Page 15 of Fearless Sinner

I stare out to the moon and promise myself that I’ll figure everything out. Once I do, I’ll focus on being the leader I was born to be.

Chapter Five

Chloe

I take a sip of coffee and stare out the window.

I’ve been sitting in the kitchen for the last few hours, thinking about everything.

I barely slept last night. I’ve also had way too much coffee. Eight cups in the space of three hours have fried my nerves.

I’m a wreck and I’m worried about what today will bring.

Despite my terror after Cillian and his men left, I managed to see Mom again, but I didn’t stop looking over my shoulder.

I knew someone was watching me but I didn’t know who. It could have been everyone. It certainly felt that way.

I got back to the house late, then I couldn’t sleep. I might have gotten an hour. Maybe two.

Right now I’m scared half to death, worried about my mother, worried about this money situation, and I keep wondering what I’d really do if this Harlan person showed up.

This is his home. He could come here now and technically kick me out.

I have fifteen thousand dollars. Finding somewhere to stay in New York without a job will burn through that fast. I’ve heard that New York is one of the most expensive cities to live in the country.

Even if I tried to live rough for a while, I’d still have to consider travel expenses and food. The best jobs are in the heart of the city so the further out you go, the more expensive it is to travel. And that’s the same if I got a car or used public transport. I suppose if I did get the car, I could potentially sleep in it.

God. What a nightmare.

I take one more sip of the coffee before I set the cup down on the table.

I have to figure out what I’m doing, but it’s hard when I don’t know where to start.

I have one more paycheck coming in next week from my waitressing job, then that’s it. I planned to get a job as soon as I can, but I wanted to see how Mom was first.

She may need me. It would also be good to stay here, but I accept that may not be possible.

At least Mom kept my room the same. I was pleasantly surprised to see that.

The same white fluffy rug was set by the bedside.The same classical literature and poetry books were lined up on the shelves. The same curtains hung at the windows, and the same pictures of landscapes were on the walls.Not a single thing was out of place.

It gave me some hope that maybe she didn’t hate me as much as I thought.

It’s just past eight, so I’m going to see her in a little while. I messaged Roxanne but haven’t heard back.

I couldn’t bring myself to call her. It was too much. I’m hoping to speak to her to find out all the parts that I don’t know. Especially about Harlan.

I can’t believe Mom got married and I didn’t know.

What does that say about me?

I get up, grab some bread, butter it, then sit again to eat, absorbing the silence.

Everything starts swirling in my mind, but at the heart of it all is Cillian O’Ridian.

I’m supposed to call him if I see Harlan. It hasn’t escaped me that he didn’t tell me to pass any messages on to Harlan. I’m just supposed to call him.

Apart from Cillian’s danger, I keep remembering that obvious way he looked at me. My treacherous body betrayed me the way it did before with Nate.

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