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What the hell was I thinking? That was the thought that kept playing through my head on an endless loop ever since I told Jeremy I wanted to be the one to plan our date. It had seemed like a good idea when the idea first popped into my head, but now I wasn’t so sure. I’d never been on a date in my life, so what made me think I had any business planning one?

The night before had felt like a dream. When Jeremy asked me out on a date, it felt like my heart would burst. There’d certainly never been time for any of that when I was growing up and then after I’d left home, I never stayed in one place long enough to take the time to get to know anyone.

All of my experiences with men up to that point had been a frantic grabbing of clothes, and clumsy thrusting of hips as we both raced towards the finish. There’d never been any soft caresses or longing looks, no gentle smiles or sweet words whispered like I’d experienced with Jeremy. He’d held my face in his hands, as if he were savoring the moment, as if I was something very special to him. But in the harsh light of day, I was panicking.

I’d come home and managed to get a few hours of sleep, but then I woke up, sweating profusely from a bad dream. A nightmare in which I took Jeremy out to a fancy restaurant, but when we walked inside, everyone started laughing and pointing. I’d forgotten to put on any clothes and I was standing in the crowded room, completely naked. I turned to Jeremy, but he just shook his head and walked away, too embarrassed to be seen with me.

Unable to sleep any longer, I’d gotten up, showered and then paced the floor as I tried to come up with an idea for the date I’d stupidly put myself in charge of. After an hour of getting nowhere, I decided to go for a walk, hoping the fresh air would help me clear my mind and come up with something.

It was almost noon when I strolled from my cabin and it was already very warm out. Several campers had been brought in while I’d slept, and their owners were out enjoying the sunshine and the occasional tug on their fishing lines. I knew from previous years that they would continue to trickle in over the afternoon and evening and by the next day, the place would be packed.

I walked over to Edith’s place first and pulled the bag of oats out of my pocket. I clicked my tongue and within minutes, three deer had hobbled over to me. I poured some of the oats into my hand and held my palm out to them. They knew my scent well from visiting them often and they trusted me. They fed from my hand and even allowed me to stroke the tops of their heads.

I smiled at them, cooing softly as they ate. When they were finished, they scampered away, leaping around each other in a playful game of tag. I leaned my back against the fence line and sighed as I stared up at the sunlight filtering through the trees.

I was being ridiculous. Jeremy was a great guy and the best friend I’d ever had. Whatever was building between the two of us, was big. I could feel it. And whatever I did or did not plan for our date wouldn’t change that. If Jeremy was feeling even half of what I was feeling, then he’d be happy just to be together. Still, I wanted our first date to be special.

Jeremy had shared so much of himself with me and he’d been extremely patient even though I’d shared very little. I trusted him more than anyone else, even more than Edith. But trust wasn’t really the issue anymore. The issue was whether or not I could handle telling him the things I hadn’t spoken to anyone else about in over seven years.

It had taken me so long to bring myself to think about my past. On the rare occasion I allowed those memories to trickle through, I focused on the one good thing that I’d had in my life. Everything else was too painful. That’s why I’d surprised myself so much when I’d told Jeremy about my mother committing suicide. I’d refused to think about that time, pushing it to the deep recesses of my mind, but then suddenly there I was, pouring my dark truth out to him.

There was something about Jeremy that made me feel safe and secure. Even before he’d told me about being in the Air Force, I’d known instinctively that he was a man that I could trust; a man that would never let any harm come to me. I tried to resist it at first, not trusting my own instincts after being hurt so badly in the past. But Jeremy broke through my walls with that easy grin and carefree laugh. And now, I was considering telling him everything and getting ready to go out on my very first date.

Ugh! The date! I pulled away from the fence with a frustrated groan and began walking down Edith’s drive towards the lake. I stopped when I reached the edge of the lake and put my hands on my hips, staring out at the sun sparkling across the water.

A family was camping nearby, and I watched as the father pulled his young son onto his lap and handed him the fishing pole. It was much too big and heavy for the boy, but the father wrapped his hands around his son’s, whispering words of encouragement as he helped him hold the rod steady. The mother came out of the camper with a tray of food and she joined her husband and son by the lake. The husband turned to her with a smile and the wife leaned over, giving him a quick kiss. It was a beautiful and touching scene and I smiled as I headed back to my cabin, a plan suddenly formulating in my mind.

A few hours later I stood on Jeremy’s front porch and took a deep breath. I felt like an idiot standing there with a bouquet of flowers and shaking like a leaf, but my search for date etiquette on the internet had informed me that dates were supposed to show up at the door with flowers, so that’s what I did. I wanted everything to go well and I just hoped the internet was right and that Jeremy wouldn’t think I was a fool.

He opened the door and smiled at me and, suddenly, flowers were the last thing on my mind as I struggled to catch my breath. His hair was still damp from his shower, making the strands curl slightly on the ends and he smelled like sandalwood and pine. He was dressed in cargo shorts and a green T-shirt that matched the color of his eyes perfectly, and when he smiled, the dimple in his cheek appeared, causing my breath to catch in my throat.

“You look incredible,” he said as his eyes scanned over me. I smiled back at him and then without a word, thrust the flowers in his face. He jerked his head back in surprise and I pulled my arm back, mortified at my lack of finesse.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to…these are for you,” I ended with a sigh. I hadn’t even made it off the front porch and already I was screwing things up. If Jeremy noticed how nervous I was, he was at least nice enough to not point it out.

“Thank you. These are beautiful. Come on in while I get a glass of water to put them in,” he said.

I followed him inside, trying to calm my nerves and slow my breathing. I glanced around the room as Jeremy grabbed a glass out of the cabinet and began filling it with water from the tap. Each time I’d had lunch at his place, I’d marveled at how neat and clean he kept everything, but now I attributed it to the many years he’d spent in the military. I liked knowing things like that about him, but I realized there was so much more to learn, and I couldn’t wait to get started.

“So, what are our plans tonight? You sounded awfully mysterious when you called earlier. All I know is that I was to dress casually,” Jeremy said over his shoulder as he carefully arranged the flowers inside the glass. When he was finished, he placed them on the center of the kitchen table.

“It’s a surprise,” I told him. “You’ll find out soon enough.”

“Hmmm. I don’t usually like surprises, but I think for you, I’ll make an exception,” he teased. I smiled, more pleased by his simple words than I probably ought to be. I couldn’t help it though. Jeremy always had a way of making me feel important. It was a new feeling for me and one that I cherished.

“Thank you. Are you ready?” I asked.

“Yes. Did you want me to drive? If so, I just need to grab my keys,” he offered.

“No, it’s not necessary,” I told him. One brow arched over his eye as he studied me, but I simply grinned back at him.

“Okay. I’ll just follow your lead then,” he said, sweeping his arm out in front of him in a lead-the-way type of gesture.

He walked along behind me and laid his hand on the small of my back as he reached around me and opened the door, holding it open for me. His hand felt hot through the thin layer of my shirt and I shivered in response.

“Thank you for planning this night. I know I’ll love whatever you’ve put together,” Jeremy said quietly. I didn’t trust my voice enough to respond so I just nodded instead. I hoped he still felt that way once he saw what I’d come up with for our date.

I saw him looking around for my truck, but he didn’t say a word as he followed me down his front steps and across the yard. The sun was beginning to set as we walked along the gravel lane that circled the lake and I smiled when Jeremy reached for my hand and threaded our fingers together. It was a gorgeous night and we took our time, talking as we walked.

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