Page 3 of Caged Heat

Why that little harpy bitch!

Coughing, I cleared my throat as I pulled back the rage and the sudden urge to strangle the child.

“Sorry to disappoint you, Ashley, but I’m only forty.”

“Oops.” She covered her mouth and giggled like she hadn’t just decimated my soul with that one comment.

“We need to celebrate, Mom. Ashley, I can drop you off and then pick?—”

“No, honey. It’s fine. I promise. The girls from the bar wanted to get together as one last hoorah before I started my new job anyway, so don’t worry about it. I’ll go home and relax before I have to meet them.” I waved him off, keeping my face neutral.

Mack searched my eyes for any hint I wasn’t being honest. He knew me so well; it was hard to get anything past him. I smiled, giving him a nod that I was fine. He glanced over to Ashley, whose eyes resembled a doe’s as she stared up at him, her pink lips puckered together.

It would look idiotic if it didn’t work, but the girl knew how to work her assets. Mack softened and brushed a piece of hair behind her ear, clearly smitten by whatever her eyes promised him. He gave her a soft kiss, making me envious in a way I wasn’t used to. I always knew I’d have to share my son someday, but I hadn’t expected to be jealous of the love and affection I watched him bestow on her.

Not that I wanted him to treat me that way, just that I didn’t have someone in my life to do the same for me. Quite honestly, I’d spent so many years working and surviving, that it hadn’t left much time for dating. Hell, there hadn’t even been time for one-night stands or secretive kisses.

I might be forty today, but I hadn’t been with a man in twenty years, not since my husband died. And my first time having sex resulted in Mack, so it wasn’t like I had a lot of experience before Christopher, either. These days, the only thing my vagina saw was my own hand and my collection of various vibrators and dildos.

And I was happy with that. Fine actually.

But they didn’t cuddle, or kiss your forehead, or hold your hair when you were sick. Now that I had time to think about these things, I realized how desperately I wanted it… needed it again.

“I’m so proud of you, Mom. I promise we’ll get together and celebrate,” Mack said, pulling me into another hug. I kissed his cheek, tussling his hair.

“You need a haircut,” I teased, swallowing down the emotion.

He rolled his eyes, some of his boyish nature coming out. It amazed me some days that he was a grown man. He still felt like my little boy.

“I’ll text you when I’m off again. I start the new rotation tomorrow on the psych ward.” He grinned, excitement bubbling through him whenever he talked about his job.

I’d never pressured him to go into medicine; that had been something he pursued on his own. I always wondered if his father’s sudden death when Mack was four had played a part in wanting to know more. He’d taken to it like wildfire and managed to graduate college and med school early. I’d done everything I could to encourage him and help make his dream come true. Seeing him begin the first year of his residency was the proudest moment of my life.

“Okay, kiddo. Enjoy your lunch.”

His eyes fell a little, but he nodded, kissing my cheek before he walked off with Ashley. She gave me a slight wave over her shoulder, and I tried to ignore the little smirk I spotted. There was no use getting into a war with her. I loved my son too much to push him away.

Exhaling, I glanced around and noticed most people were gone now. A few families remained, snapping pictures with one another in their graduation garb. Realizing I hadn’t taken one with Mack, I lifted my phone out of my pocket and held it high, snapping one with my graduate cap on.

I assessed my picture as I walked to my car, taking in the small but noticeable wrinkles around my eyes and mouth. Freckles dotted my nose, faintly concealed with makeup. For the most part, though, I didn’t look forty. At least not what I’d always imagined someone my age looking like. In fact, most of Mack’s friends called me a MILF, much to both of our chagrins.

I hadn’t had time before to date, but that wasn’t the case now. School was over, and I no longer needed to work two jobs with my fancy new one that I started on Monday. The single salary covered more than both my jobs combined. With the added benefits of vacation, retirement, and health insurance, I felt a little like I was the one robbing them.

Maybe with this chapter of my life closing, it was time I started a new one. One where I dated. I didn’t know precisely how to go about it, but I knew a few girls who would. Nervous energy bubbled in my stomach as I climbed into my car, and it effectively washed away the self-loathing and irritation I’d felt earlier.

Tossing my cap and gown into the backseat, I reapplied my lipstick, giving myself a good lip smack in the mirror. Forty wasn’t that old.

CHAPTER TWO

ELEANOR

“I do what now?” I asked as I lifted my eyes from over the phone, confident they were pulling my leg. Steph and Vicky stared at me from across the bar, their smiles serene and genuine. Steph leaned down, pulling my phone closer so she could see the screen.

“Tap the picture if you like what you see and swipe it if you don’t.” She did a few, looking up at me, excitement brimming in her eyes. Both of them had tried to get me to join HEAT for years, claiming it was the best way to meet people. I’d always brushed them off, never having the emotional bandwidth, or time, to entertain a relationship. Based on their level of excitement at my willingness now, I regretted opening my mouth.

“That feels like the world’s worst cattle call,” I mumbled, wondering if the sun had made me go crazy. Maybe I needed to rethink this whole dating thing. “What happened to just walking up to people and asking if they’d like to go on a date?”

Vicky grimaced, and Steph shrugged, laughing at my antiquated dating ideas. Sometimes I forgot they were mother and daughter, but looking at them side by side, it was uncanny.

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