Page 63 of Love in the Shadows

Fabienne cupped Johanna’s cheeks and kissed her firmly. “You have no idea. Wait here.” She took the bottle upstairs and got Esther to take the medicine, then returned to the kitchen. “We need to get more, but even a little makes a big difference. Thank you.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

Fabienne closed the space between them and drew Johanna to her. She felt so good in her arms, so right.

“I have dealt with Schmidt. I’m going to ask my husband to get him promoted, and he can stay at the house. Müller’s body will be gone by lunchtime. He died of the influenza. No one will ask questions, though Nanny is behaving oddly.”

“How? Do we need to worry about her?”

Johanna shook her head. “She’s quieter than usual. She didn’t like Müller either, so I don’t think it’s about that.”

“Be careful, Johanna. Please.” Fabienne traced the shape of Johanna’s face with her fingertip, her lips, and her neck. Johanna’s breath faltered. Fabienne kissed her tenderly. Johanna wrapped her arms around her as though she didn’t want to let go. They eased out of the kiss and Fabienne touched her face again as she held her gaze, imprinting it in her memory. “Thank you, for the medicine.”

Johanna stepped back. “Perhaps now is a good time for you to tell me why we’re storing food?”

Fabienne nodded. “Sit down.”

Johanna sat.

“I’d offer you coffee, but you’re used to the real thing and the acorn stuff is an insult to the taste buds. Brandy?” She took two glasses and poured them both a large shot, then sat at the table. “We have a mission and I need your help.”

Johanna sipped her drink. “Whatever you need.”

26.

JOHANNA STEPPED INTO THE garden with a cup of coffee and a glass of berry cordial, and inhaled the warm air. Astrid was playing on the swing. Finally the flowers were in full bloom – Lily of the Valley, forget-me-nots, daisies and lilacs adding their vivid colours and heady scents. It was so nice to feel that summer might be on its way, and to see Astrid enjoying herself.

In the month since Fabienne had talked her through the plan to evacuate the children, Johanna had managed to accrue a good amount of food in the cellar. She had told Gerhard that Astrid had developed a nasty cough to keep him away from her, but better still, he had returned from work the following day with a bottle of antibiotics, which she’d passed on to Fabienne.

“Can I go and play with Nancy?” Astrid asked, kicking her legs back and forth as she swung. “It is the weekend.”

Johanna handed her the drink. She glanced towards the house, across the windows on the upper levels, to see if they were being watched. It was a habit, since she still felt Müller’s presence lurking in the shadows of the archway. She reminded herself that he was gone; that things were different now. Schmidt had got his promotion and did as he was instructed. He was out sourcing rations. Nanny kept to her room when she wasn’t teaching Astrid, and this afternoon she had gone to see a friend she’d met at the Women’s League meetings.

Gerhard was at work and wouldn’t be back until late. He wouldn’t like the fact that Johanna and Astrid were alone in the house, but Johanna didn’t care. Allowing Astrid to play with Nancy was a chance for Johanna to be with Fabienne.

“Shall we go and see?”

Astrid squealed and jumped off the swing. She ran to the side of the house and across the yard. Johanna left her cup on the kitchen step and followed her daughter. The back door to the cottage was open when she arrived.

Fabienne was out the back chopping wood. She stopped, straightened her back and smiled. “Astrid has gone upstairs. I hope that’s okay. She wanted to play with Nancy. Do you mind?”

Fabienne glanced over Johanna’s shoulder towards the house. “It’s nice, if they can.”

“My husband is working. And if he says anything, I’m inclined to tell him where to go.” Johanna laughed.

Fabienne smiled. “You’re getting brave.”

Johanna picked up a log and placed it in the woodstore. “I’m not afraid of him, Fabienne. Maybe I should be.”

“Maybe.” Fabienne chopped the wood, and Johanna put the pieces in the woodshed.

“My father was a bully,” Johanna said. It was nice being able to talk to Fabienne about things that mattered to her; there was so much about her life she wanted to share with her, and to get to know her better too. “Even before the Great War, but he was worse after it. He got on very well with Gerhard’s father. They were like-minded. I’ve always followed Gerhard’s wishes, and it seems my country values such loyalty above reason and truth.”

Fabienne chopped more wood. “My father was gentle and kind. He valued politics, not violence. Both my parents enjoyed music and theatre. We weren’t affluent, but we weren’t poor either.”

Johanna stacked the wood pieces. “You helped me to do the right thing, Fabienne. No matter what happens next, I want you to know that it was you who helped me. Not just because I fell in love with you.”

Fabienne glanced towards the kitchen as if to imply someone might be listening.

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