Page 9 of The Swap Masquerade

I looked across the table and saw Trey’s head bent over his plate. He scooted his food around, no longer eating any of it. My heart hurt for him. He and Dad had never had much in common and that made it hard for the two of them to connect, although I knew Trey wanted to. He was desperate for some of our father’s attention, and I felt guilty that it was always on me when I was around.

“Hang on a minute, Dad. I’d like to finish hearing about Trey’s story first.” I tapped his foot under the table and winked at him as he glanced up.

Dad turned to my brother, looking almost surprised to see him sitting there. It made me want to grab him by the front of the shirt and give him a good shake. He wasn’t a bad father. He would do anything for either of us. I wished he would show some interest in something other than sports. Maybe then he and Trey would finally have something to talk about and maybe it would make it easier for me to tell him the truth.

The rest of dinner passed without any additional hiccups and I even managed to make Trey laugh a couple of times. After dinner, Dad retired to the living room and Trey and I helped Mom clear the table. When we were finished cleaning, I hugged them each goodbye then headed toward the front door.

Dad stopped me when he called out. “Your first game is next Tuesday, right?”

I fiddled with the keys in my hand. I was anxious to get out of there. Talking baseball with my dad always left me feeling like a fraud and I was getting increasingly tired of it. “Yes.”

He nodded. “I’ll be there. Make me proud.”

My stomach knotted painfully, but I hid it with a smile. “I’ll try my best, Dad.”

I turned and raced out the door, down the steps, and climbed into my car. My hands were shaking as I backed out of the driveway. I recognized the signs of a panic attack because I’d been having them more and more lately. I put my windows down, hoping the cool evening air might help calm me so I could make it back to my apartment in one piece.

Something had to give. The pressure had been building inside me with each passing day and I was no longer convinced I could make it another three months. I was tired of hiding who I was and what I wanted from everyone I cared about, but most importantly, I was tired of hiding from myself.

Once baseball was over, I would sit down with my dad and tell him the truth. I knew without a doubt he’d be disappointed that I wasn’t going to keep playing ball, but I had no idea how he’d react to finding out I was gay. That was a bridge I’d have to cross when I got there. I wished I could have a little taste of what my new life would be like right now instead of having to wait.

My thoughts turned to the invitation I’d found in the library. I’d heard of couples going to swinger’s parties before and having sex with other couples, but a party where everyone wore masks and hooked up with complete strangers was taking it to a whole new level. Still, I was intrigued.

I’d thought of little else since I’d found the invitation. In fact, I’d jerked off a few times that week imagining what might go on at a party like that. The invitation had burned a hole in my bookbag throughout the entire week, leaving me with questions spinning around in my head. Could I actually use the invitation? Would I want to? What would I wear? What would happen once I got there? What would it be like? Was I actually seriously considering going to a swap masquerade party?

The answer was yes.

My hands gripped the steering wheel as my pulse began to race for a completely different reason. My anxiety had been replaced by excitement and the thrill of possibility. Maybe I didn’t have to wait three more months. Maybe I could have a taste of what was to come without giving up on all my plans. After all, no one would be able to tell who I was so my secret would remain safe. Decision made, I hurried home so I could google costume stores. I needed to buy a mask.

Chapter 4

ELLIOTT

My nerves had kept me on edge all day and more than once, I’d convinced myself I should just stay home instead of going to the party. But then I remembered how I’d felt leaving my parents’ house the night before. It was time I finally took that first step and did something for myself for a change. With that in mind, I finished getting dressed and then checked myself in the mirror.

I’d gone shopping earlier that day for a new outfit since my wardrobe consisted mostly of athletic pants, t-shirts, and hoodies. I’d purposefully chosen a soft teal colored shirt that stretched across my chest and emphasized my broad shoulders. The black jeans I wore were much tighter than I was used to, but they hugged my ass perfectly and showed off the thick muscles in my legs. A pair of black biker boots completed the outfit.

I looked at my reflection, smiling as I barely recognized myself. That was the entire point of the night, I reminded myself. I wanted to look like someone else, act like someone else, be someone else. Even if only for one night, maybe that would be enough to get me through the rest of the school year.

Grabbing the small bag I’d picked up that morning, I stepped out of my tiny bedroom and down the short hall to the living room. Adam and I had been paired together in the dorms our freshman year. He was a nice guy and the two of us got along well, so when the time came to choose our housing for the next year, we opted to rent an apartment near campus and share the costs.

The apartment was old and in need of more than a little TLC with its outdated heating system and leaky faucets. It was also cramped with only a tiny kitchen which was too small to eat in and a living room that was just big enough for a couch and one chair. We shared a bathroom which could be a pain sometimes, but we each had our own bedrooms, which I was eternally grateful for whenever Rachel spent the night. Somehow, we made it all work though. Between our classes, my baseball schedule, and Adam’s part-time job at the auto body shop, we were rarely ever home at the same time, but he was still one of my closest friends.

He and Rachel were cuddled together on the ratty couch we’d picked up from a thrift store, watching some movie, and they barely noticed me as I walked into the room. “I’m going out. I’ll see you guys later.”

Rachel looked up then did a double take and whistled under her breath. “Looking hot, Elliott. You got a date? Anyone I know?”

“Thank you, something like that, and none of your business.” I ruffled her hair as I walked past, hoping to take the sting out of my words. I liked Rachel, she was good to Adam and had always been nice to me, but there was no way I was telling her where I was actually going. She pretended to pout, but I saw amusement in her eyes. “Adam, Elliott’s being all secretive and won’t tell me about the girl he’s dating.”

Adam looked over my outfit then his eyes settled on my face. We’d gotten to know each other pretty well over the past three years and I’d often felt he saw more than he let on. “What E gets up to is his own business. He doesn’t need you sticking your nose in and playing matchmaker for him.”

Rachel huffed at him and I knew it was time to make my exit. Knowing the two of them, they’d banter back and forth for a few minutes and then start making out on the couch, and I wanted to be long gone before that happened. I’d already witnessed way too much when it came to them. Tossing a wave over my shoulder, I grabbed my keys and headed out the front door.

Following the directions on my GPS, it took me about forty-five minutes to get to where the party was taking place. The lavish homes I passed along the way let me know I had reached the right area. My nerves kicked up a notch as I turned into a driveway and passed through a set of heavy iron gates.

Cars—much nicer than mine—lined the long path that led to an enormous Mediterranean style estate. It was by far the largest and fanciest home I’d ever seen. Strategically placed outdoor lighting gave the place a warm, welcoming feel while highlighting the immaculate landscape. The front of the McMansion was made of multi-colored stones and three large archways led to a set of heavy wooden doors. The whole thing could have easily graced the cover of any home or architectural magazine.

I parked my car and reached for the small bag I’d set on the passenger seat. In it was the folded invitation and the mask I’d purchased. My hands shook as I pulled it out and examined it. The beautiful teal color matched my shirt perfectly, and the intricate designs across the front made it look elegant, yet masculine at the same time.

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