“Yeah? How do you know that?” I take a step back away from her.
“Because you’re honorable. And good. You’d never force anything on a woman. If I tell you that last night was all it was, and that I’m uncomfortable repeating it, then I know you will respect my wishes, even if you don’t agree with them.”
“You’re talking to the wrong Donovan. My brother is the noble one. Not me.”
“That’s not true,” she says, placing her hands on my cheeks. “You are as honorable as he could ever be.”
I try to pull away, but she keeps me in place.
“Caleb, now it’s your turn to listen to me. Last night…” she swallows, “was the first night I had been with someone since my husband passed. I thought I’d never want that type of physical intimacy again. And even if, by some miracle, I was attracted to someone enough to want to sleep with them, I knew the first time would have been awkward and intimidating for me. But with you… everything just felt so natural. You put me at ease in a way I wasn’t prepared for. You took care of me. You made me feel safe and wanted. I forgot what that felt like. So… you weren’t the only one who got saved last night. You saved me, too.”
The emotion in her voice has my cock twitching, but it’s my heart that pays attention to her words.
“I can make you feel like that again. Cherished. Loved. Wanted,” I coo, wrapping one arm around her while grabbing her wrist to place her palm over my beating heart.
“No.” She shakes her head. “We can’t go back there.”
“Why not? We were so good at it.”
“Because—”
“Because what? Tell me, Roxie. Why can’t we be together when I know you feel the same way about me as I feel for you.”
“You can’t know that.”
“I do. I can feel it in your pulse… how your heart speeds up just by being in my arms.”
Her lips part as she stares at my hand on her wrist, rubbing the tender inside with my thumb.
“So tell me the real reason why you’re trying to push me away? Why can’t you be with me?”
“Because… I can’t. I just can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“I don’t see a difference, do you?” she says, her amber eyes starting to well up with tears.
“Can you answer me something?”
She nods, closing her eyelids so I don’t see that every word she’s uttering hurts her as much as me.
“Is the reason you don’t want us to be together because you’re afraid of losing your job or because you’re afraid of finally moving on with your life and past the memory of your late husband?”
Her eyelids swing open while her hands push me off her again.
“My job,” she lies with a stern expression on her face.
“I took you for many things, Roxie, but not once did I think you were a liar. Or a coward.”
She flinches at the accusation, but I stand my ground.
“Okay, Doc. If you want to play it like that, fine. I’ll leave you be. But whenever you get tired of sharing your bed with a ghost, remember that you have a willing, healthy-bodied man just aching to do the job. I’m right here. I’m right fucking here. He isn’t.” I slam my closed fist to my chest.
But when she refuses to say anything in turn, preferring to face the other way just so she doesn’t have to look at me, I walk back upstairs, get dressed, and leave.
But I’m not done.
If she thinks I’ll give her up without a fight, she has another thing coming.