Page 34 of Ruined Wolfsbane

“So, it’s not getting worse? You’re okay?” Ava’s voice is full of hope. It breaks my heart. There isn’t any hope for me, at least not anymore.

“No, it’s not. I’m right as rain, Bun Bun,” I lie to her, hating myself a little, while at the same time hoping she believes me. Patrick’s beatings have gotten more violent in the last year. I’m worried he’s going to kill me someday soon when he goes too far.

I have contingency plans in place to take care of Ava. Providing for her is all that matters. My dreams of leaving this town alive have all but disappeared. I’ve made my peace with it, as much as any twenty-year-old can come to terms with dying. I just hope it doesn’t crush Ava when I’m gone. She has to be okay. Otherwise, all of this is for nothing.

Looking at the clock, I realize it’s way past time for her classes to start. “Wait, shouldn’t you be in class?”

“Yeah, but I couldn’t go to class when I couldn’t stop crying.” Poor Ava. I feel like an absolutely awful person for not calling her last night.

“I am so sorry I worried you, honey. Do you feel up to going now?” I wouldn’t blame her if she wants to play hooky. That seems a bit hypocritical when that’s what I’m doing.

“I guess,” she sulks. My lips curve up slightly, glad to see the normal Ava peeking through.

“Then get to class, Aves. I’m going to try to get some sleep, but I’ll have my phone volume on high. Call me if you need anything, Bun Bun, okay?”

“Okay, I will. I love you, Rosie.”

“Love you too, Ava.” I instantly miss her as soon as I end the call. My chest aches, wanting to see her more than anything. If I were in any shape to drive, I’d take one of Patrick’s cars to go visit her.

This is why I don’t care about people. Loving someone feels like a giant bruise that life’s constantly poking. Caring about Ava is about all the kick to my emotional balls I can handle. I guess it isn’t true anymore that Ava’s the only person I care about. Somehow, Rory, Ronan, and even the Grimm brothers have wormed their way in.

I’ll have a freak out about three of my professors being on that list later, when I don’t feel like death warmed over. Closing my eyes, I easily fall into what I hope is a dreamless sleep.

It’s dark when I wake up next. All the pain comes roaring back, causing me to let out a pained hiss. Spying the clock out of the corner of my eye, I see it’s 7:30 p.m. If I’m still in this much pain after almost twenty-four hours, it’s going to take a while for all the damage to heal.

Awesome.

I pat around on the bed until my fingers bump into my phone. Checking it, I don’t see any more messages from Ava, which is a relief. I tap out a quick text to let her know I’m still alive. Then, I look at my other messages, surprised to see one from Rory and Ronan each.

Rory

Hey girl! Hope ur feeling okay! We missed u in class 2day. Lmk if u need anything chickee!

Ronan

Hi Briar. Rory and I haven’t seen you today, and we’re worried. Please let us know you’re okay.

A strange warmth bubbles behind my breastbone at their concern. I didn’t think anyone would notice I was gone, let alone worry about it. Having people who care about me is terrifying and… nice at the same time. I know I should distance myself from Ronan and Rory after what Patrick said, but I’ve been alone for so long. I can’t make myself give up their friendship just yet.

Promising myself I’ll push them away soon, I send the same text to both of them.

Hey! Sorry I wasn’t in class today. I came down with a bug. I’ll be back in class Wed. Thanks for checking in.

I clear my other notifications before checking my school email. To my shock, I have a separate email from each of the Grimm brothers. Sebastian’s and Xander’s emails are pretty standard, letting me know I need to get notes from someone. Malachi’s email, in contrast, makes me groan.

To: Briar Wylder

From: Malachi Grimm

Subject: Unexcused absences

Date: Nov 4

Briar,

You missed all three classes today. School policy dictates that I need to inform the dean about three or more unexcused absences.

If you meet me tomorrow afternoon for catch-up work, I’ll make an exception.

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