Chapter 87
Roan
“We should return to the palace,” Arik said.
We’d spent one long, shitty day going over things with the duke’s hunters and horsemen. Plans within plans, so convoluted my hand strayed to my sword, just wanting to cut through them, but eventually the prince decided he was satisfied. Another night at the estate, with Arik falling into bed before the sun went down, exhaustion finally hitting him hard, but then it was a long day and a half riding back. The sun was turning the palace blood red as we arrived at the gate, but my horse didn’t clop towards it. Instead, he veered off to the left.
Probably because that’s where I was directing him.
“Where the hell are you going?” Arik asked. “We need to deliver the news to the king.”
“You do.” I paid them no mind, the heavy weight of the long ride falling off me with every step the horse took closer to the temple. “I need to see Jessalyn.”
“But the plan—”
“Once we start this…” No, it was too late for that. Conspiring with a bloody duke and his lords, hoping each one of them hadn’t sent a raven back to the palace, warning the king of our treachery–I shook my head to dislodge that thought. “I need…” Pain rose, one that was so alien to me I didn’t know what it was the first time I felt it. Life was just a shift fight you fought your way through, but now. I saw her in my mind then, golden and so fucking beautiful. “I need her. Princess, queen, Jessalyn.”
I glanced back at the castle, watching the sun drop lower and lower in the sky.
“Everything might go to plan and we’ll finally be free…” I couldn’t finish that sentence because imagining that was a step too far. “Or it might all go to shit.”
“We might already be betrayed.” Silas appeared by my side, shooting Arik a long look. “One of those lordlings might have turned Vatarion on us. Guards might be waiting to escort us to The Tower. No, we likely wouldn’t even warrant that. We probably would just be stabbed in the back the minute we walked down the hall, but…”
Nothing fazed my brother, ever. He could be smart or sarcastic, but he never expressed an emotion without some forethought, so it felt like I was seeing beyond the mask now.
“I can’t walk into that place without seeing Jessalyn again.” He bit off each word. “I can’t. I’ve walked past brutality, and cruelty, and repellent behaviour that would make even my father blanch, but I can’t, Arik, not without seeing her.” His hand rose up, clawing at his chest, a single button popping off and rolling free. “She’s like a candle flame that I hold in my heart, and it flickers and flickers, threatening to blow out every time we enter that place.”
He stared into Arik’s eyes.
“I need her, and I think you do too.”
Arik nodded sharply.
“We need to ensure my brother hasn’t taken—” he replied coolly.
“No,” I said.
“Magnus might’ve—”
“No,” Silas replied, just as firmly. “It’s time to stop lying to yourself, brother. To my shame, we didn’t do this for any of the other princesses. There’s a reason we go to these lengths for Jessalyn.” Arik hadn’t completely lost that haunted look, despite the fact Fallspire was far behind us, but some of the shadows under his eyes faded as he stared at Silas. “I’m too fucking tired to pretend it’s for anything other than her. The king does need to know about the stag. We do have to kill the fucking bastard, but before that…” Silas rose up in his saddle and my own body locked tight, knowing what was coming. “Race you.”
To Jessalyn, that’s what burned in my chest. I apologised to my horse, right as I kicked him into a canter. We went sailing forward, the darkening streets fairly empty but people knew to get the hell out of our way as we raced onward. The closer we got, the faster I wanted to push my steed, but when we clattered up to the gate, several sisters were there, about to lock up.
“Good sirs,” an older woman said, taking a look at me as I dropped down from the saddle, “the temple is closed. And in any case, we do not allow men within our walls.”
“You will us.” Silas was uncharacteristically abrupt. “Fetch my sister, Selene.”
The younger woman went to do just that, but the older woman stared us down.
“This place is a sanctuary for women. The goddess herself—”
“Was a woman of noble birth who created this religion when she saw a need for a sanctuary to keep women safe and couldn’t find any way to do so that men would allow but this,” Silas said. I blinked, having no idea that’s what the temple was. It was always talked about in mysterious terms as the women in my life made clear what happened within the walls was none of my business. “If you don’t want that information circulated near and far, summon my sister.”
“This might not be wise, brother,” Arik said.
“I don’t care.”
I stared at Silas, hearing the need and the desperation in his voice and nearly crying at the sound of it. Finally, someone was admitting what I knew to be true. Jessalyn held us in the palm of her tiny, little hand, and all the plans and bullshit in the world made no sense whatsoever without her. I needed to know she was safe, well, unharmed, but better than that, happy. If I could just have that, I could go back to my shitty guard’s room and listen to Arik snore all night.