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The sound of my alarm clock buzzing woke me up and I reached over to shut it off. With a yawn, I sat up in bed, my feet landing on the hardwood floor. I rested my elbows on my knees and rubbed my hands over my face tiredly.

I glanced around my place as I forced myself to wake up. The cabin I lived in would probably be considered tiny to most people, with a bathroom, small eat-in kitchen, a living room big enough for only a couch and one chair, and just one bedroom, but it was more than enough space for me. Besides, the appliances were fairly new, the place was clean, and it was mine for free as long as I worked at the lake.

The plain cream-colored walls were still as bare as the day I moved in. I suppose I should’ve bought some decorations to hang or found some knickknacks to give it a homier feel, but I had never seen much point. I’d always figured that a home should reflect the people who lived there. I had no family photos or mementos from the places I’d been, so anything I bought would be generic and not a reflection of me anyway.

I stumbled my way into the bathroom, and after taking a leak, I washed my hands and splashed some water on my face. As usual, I avoided looking at the reflection in the mirror. I already knew what I would see there; a sad, worn-out, altered version of myself.

I quickly set about brushing my teeth then grabbed a towel off the rack before heading back to my bedroom where I pulled a pair of swim trunks out of the dresser by my bed. I slid my briefs down my legs and tossed them into the very full hamper, making a mental note to do laundry on my next day off, and I pulled my swim trunks on.

I checked my watch and noticed it was getting past the time I usually left, so I hurried out to the living room, slipped my feet into a pair of flip-flops and rushed out the door. It was still pretty dark outside, but I’d been doing this for so long, I easily found my way.

Once I reached the edge of the lake, I kicked my shoes off and tossed my towel to the ground then stood there with my eyes closed. Frogs croaking, and the occasional splash of a fish jumping were the only sounds I could hear that early in the morning. It was my favorite time of the day.

I’d started the routine nearly two years before when I’d first been hired on at the lake. It had been a particularly rough night, filled with nightmares and voices from my past that refused to be quiet. Unable to sleep, I’d left my cabin and wandered down to the lake. Surrounded by fresh air and the calming sounds of nature, I’d found a sort of peace I never knew existed.

People would probably think I was crazy if I told them, but part of me wondered if there was some magic in that place. All I knew for sure was that I had never felt that way anywhere else. I’d gone back every morning since then. Even when it was cold out, I would wrap blankets around me and sit on the edge of the water, soaking in the tranquility of my surroundings.

There was no need for thick blankets anymore. It was the middle of May and I could already feel the warmth of summer creeping in. Without giving it another thought, I stepped into the water, the thick mud of the lake bed squishing between my toes.

I sucked in a sharp breath as the chilly water enveloped my body, but I didn’t let it stop me, continuing to wade further out instead. By the time I reached the middle of the lake, my body had adjusted to the temperature and I began to relax.

I leaned back, allowing myself to float along the surface of the water. Water filled my ears, until the only sound I could hear was my own heartbeat. I could still make out a few stars and the moon overhead. The sun would be up soon, chasing the moon out of sight, but until then the moon seemed content to hold on to the serene moment as much as I was.

I closed my eyes and let myself relax to the steady rhythm of my heart and the water lapping at my sides. As I floated, my thoughts drifted to him. For years, I hadn’t allowed myself to think about him. It had been too fresh, the pain too great when I thought of everything I’d lost. But something about the lake helped dull the pain, and I’d begun to remember the only person I’d ever loved; the only person who’d ever loved me.

I stayed that way for a while, until yellow and orange streaks of light began to fill the sky and then I swam several laps before heading back over to my towel. My muscles were warm and limber as I slid my shoes back on and threw the towel over my shoulders. I noticed a few of the fishermen who had camped there the night before had woken and were setting their poles up for another day of fishing.

Once I got back to my cabin, I quickly showered the lake water off me and got dressed before I went to the kitchen and poured myself a bowl of cereal. I ate, standing at the sink, then washed my dishes and put them away. I went back outside and climbed in my truck then slowly began making my way over to the bait shop. I pulled up alongside the newer Chevy truck that belonged to my boss.

I smiled as I thought about the woman who’d hired me. Edith Bradbury was in her fifties and had been a dispatcher for the local sheriff’s office for over twenty-five years. She and her husband had always talked about traveling once they both were old enough to retire, but her husband had died of a heart attack before that ever happened. When Edith finally retired a few years later, she decided to take their life savings and buy the abandoned pay lake. She was hard working and determined, and within a couple of years, she had completely turned the lake into a profitable business.

She was tough as nails and expected a lot out of her employees, but she was also fair, kind and compassionate. And that softer side of her was never more evident than when she was around her animals. I’d seen her care for all kinds of strays in the two years I’d lived there. Anything from cats and dogs to rabbits and wounded birds.

I climbed from the truck and walked towards the bait shop, still humming the song that had been playing on the radio. It was the newest hit from Carter’s Creed and I just knew it was going to be stuck in my head all day.

There were two men in the shop and they both said hello as I opened the door. They were regulars at the lake and I stared at the floor as I mumbled a quiet hello and then quickly made my way around the counter.

The first several years after leaving home, I’d been bitter and angry and purposefully avoided other people. It had been necessary to both my sanity and survival to keep everyone at arm’s length. After a while, it became a habit. Even after moving to the lake, I’d just found it was easier to keep my distance.

The only person I’d let in, even just a little bit, was Edith. It had started out as a necessity because we work together, but eventually I’d found myself opening up a little more as I learned to trust her. She was the only person in the world that I would consider a friend, but even she didn’t know the painful secrets of my past.

Edith was slim with brown hair that contained just a touch of silver, hazel eyes and dimples that showed when she smiled at me as I poked my head into the back room of the shop, giving her a little wave. She was crouched down next to one of the large tanks on the floor, and I watched as she used a net to scoop several small fish into a plastic container.

There were three large tanks along the floor, each holding over two hundred and fifty gallons of water and fish that would be used as bait to catch the much larger fish that swam in the lake. Each tank had its own motor which helped filter the water and keep oxygen flowing into the tank. It was nearly impossible to hear anyone speaking over the sound of the motors, so I decided to go up front while I waited for her to tell me what she needed me to work on that day.

The front half of the bait shop reminded me of the concession stand my high school would open up during sporting events. There was the usual candy, mints, and gum, but the fishermen could also purchase warm foods such as soft pretzels, hot dogs, and popcorn. Hooks, fishing line, and brand-new poles were also on hand in case someone forgot or lost some necessary fishing equipment. The walls were decorated with pictures of fishermen proudly holding up giant catfish. Under each picture was the length and weight of their catch.

I was just stirring the creamer into my cup of coffee when I heard Edith come out from the back room. She went to the cash register, smiling at the friendly wager the two fishermen were making as she rang up their items. They paid and then headed to the front door. Edith and I were still laughing at the two of them as they continued to trash-talk each other.

“What have you got for me today?” I asked as she began straightening up the counter.

“Well, I need that old dead tree at the front gate cut down and dragged to the brush pile. Then, the back part of the lake needs weed-eating and the dock needs to be stained.” I nodded my head as she continued to tick off items that needed to be done.

I had been a little overwhelmed when I first started working for Edith by the number of things that needed to be done each day. But, over time, I’d gotten used to it, and had even begun to enjoy it. I’d never been afraid of hard work or getting my hands dirty, and I liked the sense of accomplishment I felt whenever I completed a project.

The best part though, was the physicality of the job. As a kid, I’d always been very athletic, excelling at many sports. It was something I had been proud of and it was supposed to have gotten me out of the hell I’d been living in. But, in one night, my dreams, my future and the one person I held dear were all taken from me.

“…Get the cabin ready,” Edith finished saying.

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