Page 68 of Don't Tell Me Who To Love

“That’s rubbish.”

Mama took a pace towards Aisha and slapped her across the face.

Aisha held her cheek, lifted her chin, and gritted her teeth. The sting caused her eyes to water, but she refused to let her mama see her tears. “Te odio,” she said under her breath but loud enough to be heard.

“You don’t know the meaning of hate. But that is the insolence I am talking about. It will make you as crazy as Old María.”

Aisha gesticulated around the room. “This is driving me crazy. Can you not see that?”

Mama went back to cutting the carrots. “You have no idea how good your life is here. You think the world out there will treat you better? That you will dance for more money? That you will have richer food lining your greedy stomach?”

“I will have love.”

The whites of her Mama’s eyes made her look wild, and the way she screwed up her face gave the appearance of reeling in agony. Except there was a fierceness where there would have been meekness had Mama been truly suffering. Anger this brutal was frightening. Aisha tensed.

“You have people here who love you, and you reject them.”

Nicolás had spoken to her about their argument. She bit her lip to stop herself from screaming.

“You show no respect for anyone.”

She threw her hands in the air. “And where is the respect for me and what I need?”

“Need. Need.” Mama put down the knife. She took a pace towards Aisha, and Aisha cowered and took a pace backwards. “I’m not going to hurt you, Aisha.”

Aisha glared and unclenched her jaw. “You already did.”

Mama lowered her head. “I didn’t mean to hit you.”

“I’m not talking about a slap. The physical pain is easy to take. Have you ever had your heart crushed?”

Mama picked up the knife and hovered it above the chopping board. “You have no idea what love is, Aisha. And I will hear no more of this. You are marrying Nicolás, or you will marry Pedro. You decide which one you love more, and then you tell me. You are making a fool of this family, and it must stop now.”

“I am not marrying either of them.”

“You think I don’t know you’ve been lying to me while you’ve been sneaking around with that girl? I don’t want to know what goes on in your head.”

Aisha froze. “How can you do this to your daughter? You think this is love?”

“Yes, Aisha, this is the toughest kind of love. A mama who looks out for her children. We help each other make the right decisions for our families and our people. It is what makes us stronger.”

Aisha shook her head. True Gypsies were the ones who ostracised those who dared to speak for changes to their laws. No, she wasn’t going to conform. “It makes me weaker. It’s killing me.”

“Don’t be pathetic. You have no idea how our ancestors had to fight, the government, the systems, the Guardia just to survive. You would have us throw away our laws and standards just so you can live in some fanciful way that you do not even understand?”

“I won’t marry.”

“You will, and there is nothing more to be said about it. If you choose Pedro, I will get your father to speak to Nicolás, but neither will be happy. This is the only choice you have now. It is my fault. I gave you too much space with the dancing. Your papa said we should have guided you, that your spirit was too strong for you to know how to use it wisely. I thought you were capable, but I was wrong.” She shook her head.

“I will leave,” Aisha said.

“Nunca. That is not possible. Now, grow up, Aisha. I’ve had enough of pandering to your whim.”

“I hate you with all my heart,” Aisha muttered and marched towards the door.

“Where are you going?”

“The school.” The children wouldn’t mind her showing up earlier today. “I am going away from here to be with the children. I’m going to help them to believe they can use their minds to dream of a future they can grab hold of, and that they will have choices when they grow up, because this way, these laws, cannot crucify the next generation.”

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