Page 164 of Penalty to the Heart

“His father should have the privilege. Not me.”

“It’s okay, Caleb. You did good today. Jack would have been so proud of you. Now cut the damn cord so the doctor can give me my baby.” Erin smiles, exhausted.

I cut the cord, still marveling at the little miracle I just witnessed.

The doctor hands Erin her baby boy, happy tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Hi there. I’m your mommy.”

My vision blurs as I watch Erin holding the new addition to the Donovan clan.

“And this right here is your uncle Caleb. You’re going to love him.”

“He’s perfect, Erin.” I can’t help but weep, pressing a tender kiss on his tiny hand.

“He really is, isn’t he?” Her eyes sparkle at me through all her exhaustion.

“Congratulations.” The doctor smiles. “Have you decided on the name so we can add it to his chart?”

“His name is Jack Donovan Junior. Just like his daddy,” she coos. “Isn’t that right, little Jackie?”

My heart breaks at the name she chose, but at the same time, I couldn’t picture him having any other.

Once the mother and newborn are fast asleep, I walk over to the elevator and go up to the fifth floor to give my brother the news.

“Hey, big brother. Guess what? You have a new baby boy. And… he’s fucking perfect.” I squeeze his hand. “I… I wish you could have been there. I wish… fuck, Jack… I wish for so many things.” I sob since crying my eyes out seems to be the new norm for me. “You were right. Life is more than just parties and hockey games. After what I just saw… fuck… I get it now. Some things in this life are bigger than applause or accolades. God, Jack. I wish you could see him. He’s so fucking tiny. So beautiful. Erin named him after you. Jackie Junior. God. Fuck. I don’t think I’ve ever missed you more than today. You should have been there, Jack. You. Not me. I… just.” As I’m about to cry my fill, I feel his hand squeezing mine.

“Jack?” I whisper, wiping the tears from my eyes. “Jack, can you hear me?”

I stare at his face, his eyelids still sealed shut.

“Squeeze my hand if you can hear me, Jack.”

My heart stops when I feel his grip tightening on mine.

“HELP! SOMEONE HELP!” I shout, unwilling to let go of his hand.

“Jack, squeeze my hand again. If you can hear me, if you can understand me, please squeeze my hand again.”

And when he does, I kick myself off the chair and hover over him.

“Is everything alright in here?” a nurse asks when he enters the room.

“It’s my brother. He just squeezed my hand,” I hurriedly explain.

“That’s completely normal behavior for coma patients. It’s just his muscles spasming,” the nurse disregards, starting to walk out of the room again.

“Listen, fucker! I’ve been coming here every day for the past six months. And this has never happened. Call a doctor. Call whoever you need to, but help my brother!”

The nurse looks at me with pity in his eyes, and I have half a mind to punch that look off his face so he can take me seriously.

“Better listen to my kid brother. He gets belligerent when he doesn’t get his way,” I hear Jack say behind me.

“JACK!! You’re awake?!!”

“Shh, shithead. I have the worst headache known to man. Can you bring the volume down a notch,” he says, struggling to open his eyes. “And what’s with all the light in here?”

“I… I’ll get a doctor,” the nurse says in alarm before turning the lights off and rushing out of the room.

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