Page 84 of Love in the Shadows

In two days, Nanny and Schmidt would be heading back to Berlin under the assumption both she and Astrid had died. Nanny would be heartbroken, but that couldn’t be helped. It would take months before the authorities would go through the rubble, by which time she doubted anyone would be interested in whether their bodies had been found or not. Everyone was far too consumed by the war to give her and Astrid’s death any attention. “Nanny will go into town for the Women’s League meeting at eight p.m. Schmidt will take her.”

“I’ll need to shut Réglisse in Nancy’s bedroom to keep him safe with Cleo.”

Johanna glanced through the kitchen window. The kitten was playing with Astrid. He barely left her side, nor she his. She hoped Astrid would be okay without him, and without her. Two nights away from her daughter seemed like a lifetime. Although Astrid hadn’t batted an eyelid at her vater’s departure, and she’d been very excited at the idea of spending the nights with Nancy. If Fabienne trusted the woman, Johanna did too. Still, she worried about being separated from her daughter.

Johanna placed a small cardboard box on the kitchen table. “I’ll get the rations we have left packed up so your grandmother can take them to Madame. There isn’t much.”

“She’ll be glad of anything.” Fabienne tasted the soup cooking on the stove. “I didn’t realise eating vegetables could taste so good,” she said. “That’s ready.”

Johanna closed the space between them. “You taste better,” she whispered.

Fabienne’s breath hitched. She stared at Johanna with a look of longing. There was a quietness there too, that Johanna knew as concern.

“After tonight, everything will be different,” Fabienne said. “Going back to Berlin will be impossible. You won’t exist; your past life will be left behind. Are you still sure about staying?”

Johanna inhaled deeply, released a long breath. “Are you sure about burning down your house?”

Fabienne averted her eyes. “The house was never going to be as I remembered it, and I didn’t expect that we’d get it back. This way it will be worthless, and the Germans will not have any interest in rebuilding it. It will be our land again and when the war is over, we can build a new one.”

Johanna swallowed past the lump in her throat as she thought about all the Frenchwomen had lost, and all that they’d given. “You are an incredible woman, Fabienne Brun, and I’m very lucky to have found you.”

Fabienne’s cheeks coloured. “I assume that means you are staying?”

Johanna laughed. “I’m not going back.”

Fabienne’s gaze softened with the confirmation.

“When we get through this, I’ll write to my mother. Maybe when peace is restored, if she’s well enough, she can come here to live.”

Fabienne touched Johanna’s arm and set off a ripple of desire that stole her breath. “I look forward to sharing a bed with you.”

The intensity in Fabienne’s gaze made Johanna’s insides fizz and her sex ache for her touch.

Fabienne moved past Johanna, towards the kitchen door. “I will leave you to your supper. As soon as they’ve left for town, bring Astrid and Réglisse to the cottage.”

Johanna smiled at Fabienne’s business-like manner. She understood it now and found it endearing. “I can’t wait for this to be over,” she said.

Fabienne came back to her, held her gaze, and kissed her.

***

At seven-fifty, the black car started towards the main road. A couple of minutes later, Johanna strode across the yard with Astrid, who was carrying a cardboard box. Johanna had a box in one hand and a valise in the other. They entered the kitchen in a whirlwind of excited anticipation.

Fabienne ruffled Astrid’s hair. Réglisse meowed from inside the box in her hands. Fabienne took it and set it on the table. “He’s going to have fun playing with Cleo,” she said.

Astrid nodded, though a small frown formed on her brow, and she pursed her lips. Johanna put her arm around her shoulders. “Astrid’s and my clothes,” she said, and set the valise on the floor.

Mamie entered the kitchen with Nancy. “Are my girls ready?”

Nancy ran to Astrid and held her hand. “We’re going on an adventure.”

Astrid looked to Johanna, her eyes glassing over.

“Don’t be scared,” Nancy said, and hugged her tightly. “I’ll look after you.”

Johanna knelt and stroked Astrid’s hair, thumbed the tear from her cheek. “Can you be strong for me?”

Astrid nodded. “I’m scared.”

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