Page 25 of Clean Point

His eyes shut, his pink lips parted, and that seductive noise. There should not be this visual of my mixed partner making that noise in my brain. But there was, and I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to be able to forget it. Finally pushing myself up from the floor and wiping my legs clean, I tried to collect myself, attempting to figure out what on earth had happened.

12

Nico

Norgaard – The Vaccines

If watching Scottie Sinclair drop to her knees in front of me, her blonde hair tucked under my favourite cap, wasn’t enough to push me to my limit …

If her blue eyes, steadily holding mine in a silent challenge, didn’t fracture the tiny bit of resolve I still had …

If the touch of her fingers massaging my injured knee, erasing that persistent pain in a way pharmaceutical drugs hadn’t come close, wasn’t my complete undoing …

Then it would be living on with the embarrassment of forgetting where I was, who I was with, and letting that goddamn moan escape me.

Followed promptly with what I did in the shower later.

13

Scottie

NDA – Billie Eilish

‘Failed?’ I repeated back. Jon’s stoney expression seared into me as he held the letter from the agency that had performed the drug tests. ‘How is that possible?’

He’d leaned back, his desk chair creaking on its hinges. ‘I mean this in the most respectful way, I can say it, Scottie—’

‘I’ve taken nothing,’ I assured him. ‘Not even during my time off. Did I enjoy my fair share of Champagne and cocktails, yes? But drugs, no. Not even once. I’m enough of a lightweight as it is.’

When he’d asked me to meet him in his office after practice was finished, the last thing I’d expected was to be accused of cheating. Again. But now the result of the test from a few weeks ago had come back as a fail, and there was an accusation in Jon’s tone that didn’t sit right with me.

His eyes softened slightly, his head tilting to the side. ‘If there’s a chance of anything, you know you can tell me.’

I pushed my hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ears before pressing my hands to his wooden desk. ‘I’ve put everything on the line here, Jon.’ I tried to calm my nerves, almost scared to ask my next question. ‘Do you think I’d risk that? After everything?’

‘I don’t,’ he said quickly. ‘But you understand, I had to ask.’

Relief relaxed me back into my chair opposite his desk, nodding my head as I did. ‘I know.’

‘With everything that went down with your dad, how you reacted, I knew this couldn’t be right from the moment I read it.’ I tried to hold on to his words, let them soothe the growing anxiety building, but it did little to alleviate it.

How did this happen? Was something happening to me without my knowledge again? I tried to recall the opportunities somebody had to mess with my food. I mostly drank bottled water, and always checked the seal was intact. It was a habit I’d picked up after Wimbledon, a distrust of where my food and drink came from. For a long time, I prepared my own, choosing only to drink bottled options when I was out at restaurants or bars. Therapy had eventually helped me manage the fear, but I was still easily triggered from time to time. Here, I’d felt safe with Elena preparing our food. After all, she had the Jon seal of approval, right?

‘When did you get the letter?’ I asked.

‘Yesterday morning.’

My eyebrows pressed together. ‘And you waited until now?’

He shrugged off my reply. ‘I needed to think. It’s not only our reputations on the line. Nico’s is wrapped up in this now too.’

Panic raced through my body at the mention of his name. If Nico found out about this failed test, there would be no partnership. He would never trust me. He’d have the paper evidence of exactly why he shouldn’t.

‘I don’t know how this happened, Jon. I promise, I haven’t touched anything.’

‘I believe you.’

I let a deep breath out, the tightness of anxiety loosening for a moment. Those three words soothed me more than anything.

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