Page 54 of Ruined Wolfsbane

I gasp in surprise at the feel of his soft lips. When my mouth parts, his tongue dives in, tangling with mine. After a moment of shock, I kiss him back just as hard. The kiss isn’t gentle. It’s an angry clashing of lips and teeth. One of my teeth nicks his lip, and I taste copper on my tongue. He bites my lip in retaliation. I whimper.

Malachi growls into my mouth before reluctantly pulling away. With his hand still fisted in my hair, I can’t do much other than stare at him in a daze.

“You’ll come to me when you need pain next?” With my mind still foggy from the best kiss of my life, by far, I nod. “Good girl,” he rumbles, before swooping in for another kiss. Much to my disappointment, this one is little more than a peck. “Let’s get you to Xander. He’ll stitch you back up.”

He places his hands on my thighs and hoists me up. My arms and legs automatically wrap around him as he starts walking. “I can walk, you know.” I don’t fight him, though. I soak up this moment of closeness. Once he puts me down, I’ll have to start being smart and distancing myself from him.

“I know,” Malachi tells me simply, while continuing to carry me to Xander.

CHAPTER 23

XANDER

“What the fuck was that?” I seethe as I stomp into Bastian’s room. I close the door behind me, so Briar won’t hear us. Turning, I level Bastian with an unimpressed glare.

He just smirks at me from his perch on his forest green comforter. Green’s Bastian’s favorite color. So, of course, everything in his room has to be one shade of green or another. The walls, bedding, curtains, art, rug, and even the lamps.

It’s… a look.

“That, brother of mine, was me helping you with Briar. She’s getting the wrong idea when you act like you can’t stand her. I’m just making sure the one woman in the world made for you knows you’re interested.”

“I’m not interested,” I protest.

“Are we in the business of lying to each other now, twinnie?” Bastian says lightly. His easy tone is at odds with his narrowed eyes.

I sigh and lean my head back against the door. I probably should have said I wish I weren’t interested. It would be so much better if I weren’t attracted to Briar. If I didn’t admire her strength, find her dry humor hilarious, and begrudgingly respect her taste in music. From everything I’ve learned about her in the past couple months, Briar deserves a hell of a lot more than me.

Why doesn’t Bastian understand I’m trying to do the right thing?

Raking my hand through my hair, I reflexively reply, “Don’t call me that.” His stupid nickname doesn’t really bother me, but he loves pushing my buttons. I pretend to be bothered for his enjoyment. “I’m not lying to you, Bastian. I’m not interested in having a relationship with her,” I backtrack, trying to get him to understand I don’t want or need his help.

Liar, liar, liar. Part of me wants to check to see if my pants are on fire with how hard I’m lying. Guilt tries to worm its way in about lying to my twin. I squash it quickly. I’m only lying to protect him.

“Yeah, I don’t buy that. Whatever, Xan. Lie to me if you want. I’m not going to stop trying,” he tells me seriously.

Everyone sees Bastian as the joker. He’s not. As a kid, he was always the serious one. I was the outgoing one who always made people laugh. After we found out what that scumbag priest was doing, Bastian started pretending to be upbeat so our parents and Kai wouldn’t worry about him. We basically switched personalities. I stopped laughing. He started. I stopped making friends. He started. I stopped living life. He stopped living, too. I guess we’re the same with that.

After missing what was happening to Bastian, I didn’t deserve joy anymore.

I still don’t.

It’s only around me that Bastian stops with the act. I guess that’s not true anymore. Briar gets to see the real him.

“You should stop. I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine. You haven’t been in a while,” my twin tells me, sadness etched into his face.

I hang my head at his declaration. He’s not supposed to be worrying about me. I’m the older twin. It’s my job to take care of him. I need to do better at pretending, but I don’t have it in me to pretend right now. Maybe once Briar’s scent isn’t clinging to every inch of my skin, I’ll be able to think clearly.

A cold shower should help. Turning around, I open Bastian’s door. I stop when he calls out to me. “Xander?”

“Yeah?” I ask without spinning to face him. I grip the top doorframe with both hands, having a feeling I’m not going to like what he has to say.

“You deserve happiness, too.”

I grind my jaw but don’t turn to reply. Unclenching my white-knuckled fists from the doorframe, I leave without responding to him.

What is there to say?

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