Page 37 of New Hope

“And how do I make you feel?” His lips brushed against mine with each word.

“Like I’m finally where I was meant to be and who I was supposed to be with.”

I cupped his chin, tilting his head back so I could kiss him deeply, thoroughly. I explored every inch of his mouth, swallowing his moans and feeding him my own. I stared at him as I pulled away, smiling at the half-drunk look on his face. It was good knowing I had the power to affect him the same way he affected me.

“So, uh…” he cleared his throat. “So, what now? What do you want to happen?”

“Well, that’s not only up to me. You have a say in this too. I need to be careful though.”

His forehead wrinkled. “You mean at work? Are you worried what the guys might think about you dating a man?” My eyes darted away self-consciously. His gaze followed me. “What?”

“They, um, they kind of figured it out already.”

“Figured what out?”

“That I like you.”

“How exactly did they figure that out?” His voice sounded amused, and I looked up to see him grinning.

I rolled my eyes. “They were here when you were out of town. The night you texted me.”

“I’m confused. If I recall correctly, I was reciting some pretty gross facts in those texts. Not exactly sexy material.”

“It wasn’t what you said in the texts. It was how I reacted when I got them. Apparently, I’d been acting like a moody fucker that week. When I got your texts, it was the first time I’d smiled. Mike and Ben were here, watching the game, and they started teasing me about it being some woman. But then they found out it was you.”

“I see. And what did they say?” he asked quietly.

“They were great. Said it didn’t matter to them who I wanted to date. They’re not going to be a problem. Neither will Gene or Layla. They’re decent people, good friends. They care about me, not who I sleep with. Not that we’re sleeping together. Yet. Or ever. But hopefully. Oh, shit, I need to just shut my mouth before I fuck this up completely.” I buried my face in my hands, mortified at everything that had just come out of my mouth.

The sound of River’s laughter had me slowly pulling my hands away. He was laughing at me which probably should have upset me, but instead, I found myself staring at him, appreciating how beautiful he was, especially when he was happy.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh, but I couldn’t help myself. It’s just that you’re always so calm, cool, and collected. I rarely get to see you flustered. It’s adorable.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed that,” I deadpanned.

That caused him to laugh again, but he quickly sobered up. “So, if it’s not the people you work with, what are you worried about?”

I sighed heavily. “Honestly? A few things. I worry about getting hurt again. After my divorce with Connie, I’d sworn off relationships forever. I had every intention of staying single for the rest of my life. But I guess I hadn’t factored in meeting you. I also worry about doing something to screw this up. Then, not only would I lose the man I care about, but I’d lose my best friend too. And if that wasn’t enough, I’m also worried about Ellie. She’s been through so much already, her whole world turned upside down by her mother leaving and then the move. What will it do to her to find out her dad is bisexual, not to mention that he’s seeing her best friend’s dad? And I just realized I’m saying all of this like it’s a done deal. I still don’t even know how you feel or if you even want to start seeing me.”

River reached for my hand across the table, a gentle smile on his face. “That’s a lot of worries to deal with at once, so let’s try and break them down one by one. First of all, yes, I want to date you. I’ve been interested in you for a long time. Like from the very first time I laid eyes on you. And then when I saw you in your uniform with those biceps and that confident swagger, and handcuffs…dayem! So, yeah, I’m definitely interested. I just never thought it would be a possibility.”

I chuckled at the salacious way he was staring at me, my skin heating under his gaze. “As for you losing me, that won’t ever happen. Even if we try this and decide it’s not going to work, I still want you in my life. You’re my best friend first and foremost and that’s never going to change. Anything else that happens between us will be icing on the cake. But the fact that you and I started out as friends makes me think this could be something special.”

“So do I,” I whispered.

“As far as the rest goes, there are no guarantees with any relationship, but I promise that I’ll never hurt you. Not intentionally anyway. And I’d never hurt Ellie either. If we decide to try this, then I say we take it one step at a time. Give ourselves time to get to know each other on a new level and make sure it’s what we both want before we share it with anyone else.”

“You mean sneak around?” I teased.

The edges of his mouth curled up and he waggled his eyebrows. “Could be fun. Think about it. Lingering looks, quick touches, stolen kisses here and there.”

“Throw in sexting and you’ve got yourself a deal.” River tossed his head back with a laugh and I stood up, pulling him to me for another long kiss.

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