Page 132 of Settle Down, Princess

She faced Desiree.

“You’ll be expected to send word to the temple that you need one of the sisters to attend to you. Say that one of your children is ill or something and I’ll come to minister to them.”

“Benny has a snot nose,” Desiree admitted, raking a hand through her flame bright hair. “Has for weeks. It’s turned the most peculiar shade of green.”

“A happy coincidence then. I’ll bring some expectorants and something to dispel the infection,” Selene informed her. “The rest of the plan can be discussed there, where there are considerably fewer witnesses.”

“Witnesses?” Roan snapped. “Plan?” He shook his head sharply. “No, no, no—”

“Yes.” I watched Selene stand up to the tall warrior, trying to memorise her stance and her tone of voice, because the woman had all of the queenly command I’d longed to master. “Someone’s sister, mother, or even lover must be the one to put this plan into place. You blather on about wanting to kill the damn king. Well, how did you think that would go? You’d just stride into the throne room and lop his damn head off?”

But that’s exactly what we wanted. Roan’s eyes found mine across the small circle.

“If that’s what it takes. To keep Desiree safe. To keep Jessalyn…” His lips pressed together, that cunning tongue flicking across the bottom. “To stop that prick from getting his hands on you. I’d do it the next time I see him sit his lily white arse on that throne.”

“And how long will your head sit on your shoulders?” I asked, and once I found my voice, I didn’t want to stop talking. “You want to protect me from the king like you did that catamount?”

I blinked, feeling a terrible pressure in my eyes as I saw it, his heroic leap into the water, the cat’s snarling head falling into the water, unable to snap those jaws down on me. But it wasn’t hard to see my head, his, Silas’ or Arik’s doing the same thing. Sneezing into a basket that horrid woman had called it and to my horror, I felt my throat closing up, clogging with tears. At the thought of my own execution I assured myself.

“If that was the way, you would’ve done it before this.” I glanced at Silas, then Arik, each man standing taller when they had my attention. “Any one of you has reason enough to want to cut the king’s head off, but you didn’t.” Gods, my voice started to quaver and Silas took a step forward, but I shook my head. “You didn’t, so you’ll have to reconcile yourself to the fact this is something better done by women.”

I felt some of Selene’s imperiousness in my spine then, or my mother’s.

“We are overlooked, dismissed, assumed to be compliant, and then beaten if we aren’t. We are the best placed to slip something past the king’s defences.”

“And vulnerable.” Arik bit those words off. “Don’t forget vulnerable. We won’t be with you.” His focus shifted almost reluctantly to Desiree. “With either of you if this is what you choose to do.”

“Does one ever choose to do anything when the Raven has his fingers in the pie?” Selene said. “Stop talking as if there is a choice to be found in any of this. Desiree, call on me soon. Tonight if you can.”

“Of course, Sister.” All the fire seemed to have gone out of Desiree then as she bent her head, bobbing Selene a quick curtsey, but it returned soon enough when she looked sideways at her brother. “But I’ll be talking to you sooner.” She offered him her arm. “It seems like you’ve got a bit to catch me up on. A princess and the king’s intended? What were you thinking, Roan?”

“I wasn’t.” I needed to look away when Roan’s gaze bore into mine. I needed to pull away from this intimate moment that should only be shared by family members. “Creed warned me, told me it would happen when we created a pack together, but I didn’t really believe him. That one day a girl would walk into my life and it’d feel like the whole world had stopped spinning on its axis, that it wouldn’t start again until she said so. That I’d screw up, fail her.” Desiree let out a hiss. “But in the end one thing would remain. A need to prove that I was worthy of her, all the while knowing I wasn’t.”

I didn’t expect him to step free of his sister, to come closer. I definitely didn’t expect to want to move closer myself, instead belatedly taking a much more appropriate step back. While it was hardly likely there were spies for the king down here, if there was, they’d report back our proximity and the intensity of our gazes.

“I’ll kill him for you,” Roan promised, even as I made a small sound of protest. “I will. I don’t even care if I die doing it.” He blinked, as if surprised to be saying those words, but he rallied quickly. “I’d be glad to.”

My sigh came from the depths of my soul, as if there was air there that had been held in my lungs since the moment I left my homeland.

“If only you knew how much I needed to hear you say that.” I forced myself to smile. “Needed. The scared little girl that had been protected by her parents from the harshness of the world wanted a champion so very much.”

That careless smile, I hadn’t realised how much I missed seeing it. My fingers twitched, wanting to feel the rough texture of his reddish stubble and then trace that impudent curve, but instead my hands formed fists.

“But I’m not that girl anymore. You tore away all of my illusions.” I hated the wrench I felt when that smile faded. “You made me aware of all of the very real dangers that abound, but I learned something for myself.”

Silas’ mouth twisted slightly, his eyes shining bright, as if somehow I’d done something to please him greatly, but it was Arik’s gaze mine locked with.

“That you’ll never have the safety, the security you crave unless you grab it with both hands. You’ll only ever possess that which you can take, you can hold, you can protect and maintain and most importantly…” I sighed. “What those in power will allow you to have. Because if they can snatch it away without a second thought, it means nothing, none of it. I’ll never have a moment’s peace unless I can be sure I live within a realm where at the very least there is a ruler who doesn’t care about me enough to want to take happiness from me.”

What the hell was I saying? I blinked, the stink and the noise of Cheapside flooding in. Where the hell had those words come from? But as I considered them I couldn’t think of any I wanted to retract. No, instead something hardened inside me, a process that began back in the packlands. I could put the veil back on and allow others to lead me forward, hoping that they would do so well, or I could do this.

Tear the veil away and stare reality down, daring it to make the next move.

I nodded slowly.

“So while I know this will prick at your very large masculine egos, this is not a moment for a full frontal assault. No swords flashing, no knives thrown.” Silas’ teeth flashed as he grinned in earnest. “This attack on the king needs to come from a quarter he would never anticipate. Women.”

It made a pretty picture in my mind, to see the blasted king die at the hands of the very sex he seemed so determined to abuse.

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