Page 28 of Provoking the Punter

“I’ve fucked up too many times.”

“Once, and how were you to know it was Harrison in that room? Or that his wife suspected he was cheating? If she hadn’t turned up, it would’ve been awkward, but you’d still be playing for the Copperheads, and we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“They would’ve gotten rid of me at the end of the year. He’d have found a way.”

“Would you have fucked him?”

Garrett shook his head. “No, he’s married. She’s not gonna stay married to him, though. If you know the rumors about him, it means other people do. It’s only a matter of time before people realize she left him because he likes fucking men.”

“Or more correctly, to be fucked by them?”

“Not helping.”

“You want to untangle this mess? You need to start being honest. Because it all tracks back to hiding. You’re wound so tight because you don’t let yourself live. You don’t drink, and you don’t fuck unless it’s your birthday.”

“That’s not true. I don’t drink because my father is an alcoholic.”

“He’s also an asshole from the sounds of it.”

“You know what he said to me when the announcement came out that I’ve been traded? That I am a fuck-up.”

Chester put the pad and the water bottle on the table. His father might hate the way he’d gone legitimate, but he’d never once called him a fuck-up. He lay on the bed next to Garrett and put his arms around him, half expecting to be pushed away. Instead, Garrett turned towards him, tucking his head beneath Chester’s chin.

And for a couple of heartbeats, Chester missed not having someone to snuggle with in bed. His hand smoothed over Garrett’s back.

“You’re right, they will separate, and perhaps, Harrison will come out as bi or gay. All you can do is hope that it happens far enough in the future that people don’t connect it to you. But that means always waiting for someone to figure out your secret. I couldn’t live like that. So I never did. If people want to judge me, so be it.”

“I’m not that brave. I can’t imagine doing that.” His words were muffled by Chester’s shirt.

He must smell awful, but Garrett didn’t pull away. When was the last time someone had held him, and not while being tackled?

“You step out onto a field in front of a hundred thousand people, half of whom want you to miss. You are judged all the time.”

Garrett snorted; his breath was warm against Chester’s skin. “That's different. That’s not who I am. It’s my job.”

“People in the public eye, people like you, are judged on who they’re with, on what they’re wearing, and what they’re driving. Trolls remember what someone said three years ago in an off-the-cuff comment. I’ve made mistakes and stumbles, and I’ve been given a helping hand, and I’m not even a person of significance, not really.”

“You could’ve fooled me the other night. Those people loved being there.”

“It wasn’t for me. It wasn’t even for you. It was for the tax write-off and the ability to name drop.” He placed a soft kiss on the top of Garrett’s head. “Do you know why I started those dinners?”

“Because you like men in tight pants.”

Chester laughed. “I do, but so far, no one has turned up in uniform. My dad, for all his flaws and hatred of the man, taught me the importance of connections. When I bought my first bar, I made sure that I connected with the right people. When I started the restaurant and distillery, I made the decision to invite some of the team members to the grand opening. Because Austin loves the Troopers. And if the Troopers are seen in places, then they will want to be seen in those places. Within a few months I’d met Caitlin, because she wanted to arrange some paparazzi, and when I agreed to that, I put forward my idea for the fundraisers.”

“You’re the reason we have Bathtub Duty?”

Chester closed his eyes and pressed his lips together and tried not to imagine Garrett naked in a bathtub. And failed. Being close to him, holding him and feeling the lift of his back every time he inhaled…

He wanted Garrett to roll over and lie overtop of him, to drop his knee between his thighs and kiss him. “I wish there was an actual bathtub involved. Though I don’t think Caitlin, or the players, would go for that.”

“So you didn’t do it for charity but for your business.”

“Yes. Like you, I made certain sacrifices. I don’t particularly enjoy hanging out with people who would ignore me if they understood the kind of poverty I grew up in.” He needed to shut his mouth. “Though hanging out with them opened doors I didn’t know existed growing up. I was able to meet the right people to help finance the expansion. Now I make enough to sell to other places. They tell their friends about the fun night out they had and so on and so on. What you need are connections.”

“I know players on other teams. There are training camps over the summer for kicking and punting. But there’s only so many jobs to go round. It’s a mostly friendly competition.”

“James isn’t too friendly.”

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