Page 45 of New Hope

“I know he would. Plus, he could help you keep an eye on things around here. He has the makings to be a good guard dog.”

“Well, I can’t very well send him back out there. Not with the colder weather settling in. What do you say, little man? Do you want to stay with me?” She held the puppy up to her face, laughing when his tongue darted out to lick the tip of her nose. She looked the most excited I’d ever seen her as she stood up with the dog in her arms. “You boys stay as long as you’d like. I’m going to give this sweet baby a bath and then we’re going to call Doc Worthington and see if he’ll come out and check him over, make sure he’s all right.” She walked out the door before we had a chance to respond. As she walked down the narrow hallway to her bathroom, I heard her asking the puppy if he’d like to be called Toby.

Mike and I grinned at each other. “You already had all of that planned when you walked in with the puppy, didn’t you?”

He looked almost bashful as he shrugged. “You saw the two of them together. They need each other.”

“Well, it worked out perfectly.”

We cleaned up our mess and said a quick goodbye to Mrs. Bernard and Toby then headed outside. I shivered as soon as I stepped outside the warm cocoon of her home. I needed to remember to get my winter coat out soon. The temperature had dropped considerably after a storm had moved through the area, leaving the air much too brisk for my lightweight jacket. The heavy wind and rain had taken down most of the leaves from the trees, leaving the branches bare. It was only a couple of weeks until Thanksgiving, but I could feel winter creeping in, right on its heels.

Mike started the engine and cranked the heat up as I pulled my seatbelt on. “I’m starving.”

“You just had pumpkin bread. How can you be starving?”

I saw him shrug out of the corner of my eye. “What can I say? I’m a growing boy.”

I pretended to look him up and down, deliberately pausing when I got to his middle. “Mhmm. You’re growing all right.”

He laughed and gave me a playful punch which I would never admit actually stung a bit. “You wish you had a body like this.”

“Nah, I have better things to do than spend all my free time at the gym,” I teased.

“Yeah, yeah. Speaking of which, how are things between you and River?”

A shy grin broke out over my face at the mere mention of his name. Having already figured things out on their own, Mike and Ben were the only ones who knew River and I were together. Well, except for River’s parents who’d also figured it out on their own. Not surprising given the fact that they were our regular babysitters whenever we had a date night.

River had explained the situation to them and that we wanted to give our relationship a little time before we involved either of the girls. They’d understood and promised not to say a word. However, that hadn’t stopped Helen from giving me a giant hug the last time I’d been there and whispering in my ear that she’d never seen her son so happy. Nor had it stopped her from telling River that she thought I was quite the catch. A phrase I liked to tease him about. Often.

“We’re good.”

Mike shot me a disbelieving look. “Pul-ease! The way you practically beam every time you get a text from him tells me that it’s more than good. And don’t give me that innocent look. I know it’s him you’ve been texting. I’ve never seen anyone smile like that unless they’re in loooove,” he said, drawing the word out in a sing-songy voice.

I reached over and turned the heat down, suddenly burning up. “Um. I don’t know if either of us are quite that far yet.”

His eyes shifted from the road to me and back again. “Mhmm. I’m pretty sure you know how you feel about him, so what you really meant was you’re not sure how he feels about you.”

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as Mike hit the nail right on the head. I did know how I felt about River. I was absolutely crazy about him, and I was ready to take the next step and sleep with him. The problem was, I wasn’t sure if he felt the same way. I was pretty sure he did, but I’d been wrong before, thinking Connie and I wanted the same things when clearly, we didn’t. It wasn’t River’s feelings toward me that I doubted so much as my ability to interpret them correctly.

“It’s more complicated than our individual feelings. We can’t jump into things as easily as someone who’s alone. We each have young daughters to think about too.”

“You still haven’t talked to them?”

“No. I think Hannah will be fine with it, but she’s always known her dad liked guys. For Ellie though, it may all come as quite a shock. And after everything that’s happened? I feel like I finally got my daughter back after a year of complete hell. What if finding out her dad is bisexual proves to be one change too many and she slips back into that dark, quiet place? I couldn’t stand seeing her like that again.”

Mike pulled over and I was surprised to see we were in the parking lot of Kylie’s Diner. I hadn’t even realized we’d made it back to town yet. He put the car in park but left the engine running for the warmth. Twisting in his seat, he leveled me with an uncommonly serious expression. “Look, I get your concerns. They’re valid considering everything you and Ellie have been through. But I think you’ve got to ask yourself if this thing with River is a passing fling, or if it’s something more, something worth fighting for.”

My head thumped against the back of the headrest, and I stared up at the roof of the car. “He’s worth it. He’s so worth it. But that doesn’t mean I’m willing to let my daughter get hurt again.”

“Of course it doesn’t. You’re a fantastic dad and because of that, you’ll always put Ellie’s needs before your own. But let me ask you something else. How often have you seen Ellie smiling and laughing since you moved here?”

“Many times. Not so much when we first moved, but more frequently the longer we’ve lived here. Now, she seems to do it all the time.”

Mike tilted his head at me. “Did most of those times involve the four of you being together?”

I thought back, sifting through my memories from the day we’d moved there to right then. The trip to the apple orchard, going out for pizza with River and Hannah, watching movies with them, Ellie shrieking as River chased her and Hannah around the kitchen, the first time she spent the night at River’s parents’ house. The list went on and on, all of them involving River and Hannah in some way. “Yeah,” I whispered.

“And when you think about these times, what was your mood like?”

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