Page 34 of New Hope

“Well, I only did so well because of you. You must have been one hell of a baseball player.”

I shrugged. “I wasn’t going pro by any means, but I managed to hit a few balls in my day.”

He gave me a knowing grin. “After what just happened, I think you’re being way too modest.”

The game continued amid lots of eating, talking, and some playful trash-talk. By the time we were done, my buzz had worn off and I’d won all three rounds. River was a good sport, as usual. The ride home was quiet but comfortable, each of us lost in our own thoughts.

“This was fun,” he said as he pulled into my driveway.

“It was. I didn’t realize how much I’d needed this. Thank you for making it happen.”

“Yeah, we should definitely do this again sometime. Only maybe we can find something I’m good at next time,” he joked.

In the light of the dash, I could see his smile, but it faltered when I didn’t join in on the teasing. My life had felt like a boat caught in a raging sea for so long. It had tossed me around until it finally, spit me out, only to leave me adrift without a compass or a paddle. I’d been going through the motions for my daughter’s sake, but I was barely keeping my head above water. But then I’d met River, with his gentle nature and happy-go-lucky personality, and he’d brought me back to shore, out from under the clouds and back into the light.

Alone in his tiny car, with only the soft glow from the dash allowing us to see, I felt like I was standing on the edge of something great. The choice was mine, stay here or jump? Remain safe or risk flying? My head and my heart were at odds with each other, but I was tired of fighting my feelings. For over twenty years, I’d ignored the part of myself that was attracted to men, but I didn’t want to do that anymore. Not with him.

His eyes widened as I leaned over the armrest, sliding my hand behind his neck, and pulling him in. My heart thundered wildly in my chest, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. He sucked in a breath at the last second, realizing my intention, and then my mouth was on his. It was quick, barely a brush of our lips, but it was the single best kiss of my life because in that moment, I felt all the parts of me come together, like a key sliding into the proper lock. It felt amazing, it felt right.

I wanted to keep going, but knew I should slow down, give us both time to think about what just happened. I pulled back, taking in his bewildered expression. He swallowed hard then licked his lips. My dick twitched in my jeans, and I knew it was time to go. “Good night, River.”

Cold air rushed in around us as I opened the door, but it did nothing to cool the flames of desire raging throughout my body. I rushed to the front porch and unlocked the door then I turned around. River was still sitting there, and I saw him give his head a shake, as if he was trying to clear it. After a few seconds, he slowly began backing out of the driveway.

When he was gone, I went inside. I kicked off my shoes and leaned against the door, my pulse racing wildly. I had no idea what River thought or what would happen next, but there wasn’t one ounce of me that regretted that kiss.

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