Page 16 of Break You

“Yeah, well, that’s a problem for another day. It also feels like you’re deflecting. What the hell happened with those guys that had you in here looking like you just saw a ghost a moment ago?”

“Oh, yeah, that. Ugh. I feel better already now that I’ve heard what’s going on with you. It’s so much worse than my situation.”

“Hey, don’t be so happy about that.” Her smile was so bright it could have guided a plane to land at night.

“Besides, let me be the judge of who is more fucked up. Spill the fucking beans already.”

“Oh yeah, that.”

“Yes that.”

“Okay, I’m getting there, but one more quick question first.” Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the three wise-fucking-men! I was beginning to think I’d never actually hear the story.

“What? For the love of God. What the fuck do you need to know?”

“Which one was it?”

“Which one was what?” I was starting to lose patience, but doing my best not to be rude about it.

“The guy you’re having your love-hate thing with.”

“I’m not having any such thing with anyone, but if you must know it’s the guy with the thick blond hair and tattoos.”

“Oh yeah. He’s hot, but he even looks like an asshole.”

I couldn’t argue with that. He actually did.

“I agree, but can we stop taking about me, and hurry the fuck up with your shit. I’m growing a beard over here.”

“Okay, okay! Don’t get your panties in a pile. Yeah, so I came off stage and had to get my costume off stat. It sucks because it’s supposed to look like a tux, but really it’s a fucking unitard, with a concealed zip at the back, it’s like 100,000 percent man-made fibers and cuts into my crotch like you wouldn’t believe. That would be bad enough in itself, but is even worse for me because I sweat like a witch in the damned thing, and I get terrible thrush—”

“Ewww! Dude, TMI!”

“Jesus Rock, stop being such a squeamish wimp. Do you want to hear the story or not?”

“I do. Sorry.”

She nodded. “Okay. I can’t wear panties with it, for obvious reasons, so I just have to wear it for the minimum amount and get it off before my cooch sets on fire.” She really did have a way with words. “So, I dash in here and start yanking the zipper down, which involves contorting my elbow like a double-jointed circus freak, which is not too far from the truth, natch. Anyway, I manage to get the damned thing off, and have just pulled on my panties when the door crashes open and in he bursts.”

“He who? Xavier?”

“No, not him. The really hot one with the crazy rig. Tight black T-shirt.”

“Ah, yeah, okay. Jesus, he’s so cute it’s almost wrong. I saw his name on his card behind the bar, and then Xavier mentioned it’s his birthday. Devon, I think. No, that’s not right. Umm… Drew? Yeah, I think it’s Drew.”

“Okay. Not really important for the purposes of the story, but let’s call him Drew for argument’s sake. So, I thought I’d locked the door, but obviously in my hurry to prevent my private parts from feeling like they’ve been sprinkled in itching powder, I didn’t—or I didn’t do it properly—because now here’s this Drew guy looking hot as sin, just staring at me like… I don’t know like what. I just know it gave me all kinds of feels.”

“Wait, so what were you doing?”

“I was staring right back at him. Seriously, I felt like I’d been hit by a stun gun, or a fucking paralysis tick or something. I was literally ground to the spot. Couldn’t move a muscle. All I could do was watch him watching me, and try not to come.”

“Holy shit! What the fuck?”

“I know. It was all shades of wrong, but so deliciously… carnal, I don’t even know what came over me.”

“Sounds like you came over yourself.” I laughed at my own stupid pun.

“Almost, but then his eyes are sweeping my body and I realize I’m standing there in nothing but panties, caught like a fly in a spider’s web, in the hottest eye-fucking session of my life. So much so that I lost the power of reasonable thought.”

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