Page 46 of Clean Point

‘Home?’ My brows furrowed together. Weeks spent together, and I still wasn’t sure where that truly was for either of us. With all the travelling I do for the sport, I’m never in one place for too long.

‘London. Paris. Wherever,’ she said, her shoulders sagging as if she was weighed down by her next words. ‘I’m done here.’

My chest grew tight. ‘Like hell you are. You can’t quit on me now.’

She looked at me, her lips pressed into a firm line as her spine straightened. ‘Quit on you? This is for you. The entire world sees me as a cheat.’

‘I don’t.’ Shaking my head, I swallowed down all my remaining reservations. ‘I don’t think you’re a cheat.’

The expression on her face twisted into confusion. ‘What about the test?’

‘We’ll have them retest the sample. If you say something isn’t right, I believe you.’ The words sounded a little strange, strangled even as they left my throat. But nonetheless, I knew them to be true.

Scottie Sinclair, despite everything, had my trust.

‘You know this could ruin you? What will everyone think? Nico Kotas snuggled up with Matteo Rossi’s cheat of a daughter.’

‘Don’t speak about yourself like that.’ The words tumbled out of me on a stern command. I hated hearing anyone talk about her that way, hated it more coming from her own mouth. Whatever she had done in the past, it didn’t matter. It didn’t define who she was, nor did it give anyone the right to judge her for it. I’d done that too, assumed the worst before I’d even known her. I still felt bad about our first meeting, the memory of her hand stuck out for me to shake, and me ignoring it like she didn’t even deserve the respect of a simple handshake.

‘It’s what they’ll think,’ Scottie repeated, pushing herself off the ground, before turning to walk away. I’d scrambled to my feet, knee aching as I rushed to stand, and grabbed her elbow gently causing her to still. Part of me felt a wave of relief at the physical connection. It was often hard to know where Scottie’s head was at, but at that moment she didn’t seem so far away. That was until she glanced down at the spot where we were connected, and although it pained me, I released my grip, cutting the tether between us.

‘What Dylan said, it’s what everyone will say. I’ll be a stain on your career, and … I don’t want that.’ Her voice was tinged with a vulnerability I wasn’t used to hearing. It was all over her face, she was … scared. I hated seeing her like that; it drove me wild with my own panic. I tried desperately to read her, but it was as if she were pages of a book written in a secret-coded language and nobody had bothered to show me the cipher. ‘Tell Jon thanks, but I’m done. I’m exhausted pretending that this is working.’

‘So what?’ I snapped back with agitation, my trainers scuffing against the brightly lit court as I paced back and forth. ‘Things get hard, and if you can’t cheat your way out of it, you quit? Is that what the last two years have been about?’ She stiffened, and I realized my words hit their mark. ‘I guess so.’

I ignored the twisting in my gut that told me this was wrong, pushed away the want and will to get on my knees and beg her to stay, if not for herself, then selfishly for me. These weeks, I could see the change in myself, feel it in my body. Having Scottie around lit my world on fire. Whether that was a good or bad, I was past caring, I just wanted her carrying the matches.

‘You know, I was beginning to think I had you pegged wrong.’ I couldn’t stop myself from twisting it all further, angry that she’d give up like this. She’d throw it all away? Quit and call it a personal service? ‘I thought you were better than this. But here you are, leaving because things got a little tough.’

‘A little tough?’ she scoffed. ‘Do you even realise the shit I go through on a daily basis? From the tabloids, to Dylan, and now you? I’ve not even done anything wrong!’

‘The world already thinks you’re a cheat and now you want them to think you’re a quitter too?’

‘Nico. Just stop,’ she shouted, but like an asshole, I ignored her.

‘Then why are you quitting? Why are you throwing everything away, again? Why are you le—’

‘It wasn’t my fault.’ She cracked open, cutting me off, but what spilled out was unexpected. ‘I didn’t even know it was happening.’

I froze in place. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘I didn’t do it.’ Her lips trembled as she spoke. Even in the silence of the night, it felt like the crashing of the nearby waves against the sand was louder than her voice. But she kept staring right at me, those blue eyes piercing, holding my attention as I tried to place the puzzle pieces together.

‘Are you saying they got the test wrong back then, too?’ I asked, trying to make sense of her words. It seemed unlikely they had gotten it wrong twice. Surely, she wouldn’t have just accepted the error. After all, she had personally admitted to cheating. I could almost taste the unease and tension hanging between us, a salty tang that lingered on the tongue.

She shook her head, loose blonde hair swaying with the movement as the moonlight illuminated the worry lines creasing her forehead. My muscles were so taut with frustration, and I was at the end of my patience of waiting for her to tell me the truth.

But instead, I smoothed out the feeling, taking a moment to consider how hard this was for her. Her chest heaved desperately for a full breath of air, her fingers running through her hair, pushing the golden locks out of her face, behind her ears, only for the wind to undo all her work. What a beautiful mess.

I’d took a step forward and closed the gap between us. With her gaze meeting mine, my left hand stretched out, fingertips finding the delicate line of her jaw. Drawing upward, her face leaned into my touch, my fingers sliding below her ear as my thumb stroked at the soft velvet skin of her cheek.

There was a single thought that cemented itself in my brain. A new desperate weakness to understand her.

‘Tell me, please.’ My voice was a trembling plea, an unspoken bargain that no matter what she said, I would believe her. ‘Tell me what happened.’

‘My dad, I mean, Matteo …’ Scottie started, slipping up as her words rushed out. She looked away again, her blue eyes shimmering with tears as she stumbled, trying to find the words. Trying to find the strength.

After Scottie came forward, it was easy to believe he’d turned on her. His legacy, now tarnished. It had been his driving force all those years. Had he really thrown her out? Had they had some kind of argument. Her spine straightened, arms falling to her side momentarily, before her hands met again, her fingers intertwined, like no matter how much she tried, anxiety couldn’t let her stay still. She took a deep breath, her pink lips pressing together before she pulled the bottom one in between her teeth and finally, the secret she had been keeping from the entire world spilled out.

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