Silas’ voice was cool, his inspection of the wound almost clinical. “I taught you the correct grip.”

“Which works very well if you’re focused on what you’re doing.” Jessalyn drew her hand towards her chest, but we couldn’t seem to allow that. Our hands went to her shoulders, her arms, stroking her like we might a flighty horse. “I admit I had my eye on the door, not expecting anyone to come knocking at this time of night. I reached for the knife by feel rather than with my eyes and learned a lesson.”

Silas’ jaw tightened, the ticking of the muscle there the only indication of his response.

“Always keep your eye on your blade.” He took on the tone of a weapons master, instructing a student. “Let it stay on the floor and step around it if you can’t pay the correct attention to it. Practice is good.” He glanced at the chopping board hanging on the back of the door. “Though that thing will ruin the point.”

“So what should I be aiming my knife at?”

She asked that in a light enough tone, putting her injured hand on her hip as she sported an impudent smile, but all the colour drained from my brother’s face. If any other woman asked, he’d have informed them of their options in cool tones, but he was never able to maintain his mask around Jessalyn for long. His Adam’s apple bobbed furiously as he swallowed then blinked. I felt Roan stiffen and I was doing the same damn thing, my already racing pulse picking up.

Silas was right, there was so much in this room besides the four of us, not just the absence of Creed. My history, Roan’s fears and impatience, and Silas’… Silas’ true self that so very rarely was allowed to surface. It made sense that it would be now he would reveal it. Before it’d only been with playmates carefully vetted, the whole process a deliberately negotiated transaction, but Jessalyn… She looked like a princess, but really she was a siege engine, destroying our delicately constructed walls with no more thought than we each gave breathing.

“Me,” he said finally, his smile full of sadness. “You should turn your blade on me.”

Chapter 90

Jessalyn

“You should turn your blade on me.”

Silas’ words hit me hard, drawing a gasp from me as if the blow was a physical thing, but why? I remembered exactly how he’d responded when he was showing me how to use a knife in the first place. I’d even tested the nature of that interest, pressing my fingers into the cut on his leg back at the inn, so it made sense that we were here.

That didn’t make it any easier to stare into his eyes now.

Each one of them wore masks around me, some like Arik sporting more than one. Even Creed was both wolf and man, but Silas… What was Silas? Only one way to find out. I jerked the knife from my thigh sheath, his eyes following the movement like it was the sinuous shift of a whore’s body undulating against his. His breath came in faster, the green of his eyes almost swallowed by the black of his pupils, but as I came closer, a hand shot out to stop me.

“This isn’t something you need to engage in.” Roan stared at me earnestly. “Silas likes… some dark things, but you needn’t get your hands dirty with them.”

I smiled then, hearing all the concern my father, the men at court, used to espouse, thinking they were keeping me safe. Trouble was, the moment I pulled off that veil, I made clear I’d happily trade safety for… well, anything else.

“Don’t I?” My thumb slid up the hilt of the knife, and I heard the hiss of Silas’ breath. “And what would you propose, Master Roan? That I tie myself to the four of you and he… what? Slips from my chambers, down through the streets to some corner to find some girl who can give him what he really needs.” My jaw locked tight, able to see it clearly. It took the sensation of my teeth grinding together to finally stop me, my head shaking from side to side. “No, no, that won’t do.” My head whipped around, my eyes finding Silas’. “Tell me you’re mine.”

“Gods, lass, I am, body, mind, and soul,” he told me. “Wholly and solely. I can’t abide the thought of another woman touching me—”

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