Page 67 of Love in the Shadows

“Would you like a brandy?”

Johanna nodded. “To numb the pain.”

Fabienne went to the kitchen.

Mamie stroked her granddaughter’s arm in a way that said she understood how Johanna felt. “I’ll put some cheese and bread on a plate for her, though I doubt she’ll be able to stomach much. Try and get her to eat something. She needs to keep her strength up.”

Fabienne returned to the couch with their drinks. No words could console Johanna, only time would ease the agony, and there wasn’t the time to grieve properly now. That sounded callous, but they had to focus on the rescue mission, and the distraction Fabienne knew from bitter experience would help. If only in the short-term.

“Let’s go over the plan for tomorrow again,” Fabienne said.

Johanna sipped her drink.

“Tomorrow we will move the racking in the cellar and unlock the door to the cave. The children will arrive from the tunnel between nine-forty and ten p.m. We need to keep the door to the cellar locked. Only you will have the key.”

Johanna nodded, though appeared understandably vacant.

Fabienne turned Johanna gently to look at her, caressed her face, and spoke softly. “What did I say?”

Johanna pressed her cheek against Fabienne’s hand, and closed her eyes. “I will have the key.”

Fabienne stroked her cheek. “Good. They will stay in the cellar overnight and then we’ll move them in pairs using the milk van. We make two trips a day. Any more than that and we run the risk of getting stopped. I will move the children through the tunnel to the mill. From there, we make our way back here where the van will be parked outside as usual. It is the long way around, but if I change my routine, or if anyone spots children coming out of your house, it will look odd. Hauptmann Schmidt might notice a change in my routines, and he is quick to search when he thinks something is wrong. Sixteen children. How many trips, Johanna?”

“Eight,” Johanna said.

“Good. How many days is that?”

“Four.”

“Right. Good.”

Johanna opened her eyes and kissed the palm of Fabienne’s hand, her gaze locked on Fabienne. The intimacy they shared was about more than lust. The depth of it was profound, touching every cell in her. It warmed her; it fuelled her. And the understanding that passed between them, which words could not express, bound their souls. They were meant to be together. Fabienne stroked Johanna’s hand, leaned forward, and kissed her tenderly.

Mamie came in and placed a plate of food on the low table. She left without speaking.

Fabienne smiled softly and kissed Johanna again. “I love you,” she whispered. It would be small consolation, she knew, and the timing was all wrong. But Fabienne had to say it now in case they didn’t both make it to the end of next week.

Johanna’s lips curled up a fraction and then the smile slid from her face, stolen by inconsolable grief. She took a deep breath and blew out hard, as if pumping herself up. “I’d better get back,” she said.

“Eat something first.”

“I’m not hungry.”

Fabienne nodded. “I know. But you need the energy.” She refrained from saying that sixteen children needed her. Johanna only needed one child, and she could never bring him back.

Johanna took a bite of cheese and bread and chewed slowly.

Fabienne sipped her drink. She was about to say how well baby Bénédicte was doing, and stopped herself in time.

Johanna squeezed the chunk of bread. “I would kill Gerhard if I thought it might help.”

Fabienne sensed her anger rising. She had been through the same fluctuations in mood after her parents died. It would take a while for Johanna’s emotions to settle, or for her to manage the turmoil. Fabienne had to hope Johanna could hold it together for the sake of the mission. “That won’t help us,” she said. “At least, not tonight.”

Fabienne made sure Johanna ate, then watched her cross the yard, enter the house; the slither of light appearing through the shuttered bedroom window. Fabienne followed, entered the house through the kitchen door and crept up the stairs. She opened Johanna’s door and slipped into the bedroom, locking it behind her.

Johanna sat up sharply, put her hand to her chest, and gasped. “What are you doing here? You scared me.”

Fabienne went to her bed, drew her into her arms and kissed her. “I didn’t think you would want to be alone tonight.”

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