Page 96 of My Five Daddies

And what if I don’t want to live in Polovia? Could I have a baby and then abandon him? That sounds like the most irresponsible thing in the world. But that’s exactly what Nolan said I could do. They’d raise our child here, and he’d be there for him as well. I know the royal family would take care of the baby, but I don’t know if that’senough.

I don’t know if I could be an absent mother. But if I’m doing this for freedom, having a baby would seriously limit me. I’d be stuck in Polovia if I want to have any chance at a relationship with my ownchild.

I sigh and take a big sip of coffee, savoring the hot bitterness. It’s such a big decision. I open up the gossip magazine, almost as anafterthought.

The article about Nolan is pretty straightforward. It talks about him coming back to the castle to live at court again for the first time in over ten years. There’s a lot of speculation about him and his cousin, with the clear suggestion that he moved back to court to get back into his father’sfavor.

Then, it talks about his past and why he’s not the front-runner for crown prince. Apparently, he doesn’t get along with his father, mostly because he loves to sleep withwomen.

And apparently he’s been with a lot of women. Like, an absurd number. The article says over a thousand, but I don’t know if that’s even possible. This is a gossip rag, after all. There’s a full-page spread of pictures of Nolan, which occupy my attention for a little while, before I finally put down the magazine andsigh.

What the hell am I doing? I’m reading about the man I might marry in a freaking magazine. It’s the most absurd situation I’ve ever found myselfin.

“Excuse me,miss?”

I look up at an elderly man standing in front of my table,smiling.

“Oh, hello,” I say tohim.

“I couldn’t help but notice your, ah, face,” he says. His English isn’t great, but I can understandhim.

“Thank you?” I say, not sure what hemeant.

“Oh, I mean, you look worried.” He smiles down at me. He’s probably in his seventies or eighties, with pure white hair and a sweater vest. He looks like every other old man in Polovia, but his eyes are light blue and verykind.

“I have a big decision to make,” I say tohim.

He nods his head, understanding. “And you cannot make it,” hesays.

“Right. I will lose something no matter which choice Imake.”

He laughs a little and leans toward me. “That’s the trick,” he says. “You lose no matter what. You have to just choose, and hope it’sgood.”

“That seems very pessimistic,” I say tohim.

He laughs again. “Maybe, but it is true. Believe me, I am old, I know.” He stands up straight and looks serious for a moment. “No matter what, young lady, you only have one youth, so use itwisely.”

I look at him and nod. “Thanks,” Isay.

He nods back and slowly walks away. I don’t know why he decided to stop and talk to me, but people in this country can be funny. They can be super friendly sometimes, but overall they’re very reserved. It’s also odd that he somehow knew to speak to me inEnglish.

I feel a chill run down my spine and I sip my drink. It’s almost like that was some sort of sign, although I’m not the type to believe in that sort of thing normally. This place just feels so different from home, I can’t help but think that anything is possiblehere.

I glance back down at the magazine. Prince Nolan smiles back at me and I look at his handsome face. I could see myself married to that man, even though I don’t knowhim.

I shake my head, not sure what to do. But I stand up, take my coffee with me, and head off toward the castleanyway.

I can’t keep sitting on this decision. It’s going to eat me up inside if I don’t just make a choice, and that old man was right. I need to just choose and go with one option. I’ll survive whatever happens, and maybe evenflourish.

I walk into the center of town and get through security at the castle. I enter through the work door, which is basically where the staff all come through. I have to show my ID and swipe my card, but I can get inside without any issues. I toss my coffee cup before heading down through thehalls.

I don’t think I’ve ever walked around the castle in my normal clothing before. It feels a little weird, like I don’t belong there. I guess I actually don’t belong, since I’m supposed to be in uniform and working when on castle grounds. I guess that’s another thing I’ll have to keep fromBritta.

I finally make it to the wing where the prince is staying. His personal steward is standing outside of his door, and he gives me a dour, almost angrylook.

“I’m here to see the prince,” I say tohim.

He hesitates. “One moment,” he finally says. He turns and knocks on the door forme.

---