Page 66 of The Cult

My heart thundered in my chest, ramming against my ribcage. Tobias’s mask of indifference I’d come to know these past few days was gone.

His stare traveled to my lips then back to my eyes. “I was in hell when Oliver first asked me for help.” Tobias paused. He dragged in a lungful of brisk summer air, perhaps hoping it would give him the courage he needed to continue. He didn’t carry on right away and I didn’t push, fearing that I would rattle him and he’d leave. It was better to have these real silent moments with him. “I wouldn’t even have remembered that he called if it wasn’t for the call history on my phone. That’s how messed up I was.” He looked away, but immediately corrected himself and locked his eyes on mine. “Aurora had just been murdered and I was in a dark place.”

“Tobias, I’m so sorry—”

He raised his hand. “It doesn’t matter. It was a long time ago.”

“But Tobias—”

“Stop.” He hesitated, his voice trembling. “You need to let me tell you now, because I won’t be able to go through this again.” His vulnerability was palpable, his harsh demeanor replaced by a raw honesty that cut through my shock at hearing the awful news about Aurora once again.

“Okay,” I said, fighting the urge to wrap him in my arms. “You can tell me anything.” I slid closer to Tobias until our legs brushed against each other. It was subtle, but I felt his naked torso lean closer to mine.

“I was coming home from work one night and she wasn’t there to meet me by the door. Her smiling face always welcomed me after every assignment. But not that evening.” Tobias shut his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.

I reached for his arm to let him know that I was there for him.

“What was waiting for me that night was fucking brutal.” He opened his eyes and continued. “She was on the floor in a pool of her own blood, her eyes wide open.”

I kept my breathing steady, though inside I was shattering for him. I could only imagine the horror of finding someone you love like that.

“I spent my days drinking and trying to find the animals who did that to Aurora, but I failed her.” Fury burned in his every word.

“Her death isn’t your fault.”

“It is my fault. I brought her into my shitty life. I know, without a shadow of doubt, that my fucking job is what killed her. I just never found proof.”

“What do you mean your job killed her?” I asked. How could it possibly be his fault? “What do you do for a living?”

“I’d tell you, but I’d have to kill you,” he answered. I’d heard that remark before, but it didn’t sound playful coming from him. “Truth is, I let your dad down. But I will never let you down.”

Now everything was making sense. Tobias never abandoned Dad; he needed help too. “Did Dad know?”

Tobias shook his head, his hollow stare glued to the ground. “It doesn’t fucking matter.” He exhaled, and along with his breath went his vulnerable self. He was back to the cold and guarded man who’d walked into my life days ago. The old version of Tobias was there only briefly, but I missed that man already.

I took his lead and stared at the horizon; the clouds above had begun to part, revealing glimpses of a star-studded sky. The rain that was threatening to fall temporarily retreated.

“I will try my best to get you and your friends out of here. Even if it kills me.” Tobias stood, extending his hand to help me get up. “Let’s go.”

“Wait,” I began. We stood face-to-face. “There’s something you need to know.”

He swallowed when he noticed me staring at his full red lips, the supple and moist skin daring me to kiss them. I leaned closer, testing my fate, but that was when he chose to speak.

“What do you need to tell me?”

“Right.” I looked down at my feet with uncertainty. Do I really want to involve him? Will the guys approve of my decision? Questions flooded my brain, but it was too late to back away. Not that Tobias would let me anyway.

“Abel,” he called, snapping his fingers to get my attention.

“I need you to know something before you risk your life for us.”

“What is it?”

“About our plan.”

“What plan?” Tobias cupped my cheek, his touch soothing. “Talk to me.” His thumb caressed my lower lip; his breath fanned my face. “Tell me now.”

My senses were buzzing from his touch, his dominance. “The guys have been planning to break free from here,” I blurted, before I became completely lost in his hypnotizing presence. “I trust you, Tobias. I really do. We all do, and we hope you can help us?”

---