Page 56 of Ruined Wolfsbane

Her icy-blue eyes turn toward me, holding me captive for a moment. Shaking my head, I start putting the numbing cream on. “The numbing cream’s nice,” she tells me while I work.

Not paying her statement any mind, I distractedly ask, “Oh, do you use a different brand?”

“Um, no. I don’t have numbing cream.”

My head jerks up at that. Fucking hell, she’s been stitching herself without anything to numb the pain?

This girl.

Her cheeks flush under my stare. Clearing her throat, she tries to change the subject. “How’d you learn how to stitch someone?”

I debate how to answer her. Finally, I settle on, “Bastian did a lot of organized fighting when we were teens. He still does it now but not as much. I learned what I needed to patch him up after a match.”

“Legal or…?” Briar trails off.

A ghost of a smile crosses my face at her tiptoeing around the question. “Now? Yeah, it’s mostly legal. When we were younger, he primarily did underground fighting.”

“That explains the broken nose,” Briar mutters to herself. My eyebrows rise in surprise that she noticed Bastian’s slightly crooked nose. She’s more observant than she lets on. “Why’d he stop doing underground fighting?”

Her question threatens to take me back to that night. If I close my eyes, I know I’ll see my twin lying lifeless on a dirty mat, eyes closed and blood seeping out of his mouth. I didn’t know if we could save him that night. He was touch-and-go for a while, but he pulled through.

As much as I want to blame his opponent for that night, I know it was Bastian’s doing. Bastian’s a powerhouse. Other than Kai and our dad, no one can beat Bastian unless he lets them.

I should have stopped him, but I didn’t know that he planned to lose so badly. I didn’t know that he wanted to leave me permanently. I didn’t know he thought dying was the only way to escape his demons.

“I didn’t know” is the story of my fucking life.

Slamming the door on those thoughts before I can drown in my self-loathing, I focus back on Briar. She’s staring at me with her forehead lined in concern. “It’s a long story,” I manage to say in a level voice.

“Fair enough. You’re good at doctor stuff. Why aren’t you one?”

I let out a relieved breath at her giving me an out. “That’s also complicated.” I chuckle humorlessly.

“Want to talk about it?”

Not in a million years.

What am I supposed to say?

I’m not a doctor because I couldn’t even save my own twin. I let him down, so he almost got killed, not once but multiple times.

Or, I destroy everything I touch when all I want to do is save lives.

What about, fixing people up makes me happy, and I don’t deserve to be happy.

Briar doesn’t need to deal with my damage on top of her own. Instead, I tell her about Bastian. I throw my twin under the bus so that I don’t have to talk about my feelings with her. I’m such an asshole. And a coward. I already knew that, though.

“Our family has high expectations of us,” I start. Holding back a laugh at how much of an understatement that is, I continue. “We’re expected to take over the pa—I mean family business.” I wince at my slipup. I hurry to continue before she can ask me about it. “All three of us have to take over the business together. Kai will be officially in charge, but Bastian and I are expected to be his right-hand men.

“Bastian’s never wanted to be in the family business. He’d be happy tinkering with his computers all day, but it’s not an option. All we can do is delay the inevitable until Bastian’s ready. As a compromise, our parents have agreed to let us teach at WHU before taking over. We get ten years to teach, but our parents are hoping we’ll burn out sooner. Long story short, being a doctor isn’t in my future.” I give her a resigned half smile.

“Your parents probably think dealing with the little shits at WHU will make you take over the business faster.”

A startled laugh bursts out of me at her statement. She rewards me with a genuine grin that makes my heart skip a beat. Briar’s dangerous to my heart all the time.

But when she smiles?

I’m a goner.

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