Page 55 of Five Mountain Daddies

“You didn’t specify,” Ryan says,laughing.

“Good kisser,” James adds. “But I could’ve used sometongue.”

“Oh, fuck you, man,” Ryan says, laughing, and I can’t help but join him. James is grinning and pretends to try to pull Ryan in for some more, but Ryan punches his arm and pushes himaway.

He sits back down next to me, a grin on his face. “Okay, James, your turn. Truth ordare?”

“Truth,” James saysinstantly.

Ryan watches him for a second. I’m still smiling from the silliness of the dare before, so I don’t exact him to say what he says next. It catches me completely off guard, and practically pierces myheart.

“Would you do anything to keep London from leaving us?” Ryan askshim.

I stare, shocked, and the laughter dies on my lips. Ryan isn’t smiling, and neither is James. Both of them slowly look at me, and I feel suddenlytrapped.

“Yes,” James says, softly at first. “I’d do anything to keep her. You knowthat.”

“Yeah,” Ryansays.

“Ryan, truth ordare?”

“Truth.”

“Would you do anything to keepLondon?”

“Anything,” Ryansays.

I watch them go through this, not sure what to do. I feel that thing inside of me again, rearing its head, growing bright and strong and almost impossibly overwhelming. I don’t know what to do, so I quickly stand up, not sure how to quiet thisfeeling.

“That’s not fair,” I say to them, not sure why I’m saying it. I feel irrational and crazy, but I guess that’s what love makes you feel sometimes. “It’s just notfair.”

“None of this is fair,” James says, a sad smile on hislips.

“But it’s true for all of us,” Ryan adds. “We want to make this town better… but we want it even more if you’rearound.”

I stare at them, openmouthed. “You can’t guilt me intostaying.”

“We’re not.” Ryan stands, but I back away fromhim.

“Stop,” I say. “I can’t do this. Okay? I just can’t dothis.”

“London,” hesays.

James watches, not saying a word, as I back away into the kitchen. I grab my wine and drink it down without reallythinking.

How can they say this to me? Don’t they know how badly this hurts? They know I don’t want to leave, but I never asked for any of this. I never asked to get tangled up in this fucking crazy five-way lover situation we’re in, and I never wanted to fall for each and every one of them. That’s the growing, bright light deep in my chest: it’s love, for all five of them. I’ve been denying it since the start, pretending like it’s not growing, but now I can’t pretend anymore. It’s flaring, burning inside me, bright as a spotlight, hot enough to melt steelbeams.

“I want you both to go,” I sayquietly.

“London, come on,” Ryan says, but James stands and puts a hand on hisshoulder.

“Come on,” he says, steering Ryanaway.

“Fucking hell, man,” Ryan says. “She wants to stay. I know shedoes.”

“I know,” James says, “but she has to make that decision on her own. We can’t pressure her or force her to do something she isn’t sure she wants todo.”

Ryan looks away from him, ashamed, but James just smiles and squeezes hisshoulder.

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