Page 66 of Penalty to the Heart

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” She smiles. “In fact, I’ve become quite accustomed to it, hence why your sudden silence is… worrisome.”

“Is that your way of saying you like the sound of my voice, Roxie?” I finally turn my head her way and wiggle my eyebrows just to flirt with her a little.

“No, of course not.” She laughs as if the mere suggestion is all too ridiculous for her to even consider. “And why do you insist on calling me that absurd nickname? Is the name Roxanne really too much trouble for you to muster?”

“I like Roxie.” I pretend to pout.

“For the life of me, I can’t see why.” She laughs.

I don’t say anything to that. Because if I did, if I told her the real reason why I liked that nickname so much, she would have gotten up from the floor and walked back to hide behind the safety of her desk.

Roxanne… is such a grownup name.

Roxie feels more like a friend’s name—someone I don’t feel so self-conscious confiding in, which allows me to purge every wayward thought in my head. Roxie also sounds like a name belonging to a girl that I could actually have a shot with.

Roxanne, on the other hand, not so much.

A woman with such a grow-up name wouldn’t look twice at me.

A woman like that wants a man in her life—a grown-ass man.

And as we’ve covered in most of our sessions, I haven’t quite figured out how to grow up yet.

“Mute again, I see,” she states somberly when I return to my silent form. “Okay, why don’t we try something else then? How about you tell me what you did this weekend? That should be harmless enough.”

“I’d rather not,” I grumble, not wanting to recall the fiasco that was Fiona’s party.

“Oh, come on. It couldn’t have been that bad.”

“Believe me… it was bad.”

“What happened then?” she queries curiously.

“If you must know, it was my youngest niece’s birthday last Saturday. Fiona turned one.”

“Wow. Okay,” she retorts hesitantly. “And how did you and your family decide to celebrate such an occasion?”

“Oh, you know, the usual. We celebrated it by pretending that her father wasn’t on a ventilator. That about covers the whole shit show.”

“I’m sorry, Caleb. That must have been difficult for you,” she says softly, her hand covering mine on the carpet, completely unaware that one touch is the closest I’ve gotten to receiving any sort of affection in months.

“It sucked not having Jack there. He’s all about celebrating his girls. He’s going to hate that he missed Fiona’s first birthday.”

“I’m sure he will,” Roxanne smiles warmly, allowing me to hold onto her hand a little longer. “Does your brother like parties?”

“Hell, no!” I laugh. “He hates them, but when it comes to his girls, he does just about anything, even attend his own parties. Do you want to know what part he likes most?” Roxanne nods, intrigued. “The thing my brother loves to do is to end a party by kicking every last motherfucker out of his place, sometimes even when it is just starting to get good.”

“Oh, my god. Well, that’s not very hospitable. Why would he do that?”

“The truth?” I hike up my brow really high. “Because he couldn’t go more than a couple of hours without putting the moves on his wife. To him, parties at his house were just one big cockblock. There’s a reason why Erin’s always knocked up. The minute my brother put a ring on her finger, he didn’t let up. So you can understand why he resented anything that would keep him from Erin for too long.”

“That’s actually sweet,” she coos, the golden flecks in her eyes twinkling brightly.

“It is, isn’t it? Just another thing I ended up ruining,” I mutter under my breath. “He must hate me.”

“Don’t say that, Caleb,” she quickly defends. “Especially when it’s not true.”

“How do you know? When you visited him, did Jack miraculously wake up and tell you that? No. He didn’t, so you don’t know,” I snap, pulling my hand from hers.

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