Page 63 of Penalty to the Heart

For them.

For me.

And most importantly, for Jack.

Erin keeps herself busy with the rounds in the room, making sure everyone is having a good time. Unlike my sister-in-law, I lack the energy to mingle and talk with the adults here. Instead, I devote all my focus and attention to the little ones, ensuring this party is not the dismal affair it feels like to me. Hence why a few hours later, I’m rocking a tiara on top of my head, my face covered in make-up to look like a princess.

It’s only when Erin presents the afternoon’s entertainment, a puppet show, that I’m flung back to the adult world. The first thing I notice is how my mother has excused herself from the party, preferring to stand outside on the veranda, refusing to engage in the afternoon’s festivities.

She hasn’t talked to anyone.

Hasn’t drunk or eaten a thing.

All she does is stare into the city as if she could see her favorite son lying lifeless in his hospital bed all the way from where she’s standing.

Against my better judgment, I fix her a small plate and walk outside to hand it over to her.

“You should eat, Ma.”

“I’m not hungry,” she mutters, shoving the plate away.

“At least have a piece of cake,” I insist with a hopeful smile.

“I said I’m not hungry,” she snaps, her nose curling in distaste as she finally locks eyes with me. “Instead of trying to force-feed me, why don’t you go and clean that gunk off your face. You look ridiculous.”

“I was playing with the girls, Ma. This is their handiwork. It would disappoint them if I washed it off,” I mumble, disheartened, placing the plate on a nearby table. “Have you played with them today? I’m sure they’d like to spend some time with their grandmother.”

“I will spend time with them tomorrow when the house isn’t so… crowded.”

“Jesus, Ma,” I grumble, “This isn’t a wake. It’s a birthday party.”

“Is it? Because I can’t see the difference,” she counters, turning her head over her shoulder and watching the gloomy faces of all the adults here. “Erin shouldn’t have invited these people over. Not when…”

“When what, Ma? When is it a good time for Erin to celebrate Fiona’s first birthday?”

“When her father is here to see it. That’s when,” she snaps in annoyance.

“Ma—”

“Just leave me alone, Caleb. You’ve done enough as it is,” she retorts, piercing me to the spot with just one severe glance. “In fact, I think it’s time I went home. I’ll call Erin later when she’s not so occupied with tending to her guests.”

And with that remark, she walks away, not sparing me a second look.

It’s been this way since the accident.

My mother refuses to talk to me, but when she does, I somehow regret it.

With my hands shoved inside my pockets, I walk back into the house just in time to catch the last act of the puppet show. I try not to roll my eyes as everyone excitedly claps in approval, as if they had just witnessed a grand Broadway performance or something.

“You know most men couldn’t pull off the spoiled princess look, but somehow you managed to make it look seamless on you. I must say, I especially like the purple eyeshadow. It really makes our eyes pop,” Piper teases with a smug grin while Charlotte, Nate’s wife, softly chuckles at her side.

“Hardy har har.”

“Don’t get your panties in a twist.” Piper laughs. “I’m just messing with you. It was a nice thing you did, letting the girls give you a makeover. They really enjoyed it.”

“I agree. It’s actually been a very nice party so far,” Charlotte adds with a friendly tone.

“No, it hasn’t. It fucking sucks. The girls deserve better,” I mumble, my hand itching to grab a whiskey bottle from Jack’s stash and find a hidden corner somewhere in the house to get drunk.

---